Adventures of Darth Daddy

Thursday, December 30, 2004

No internet from 1am-8am this mourning

It figures -- 1am, Scooby Doo movie ends, I finally get Darth Logan down to sleep, and just
as I sit down to surf the web - BAM - I lose cable tv, internet, business and home phones.
Had to call Cox on my 12cent a minute cell phone. Determined that it wasn’t a billing issue
- now I have to wait till 4pm tomorrow for a tech to come out.

DOJO STUFF: First off - my most humble appologies for calling Adam a yuppie. At the
time, it seemed the best term to describe such a handsome, intellectual couple such as you
and your lovely wife are. A flair for the best that life has to offer - a look that exudes
confidence and beauty - and probably, a sense of being able to see right thru someones
bullshit when they are genuinely sorry, and try too hard to suck up!! Ok - enough of that.
(Side note: I noticed that tonight, Kreese mentioned a few web sites that he could direct us to
- hope he don’t Google us!

Have you ever had a friend that broke up with their boy/girl friend? They hate their guts -
they tell you just what a worthless bastard they were, and all the things that really drove
them nuts! Then - 3 weeks later, you see them back together again. And your’re thinking
“You know, this is the SAME person that failed English 101, and likes to run around the
house in your grandmother’s underwear, singing 80’s rock”. Well - I may have a crow
sandwich being prepared for me. I still say that Kreese isn’t quite right - a weird vibe I get
or something. But tonight, I again got blown off (harsh term - but Im upset that I bothered to
show up, and again there was no KF class) by the KF sifu. He said we’d pick things back up
after the 1st of the year. I left a somewhat upset Darth Logan, and a somewhat upset Darth
Wife at home to come to class - oughta damn well BE class then. But, after our Jujistu class
(in which we worked not only thru our basic requirements for next rank, but also worked on
some handbo stuff), we asked Sensei Kreese if he would conduct class. It was on the
schedule (and everyone looked like they were packing up to leave), but sure enough, he got
suited up, came on the mat, and held class for us. He speaks very fast - sometimes a little too
fast for me to follow. Now if someone were taking about karate stuff - or maybe even kung
fu stuff, I could hang - but the terms he’s using are related to wrestling, and I got no
background (or clue) about what these terms are. “Get in his guard - post yourself - “I saw it
done, but there was still something in my head going “huh?”. Had to interupt him from
time to time to clearify things for my simple self. And poor Adam - Kreese got on a roll
about “I could do this - or I could do that...” and turned Adam into a pretzel! I asked if he
wanted me to switch, not only so he could see, but to give him time to unwrap! Eventually,
he had me twisted all up like a Rolled Gold as well. I’d have to say that, never having
learned wrestling, or very much ground fighting techniques - this class perked my interest. I
have a gap in my fighting style - he has the piece that may fit in it - and I got this killer blue
judo gi I’ve been dying to wear!! (BTW - note to Adam) - I found another judo top, so don’t
rush out to buy one. I’ll let you borrow one of mine long term for the grappling class. I
thought I only had 2, but I found a 3rd one - no use letting it just sit there. AND - I think I
have a sollution to the “Kreese” problem. Next class, or so, I think I will mention that he
resembles Kreese - in looks, in that he has a no-nonsense approach to his art - all business.
This way, he may be flattered, and we don’t look like morons if we slip up and call him
Kreese by accident.

Today, you would have sworn that I got Darth Logan a Mood-Swing set for Xmas. Every
20 minutes, or so, he would go from happy go lucky, to crying and sad. He still is suffering
from that cold he has. I finally got tired of him getting into everything (that he normally
doesn’t), bundled him up, and took him on a road trip. The weather today is very warm,
compared to previous days. The snow is melting, and all you really need to wear is a
sweater or sweatshirt. So, I load him into the truck, make a deposit at the bank, browsed
around Best Buy, went to Walmart for cookies and banannas, then back home. We were
gone for about an hour or two, and he was in fantastic spirits the entire time. We weren’t
home more than 10 minutes, and he wigged out again. Something stupid, like he wanted a
drink, but refused it when we gave it to him. We’d set it down, and he’d fall to pieces! He'd
cry and cry - then fall into my arms, rest for 3 minutes, and look up and ask for - you
guessed it - a drink. Which I would then hand to him, starting the cycle ALL OVER
AGAIN! Nerve racking!! (Ok - im back - Lance was just fussing a bit - gave him his paci,
and he went back to sleep)

Guess that’s about it for tonight- 2:20AM and still no internet. I’ll publish this blog
tomorrow when service is restored.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Karate, Tae Kwon Do, Jujitsu, Judo, Kung Fu, and ME

Im so glad that I decided to get a backup computer (laptop) from Ebay. It’s not fast, it’s not
impressive, but it beats going upstairs to the arctic to access the web. Whoever built this
house must have taken all the money that they intended for insulation, and bought hookers
and booze with it. We have such a bad draft from the kitchen that we had to nail up a thick
blanket over the doorway to block the cold. Just can’t seem to locate the leak(s). Of course,
the cats take turns driving me nuts over it. I’ll make sure that they blanket it blocking all the
cold, which is their cue to go into and out of the kitchen...for what, I have no idea ..just
enough to create a draft where the blanket remaines open at the floor. When I get up to close
it, another one MUST go in. Driving me nutz.

I take it that my jujitsu partner Adam googled my name, and found my blog. Welcome to
the party! I’m glad that we got to talk on the phone. There’s so much going on at
McKarate, and never been any time to talk to you after class about anything. Non profit my
ass. But I do have to admit that they offer more (collectively) than any other dojo in our
area. Provided that they can actually keep it together. I still fear that they Kung Fu sifu will
decide he’d do better on his own (once he gets it all organized like he’s workign on), and
with limited student of jujitsu, it’s entirely possible that Sensei start to view this a waste of
time, and move on to better things. That leaves us stuck with a shitty Tae Kwon Do
program where the next youngest student is about 12 yrs old, and a questionable ground
fighting teacher.

About the Tae Kwon Do: Provided that you have a decent instructor, and we don’t, TKD
class can be very good for cardio, and learning basic defense components. Kick, kick, and
more kicks. Did I forget to mention kicks? But at least in kicking so much, you will build
up stamina. You also learn basic blocks and punches. I say basic, based on what I’ve
learned in other styles. TKD can be a good foundation - not much of a building to store
things in, but a solid ground work for taking your training tio the next level.

About the Jujitsu: When I first started learning karate, I started to gradually feel more
comfortable when someone was in “proper range”. Close enough to strike, but no so close
that it would jam up my attacks. Think of it like a whip - you want the target to be at the
end of the whip - that’s where all the power is concentrated. But if the person is too close,
the strike is ineffective. Where my karate was lacking, jujitsu added the neccesary piece.
“What do I do when they are in too close?”. That is what jujitsu addresses. If they are close
enough to touch Me, I am close enough to touch THEM. It will remove, as you progress in
ability, the fear of having an attacker “too close” . In JJ, there is NO too close. I was now
comfortable it someone was slightly beyond arms length, as well as if they were standing
next to me (like on an elevator). Our class seems to proceed at a very fast pace, but I think
JJ is a neccesary art for any martial artist. You need to work your way thru “what is art”
and “what is combat”, but it neve rhurts to do both. A painting can look beautiful for no
other reason that to please the eye.....the frame needen’t always be used to knock someone
out .

About the some other arts: Judo was a neat art to dabble in, because there seemed to be a
gap in my defenses. I now was able to deal with someone at arms length..and at close range,
but not all of my JJ addressed what my body wanted to do. Judo was another piece in my art
that allowed me to not only punch, kick, and armbar my opponent, I now had the ability to
hip and shoulder throw more effectively than under JJ alone. I wish that we had a straight
forward Judo class at the current dojo. ( As well as a decent mat, which Im sure is on back

Oh, that’s another thing that I forgot to mention - each of the teachers has mentioned that
they have requested certain training devices - weapons, mats, striking bags, etc , from the
office - and they get the same song and dance about “I put in the order, but they are
backordered”. I worked for a company before that I got that bullshit from once too often,
and as a result, I broke away and started my own company. 12 years in January(2005), and
still doing pretty well.

About the Kung Fu: Now, here’s where things really got interesting. I had always blown off
KF as being to flashy, too soft, too circular. I know that jujitsu and aikido both use circles,
but kung fu seemed to take it WAY over the line. When I signed up at the dojo, I figured
I’class or two, and be able to say “Ok - i tried it - and I still don’t liek it”. Much to my
suprise, I fell in love. Now, I’m not sure if Id have appreciated it as much had I not come
from a non-kung fu background. Some of this stuiff still seems weird, and a bit excentric.
But Kung Fu was able to show me that what I had learned before was only a few chapters in
a much larger book. Each of the other arts I studied seemed to try and claim dominance.
“MY art is the best - and the ONLY art”. Too many martial artisits are like this. Shaolin
KF was humble, and patient. At the same time, it is demanding and non-forgiving. I learned
that it wasn’t at all like the chop suyee movies you watch. It took the 3 punches I learned in
karate, and showed me 10 deliveries for each one. I now went from knowing 3 punches to
knowing 30. The same was true of other aspects as well. Sifu was able to take a technique
that I had learned (and performed) for years, and show me ways to mix it up, and transform
it. I started to become angry at some of my earlier styles - they were guilty of neglect. They
showed me how to do a spear hand strike, but never took the time to examine it. Where to
strike, where not to, - not just in general, but in detail.
Another wonderful aspect of Kung Fu is that it has various animals that you can learn
techniqes from. As a karateka, if there was something in my art that seemed lacking, I had
to go outside MY art to find another that patched what I was looking for. In Shaolin KF, if
you learn Snake style, and find that you are lacking in something (blocking, striking,
movement), you need only look to another animal style for a fix. No conflicting values, no
attitude over which one is better. If my Snake is lacking, my Lepoard can pick up the slack.
This was such a wondeful concept. In just a few month, the door to enlightenment as a
martial artist went from being cracked open, to being blown away. No more door - no more
frame - only me and where I want to go.

In Conclusion: I know that it really seems that I’m bad mouthing my founding arts a bit,
and I think of it more as a criticism. I still have a lot of contempt for TKD, as it’s the new
kid on the block with the biggest chip on it’s shoulder. Cross training is definitely the
Bushido. The way. It does me no good being able to prefectly block and counter anyone in
my style, if my opponent is not USING my style. You need to learn how ANY opponent
might attack, and be able to counter and defend. By training in various styles, I hope this is
something that I’m able to pass on to my kids. I have a responsibility to my “students” to
pass on knowledge as complete as I can get it - to prepare them for that one time when karate
alone isn’t enough, or TKD isn’t enough (and so on).

I hope that anyone reading this can take away some enlightenment from it, and it hasn’t just
been a waste of an hour typing it. I profess to have no more skill than a beginning student -
my knowledge is but a page on a never ending book. So if you disagree with what I say -
it’s ok - I am but a child - I encourage you to explore outside your own backyard.

OK - Enough karate talk - now for some other stuff:

I read that Miracle baby was brought home on Christmas day (YEAY).
Logan has some kinda cold, and has had moments of being intolerable. I try my best to keep
him happy. Luckily, he’s been drinking alot. They always say to force the liquids. No
trouble there. Poor Lanec is also coming down with a bit of a cold, and getting slightly
congested. Hope his doesn’t progress - he screams enough as it is! Poor Logan is walking
around with clear snot running out his nose every few minutes. I’m considering buying
stock in Kleanex (tissue company).

The snow is still on the ground, but reposts call for tomorrow to be almost 20 dregrees hotter
than the last week. Snow should all melt away in a few days. The truck has performed
great! IT’s was so neat to get stuck in the snow, and , at the push of a button on the dash,
transform into 4X4 man!!

Well - I just saw that Im at 3 pages! Time to cut an paste. If you made it this far - thanks
for hanging in there!

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Sleeping with the enemy

Had a opportuity to get some first hand info on Sensei Kreese today. We were over the
inlaws, had an early dinner, then I headed off to the dojo. The strrets are icy, freezing cold
outside, but still I venture to train. I was prepping my “this pisses me off” speech on the way
(expecting that the dojo may be closed/closing early), but it was open. My instructors, on the
other hand, ended up being the flies in the ointment. As I was stretching, getting ready for
the JJ class, the Kung Fu sifu popped in , and said that he may not have a class tonight.
He’d let me know. THEN , the JJ sensei never showed up. To cover for this, the owner lady
asked Sensei Kreese to “show us some things”. While I was pissed about missing 2 classes, I
welcomed the opportunity to meet this guy first hand. He’s teaching different classes, listed
on the schedule as “Brazilian jujitsu, judo, Hapkido, and Muy Tai”. Turns out that he is an
advid UFC follower (Ultimate fighting championships), and specializes (favors) ground
fighting. He told us that although the classes are listed as different arts, he will teach ground
fighting for all of them. Meaning, no matter what class you show up for, or what art you
want to study, he is going to teach the same thing for all. (That sucks - was looking forward
to getting a bit into Judo). Let’s see - my overview of todays session::::: This guy drops
more names than I would if I flung the White Pages out of a window. Seems like he is
tryign to impress people by throwing out names of important people. He was a bit heavy
handed (considering that he thoguht he was dealing with inexperienced yellow belts). I have
to say that what he is offering seems kinda interesting. The JJ class is neat, and is focusing
on the traditionalism of the art ( and I like this), but at times it seems kind of boring.. The
kung Fu class is facinating, but seems to be dragging a bit lately. I’ve heard from several
sources that Kreese has been badmouthing the KF style, then the first thing out of his mouth
tonight was “You should always crosstrain - it’s very important”.He showed us a few
techniques - foot sweeps, chokes, throws (stuff I already knew), and it seemed to be effective.
I should mention that I played almost completely stupid tonight, showing almost no skill,
and letting the othe ryellow belt ask all the questions about his background. I thought it was
best to be open minded, and see if he’d open up , and start badmouthign other arts. He
promoted the hell out of himself, but never said a bad thing about any other art. I dare say,
Im genuinely considering takign a few classes with him, to try it out. While I think he has a
few marbles short, I also feel 1. He may have something to teach me, and 2. Im paying
full price for the martial arts buffett, why not sample everything. After all, had I not decided
to “sample”, I wouldn’t have discovered my love for Kung Fu. I’ve always said my ground
work needed work - maybe this is the opportunity to fix that. I just have to look over the
schedule and find an open slot for his classes. Most of them conflict with either the jujitsu or
the kung fu class.

( A long time later - )
Well - I started to write this around 11pm, and and now getting to finish it around 4am.
Logan hasn’t been feeling quite right the last few days, and he woke up crying a few hours
ago. The only way to stop him from tossing and turning was to lay down with him. Next
thing I knew, it was 5 hours later!

Good night all..

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Christmas Day 2004

Merry Christmas to all!!


Today was a wondefulday. I’ll start it around 11pm last night. The wife had already wrapped the gifts..cept for one that was buried in the back of the garage. We picked up a Little Tykes workbench last year, on discount , after Xmas. For the last year - it’s been forgotten about in the garage. The kids were all asleep (11pm, present time). The wife went to bed, leaving me watching tv, and laying on the floor in front of the heater. It was cold outside - even colder in the garage. So I layed down there, just to rest a little. I woke up around 4am, and laying beside me was Darth Logan (fast alsleep). I picked him up, ans we both headed off to the big bed. Later, the wife said that she heard Logan crying, then heard me call his name, and he got quiet. When she checked on us, we were both asleep on the floor. I don’t remember a thing.
Around 8am, Logan woke up, checked under the tree, and ran back in the bedroom all excited. We got up, and watched him open his presents. We’re not sure if he was excited about the actual presents, or because we found Spiderman Xmas wrapping paper.
Later, my mom came over, and brought the boys presents. Logan had just woken up from his nap, and Lance was still snoozing. After we finished, we went over her families house for a Christmas dinner. Logan and Lance were in the best of spirits, and amazingly, on the best of behavior too!

Afterwards we returned home, had a small late night snack, and put both babies down for the night. All in all, a wonderfule life (That’s what Im watching on Tv - can’t find my vhs copy, and have been waiting for the tv to show it).

Embarassing moment: Last night, I hooked up an external keyboard to the laptop. I didn’t want to go upstairs, cause it’s cold. When I finished, I disconnected the keyboard, and to my dismay, found that my laptop keyboard was screwed. A numeric keypad had superimposed itself over some letters. Mind you, it was dark in the room when this was happening. I mistakenly thought that the computer had changed the driver from an 88 key to a 101/102 driver. Spent the next 2 hours trying to "fix" this problem, with no luck. Should also mention that the internet connection was down. Today, I opened the keyboard as saw that the letters that wer giving me problems had little green printed numbers on them. It wasn’t malfunctioning - it was a function of the keyboard. I pressed 2 keys, and BAM - problem solved. I felt very dumb. Relielved...but dumb.
The wife is behind me on the phone, tellign her about our little Chewbacca. The wife has a leather belt, with holes the entire length. Logan thinks it’s the bandalier belt that Chewbacca wears. So, when he sees it, he slings it over one shoulder (it’s secured to make a loop), and he runs around the house trying to sound like a wookie! It’s so cute. 2 years old, and already playing Star Wars make-believe ( like I did when I was 7). Warms the heart!!
Well, Im going to finish watching "It’s a wonderful life", get myself a late night snack, and see where I fall asleep tonight.

Merry Chrismas everyone!


ps. I’ve been checking on Miracle Baby ), and haven’t seen any updates whether she made it home for Christmas. I hope no updates means mommy has been busy celebrating with baby! Merry Christmas, Miracle baby!

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Patience and Strength

If this kid gives to see 3 yrs old, it'll be an act of God. He can b e sooo good - then be unbearable with demonic possession. The other day, I was heading out, and wanted to take him to the store with me. He threw a fit that I wanted to get him to wear his socks and a coat. This game went on for 20 minutes, and ended up with me issuing a final untimatem: Put on the socks - or you stay here. He started throwing a tantrum, so I tossed his cosks down, and said goodbye. WHen I got back, I found out that as soon as I left, his world fell apart. He cried for an hour - even went so far as bringing his socks and coat in the livingroom, and tried his best to dress himself. She explained to him that it was too late..and he just cried. She said that he eventually sried himself to sleep. He'd stir occasionally, and say "dada?". She'd say that I wasn't back yet...and he start crying again. Poor made me feel like a complete heel when I got back. The resulting shockwave of this event was that now I can't leave without him. I tried to go to the dojo tonight....and he baracaided the door, and put his shoes and coat on. He was soo cute doing that......(and he was starting to get really upset about me leaving) that I ended up not going to class tonight. I put him in the truck, and we drove aroung looking at the christmas lights. We ended up at a an Arbys, and split a chocolate shake. When we got back home, the wife had put up the xmas tree. I added 300 twinkle lights, and a santa hat at the top. We can put more stuff on tomorrow.

Son #2 has followed in the footsteps of his big brother, and decided that today was a good day to scream for as long as could , as often as he could. Have you ever been so distracted by noise that we were actually incapable of putting a sentence together? It happened today.

HEARSE NEWS: Today, I cranked the key on the black hearse..and after about 5 rrrr's, it turned right over. I was sooo happy. The nessecity of the hearse has now taken a back burner, since I got eh truck to carry the boys around in. But it's still nice to know that all the time I spent under the hood wasn't in vain.

SANTA NEWS: One last santa gig, and I can put the fat man suit away for another year. Christmas eve, at 7pm. Whenever Logan sees santa, he says " ho ho ho". If it's a photograph, he'll say "ho ho ho..dada". Gotta be hard to pull the wool over the eyes of this one when he gets older.

COMPUTER NEWS: I was at Biglots the other day, and came across a split keyboard, for $10 cheaper than the one I bought at Compusa. I'm typing this downstairs, using the laptop, and attaching the new keyboard to it. I can't belive how much easier it is to speed type when I don't have to worry about my hands cramping up.

MARTIAL ARTS NEWS: Well, the more and more I talk with people, the more I think the new teacher is a major asshole. I already know that there are hard feeling between the kung fu sifu and him, but now the jujitsu sensei says that she thinks there's just something not right in the head with him. She sat in on a brazilian jujitsu class, and wasn't very impressed with him. Some of his techniques were neat, according to her. But his attitude was very unwelcoming. Sensei Kreese is supposivly a 3rd dergree in Tae Kwon Do, Tang So Do, and brazilian jujitsu. All of a sudden, the "new" schedule for the dojo has classes in brazilian jujitsu (no suprise there), but also in judo, hapkido, and muy tai. Seems like the owners decided to make hima master of whatever art they thought would look good on a sales brochure. Shame too - I would have like to learn more judo. If the opportunity presents itself, maybe I'll sit in on a judo class. I'm hoping that this guy isn't as big as asshole as he coems off as ( and Im not the only one getting that impression.

Well, tomorrow is christmas eve. Hopefully, Darth Logan will be able to enhance his calm, and Darth Lance will find some reason to not cry for an hour at a time. If I don't get to blog again before the 25th, I hope you all have a Merry Christmas!

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Silent night

Just a short note for tonight. Moved a lot of stuff around in the house while the family was out. Had to completely take apart the box springs for the bed to get them downstairs. Finally bought a box of nails, and RE assembled it. We're getting our first snow of the season here, so instead of using my brand new keyboad (which is up in the artic attic), just using the laptop in bed, while the misses snoozes.

Short of rearranging the house, making a hardware store run ( I lost all the bolts from when I took the bed apart!), and playing Bob the Builder, not much happened today. Doggie is in the kitchen, kitties are cuddled in bed with us, the sonsare fast soon , I will be too.

Night night

Calm day here in Lazy Town

It is hard when you have a certain song stuck in your head all day finally get to the computer and Bearshare...and only 1 person has it. The result is that it'll take 40 minutes to download it. Guess I shoudln't is free. Or it could be worse, like this bunch of Fisher Price songs I cant find online. At the local Walmart, they have a display where you can push the buttons, and hear various songs from various kids oriented cds. Almost picked one up, then thought " This would be the first cd I've purchased in over 4 years". Proptly put it back, and noted to search for them when I got online. So far, no luck.

Still non Xmas lights up - but I did another Santa job today. A repeat customer - nice couple with 3 kids, who invite about 15 more kids (and parents) over for their annual xmas party. This year was as unorganized as usual, but things went well. I used some the tip money for cookies (late Walmart run with Logan to ge thim out of the house for a while). He's such a good boy - I feel sorry for him at times, when Lance starts to scream and cry. Hell, I feel sorry for me when that happens, so I knwo it's got to be hard on a 2 yr old.

I just noticed - Im writing this in the BLOG area instead of in MS word. Also just noticed that it won't allow me to copy, or cut and paste anything from this box. That sucks.

Not much went on today, cept for an early breakfast run with Darth Logan, a santa job, dinner and that run to Walmart for cookies.

Friday, December 17, 2004


Hold on to your hats, ya’ll.....a $20 tip for Santa now means that a beautiful splitkeyboard is now sitting atop my desk..and I will now comence to type at the speed offright!!
Noteworthy happenings: Yesterday, the day went very well. Had a great day with thefamily - went over to the inlaws for an early dinner, and did a santa job with abovementioned tip. When I was done, I just didn’t feel like going to Kung FU class, so I cmehome instead. Both the babies were still Logan and I played a bit while Lancenursed with Alicia. Then, we started to turn crancky (Logan). He brought in a pillow,and when I layed my head on it, he threw a fit. To make a long story short, I left himtake the pillow, but as he yanked it from under my head, he topped over headfirst in thecorner of the couch (near the floor). We bought a fold out sleeper a while back, and thecushioning on all but the butt part is almost non-existant. He starts to wail like abanshee....I grab him, and then he just drooped. I saw his eyes roll back in his head.....hewas exhaling, and trying to cry, but was just fading. I freaked!! I shook him a bit, called his name really loud, and after about 4 seconds (which seemed like an eternity), he came to, regained consciousness, and started to scream and cry. It was the most welcomed scream and cry I’d heard since the first one he made when he was born. He had a majorgoose egg on his forehead...and we weren’t sure of what to do. Rush to the hospitalseemed a bit extreme...and this is my son were talking about. I’d have had himheli-vacked if I though the needed it. We saw that he had compeltely regained his senses,and had stopped crying after about 3 minutes or so. Then we had a dimelma.....he wasreally sleepy BEFORE the accident, and we were in the proces of putting him to sleep forthe night. Now that we feared that he had a concusion, sleep was the last thing I wantedto allow him to do. SO we played games, and read books for over an hour. We stayedpretty mellow...sometimes really energetic....and we felt comfortable putting him downfor the night. But let me tell you - just about every 10-15 minutes, I was in his room,leaning over him, making sure that he was still breathing. I was a walking zombie bymorning..I dont think I got any sleep. He got up around 4am or so, and came to bed withus..and was very wrestless. But today, he’s been really happy, and very pleasant. We’vetested his memory of names, objects, etc...and he had no trouble recalling anything.
I just pulled up concusions on a google website, and see that it can cause bleeding aroundthe brain. Had I have seen that last night - we’d had taken him to the hospital. You hearstories about people who don’t get proper treament of their kids.....and think “What kindaidiots are they?”. Then something like last night happens....and it makes those otherincompetent parents a little more human. I guess it all boils down to a judgement call. I’l glad we called it right last night.
WALMART RANT: Why is it, when the lines are the most backed up....when the placeis swamped with people trying to check out....I always get stuck behind the dumb asstrailor park people who think the self check out device is some kinda goddamned videogame. “It beeped....DUH! Why do I do next?”. I swear to God.....tonight I was in therebuying some food, had a few things in the cart, and was behind the 2004 award winningmorons on the year. They’d scan an item (I call it to BOOP an item...cause that’s the sound it makes), watch the price appear, LISTEN TO THE MACHINE TELL THEM tobag the item..and hold it in their hands. Then they boop another item, STILL HOLDINGTHE FIRST ONE...and the machine didn’t like that. By the 3rd item, they had to put thefirst one they drop it in the bag, and we all hear “Item not recognized.....pleaseremove it from baggin area.” So they do..then they scan it AGAIN!!! Now they arepissed cause it costs twice as much as it’s supposed to. DUH!!
DOJO NEWS: 2 things to rant about tonight. One is a new Master tha the doj ohired. Anappearant bad ass....holds 3rd degrees in Tae Kwon Do, Tang So Do, and some brazillianart (maybe jujitsu, not sure). I’ve heard nothing but bad about this guy. He comes acrossas some ex marine type. Macho, something to prove. He’s been overheard taking shitabout the kung fu style, and how it’s not a good art to study. I’ve nicknamed him SenseiKreese . He was the bad guy from the Karate Kid movie. Not a big suprise that theasshole owner guy gets along with him so well. 2 peas in a pod, I guess. I’m dying forthe day taht he invites me to join his kendo / iaido class...and I tell him to stuff it.
The second rant is on pain in the ass “ attention seeking” students. New people needguidance...I respect that. But people who have to put on an act, just so that THEY get allthe attention really piss me off. A 30 some yearold version of this stoppped coming tothe KF class.....and has been replaced with a 15 yr old girl, and occasionally, someyounger kids. They (she) is constantly screwing up stuff..that she knows damn well howto do....just so she can get attention from the sifu, and from the other guys (who arewilling to flirt with her). Not only “she aint all that”, but even Jenny McCarthy joinedthe class and did that, it’d eventually get old too. We spend more class time dealing withher than we do learning. The others must find her cute or attractive....cause it’s such anobvious act..but they play along with her.

LOST : Childhood grade school sweetheart. Ok...she’s really not lost....and we neverdated...but she WAS my first real big crush. I went to Saint Stanislaus Catholic gradeschool in Cleveland Ohio. Catherine (Cathy) Grams had to be the ideal epitomy ofperfection in my eyes. Blue eyes..blond hair....sweet -----all except for the fact that shenever seemed interested in me. Friendly, but not romantically interested. I brought herflowers when she was home sick....I gave her candy filled hearts on Valentines Day. Not that I think of it, kinda reminds me of Charlie Brown and that little red headed girl. If anyone know what’s she’s doing now..or has a recent photo...please let me know. She crosses my mind from time to time.

KUNG FU: We did a bit of Wing Chung tonight. Interesting stuff. Hardest part (and Iseem to have conquered this already) is makign both hands move at the same time. SOunds stupid to say that, but most arts, are block...then strike..then strikeagain...1...2...3... Kung Fu, particularly wing chun, send out one hand to block, and theother to strike - both at the same time. More on martial arts comparision - another night.

MOVIE REVIEW: Still haven’t popped in the Return of the king yet. Saw it in the theatres, and was a bit dissapointed. Aragorn should have ended up with the humanchick, but the elf chick gets him (so satisfy female movie goers, and make the moviemore romantic). This did NOT happen in the book. The first 2 movies (particularly the extended versions) kick much ass. Maybe the added scenes will bring me back around to liking this one.
I- ROBOT with Will Smith. LOVE IT! I give it 2 snaps in a circle! It’s a wonderfulblend of Blade Runner, Star Wars, Men in Black, and a few other movie I cant think ofright now.. Mostly Blade Runner. I feared it would mostly be a special effect movie..andavoided it in theatres. But Walmart had it for $15 - so I risked it.

I think I’m going to start carrying around a small Handy Dandy Notebook. I have some really good ideas for topics to write about...and forget most of them as the day goes on.

Oh go along with the “contacting lost friends” theme above...I figured I write afew names down....maybe they’ll coem up in a google search if they type in their own name. Stacy Lee Dick (now married with another last name - New Hampshire). Micheal Davidson and Micheal Elswick (Cleveland Ohio). Donald Morton (Also Cleveland ). Sensei (s) Charles DeLaney, John Campbell, or Marcus Fort. and my new keyboard are signing off for now. Tune in tomorrow for morerants, complaints, or enlightenments.

PS. I've been typing my blog entry with MS word, and using the cut and past feature to get it into the publish box. As a result....Im noticing that every few lines, some words are without proper spacing. With is no fault of mine, or my new keyboard. Sorry for any trouble it creates while reading.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

The day of my birthday

Celebated my birthday today. Went to Walmart and bought the Extende version of TheReturn of the King. Also picked up I Robot (for me) , and Jurassic park2 and 3 (for thelittle one). Got a suprise early call from a friend I haven’t seen in a while. Met him andhis brother for lunch (with my family in attendance (me, wife and 2 kids)....but thingswent pretty good..Logan was very managable, even though we venture an hour past naptime). Later, we went to Shoguns for steak, shrimp, and all that good “cooked right infront of your eyes” stuff.

Before we left, I checked on the fish tank, and noticed that the temp was down in the70’s. It was usually around the mid 80s. Neither of the heaters seemed to be working. I have recently taken out 3 large slabs of sheetrock, to open up the view a bit. The sheetrock was originally put in for a newt, to have multilevels, and a place to be out of the water. Newt has since passed on, and the rocks are hindering my cleaing of the bottom. I wonder if those rock slabs had anything to do with the water staying to warm. It’s getting really cold here, but the water never got this cold before....even when theoutside temp was colder than now. Anyone know much about fish tank heaters? Or the heat retentive properties of slabs of sheet rock? ( Had to get another heater fromWalmart tonight)

Birthday persents: Got some neat stuff. Season 3 and 4 of Farscape on dvd, The Return of the King dvd, socks, sweatshirt, blue suede button down dress shirt, free lunch, free dinner and a back scratch. Would have liked to have gotten lucky, but the wife is still recovering from some body aching virus thing she’s had all week.

It’s getting cold here now...winter is finally throwing her weight around. I still haven’tgot the house in order...rooms are still a complete mess...but I had to bring in the dog. She’s so timid....I think she is some Austrailia herding dog. Our littlest cat keepsintimidating her, and forcing her into the cold back hallway. Poor thing. On a side note, it’s incredible how that cat and Logan can be like Calvin and Hobbes when around eachother, the cat can be like Garfield when around the dog, and the Logan + Lance combo ends up looking like Pinky and the Brain. Logan is Pinky. At least my like has humor in it!

Well...getting very cold up here tonight. I plan to go tomorrow and buy a split keyboard....can’t stand this standard one anymore. The most frustrating part is that where the backspace key USED to be( to correct all these mistakes ), I now find this damned\\\\\\\\\\\ key. So Im typing....I see a mistake....I go to backspace to fix it, and get \\\\\\instead.

See ya all tomorrow

Darth Daddy Turns 34

Well friends and cyber neighbors...Althought the actual "time" hasn't occured yet, butconsidering we’re into the 14th day of’s my birthday! Darth Daddy turns 34 today. We will probably go to Shoguns for dinner to celebrate. It’s a japanese resteraubtwhere they cook the food in front of you. Pretty neat place. I hate to admit it, but I’vebeen looking forward to this day for quite another reason....The Lord of the RingsRETURN OF THE KING extended edition dvd is released today!! I wanted to go toWalmart tonight (they put them out as soon as midnight strikes), but the Walmarts by mehave not been discounting new releases like they used to. I will wait till tomorrow, andgo to a non-Super Walmart (meaning they may NOT be open 24 hrs, and definitely don’thave a food section). It’s a farther drive than the other 3, buyt worth it if the dvd isdiscounted.

In a pains me to make this entry. Not because of my age, or my position inlife....but because I still haven’t gotten a new split keyboard, and this friggin one iskilling my hands!! ( just a small joke...but it really is a pain. I keep mispelling words,and having to backspace to correct them.

Below me, the children are all nestled, all snug in their beds. Still no Christmas tree upyet....and no lights on the house. Gotta address that soon! When we first moved in here,we were the house everyone envied (or despised at halloween). I’d go all out to decoratefor holidays. And nicely done too, not just like those people who throw as much shit asthey can on the lawn, and call it decoration. But I’ve been so busy with “stuff” lately,that decorating just hasn’t gotten done. The last 2 years I decorated for halloween ONhalloween night. Same goes for christmas last year. I’m sure the baby(s) will like thepretty lights on the house, and a tree that they can either knock over themselves..or watchthe cats knock over for them.
Tonight, I checked the odometer on the truck, and I’ve broken the 100 mile driven point. Hopefuly, anything that should have broke because of the accident would have already. Gotta gut the firebird, and prep it to be sold. Ths mean uninstalling my mp3 stereo, andreinstalling the old one the car came with. Installing stereos is very easy in aFirebird....Im not looking forward to figuring out how to get the truck dash apart toreplace it. I’d keep the old’s pretty nice, but for some reason, the rear speakersdon’t work anymore, it doesn’t have an AUX in for the dvd player I want to install, andno pre-amp outs for amplifiers. I’ve not had a decent sound system in my vehicle forover a year they just weren’t reliable. No use spending time and effortinstalling, only to have the car go KAPUT. The truck seems dependable though. I crave the clear, loud , powerful system I had before. It will, one day, regain it’s glory. And weshall all THUMP!

The house is starting to come together, but is still in shambles. I mentioned earlier thatwe are rearranging everything. The final layout should be much better than the previousway. Just a matter of moving everything somewhere else, to move something else to it’snew place. Major pain the the ass.

HEALTH NEWS: I had hoped that my back pain would have gone completely away, butit still lingers. I pulled my cyatic (sp?) nerve the first day I was redecorating. Not nearlyas back as the first time I pulled it. I think I posted about that time. Last time, I stood up,and screamed out like an Orc with a mortal would. I started swearing in some languagethat even I didnt think I knew. This time, however, it was just annoying. I could’t carrythe baby at all, or lift Darth Logan. When I coughed, my back would (and still does, to apoint) shoot forward, making me lose my balance. I could go to jujitsu class, andperform rolls, but if I tried to get off the at floor 1 or 2 particular angles...OUCH! Theheating pad I used did wonders, and now it’s just an annoyance that reminds me of it’spresence every few hours. (Unlike those damn collectors, who are still haunting me forpayment on those credit cards.)
Today, at the wifes request, I went to her school and performed as Santa. She is a specialeducation teacher for younger kids, and always gets them a little something for santa togive them. We brought along the mini dark lords, and got a few nice pic of them, I mean Santa. At least them tell me the pics are nice...they are still in the camera.

DOJO NEWS: Tonight was another neat night at the dojo. The married couple will test for their yellowbelt on Wednesday (and unfortunately, I have a Santa job booked, and can’t attend thetest). We reviewed all their stuff for yellow, and my stuff for orange (although I’m nottesting till after the new year.) Wednesday’s test is just for them. Found out after classthat the wife is dropping out. She hasn’t told the sensei yet. Looks like, very shortly,it’llbe only the husband and I in the class. And the occasionsal “think I’ll show up for classthis month” student or two. Considering that he’s pretty smart, and that at this level ,things are pretty basic, I’m thinking that it should be rather easy (regardless of our rank),for him to pick up what Im learning, and we’ll be on the same level. So far, no word ontesting fees. Have to wait and see if the evil empire wants to try and get in on that bycharging a big testing fee.

After the JJ class, I went over to the Kung Fu class, which had only 2 kids in it tonight. They left early, and shortly aftger I joined them, leaving only the sifu and I to train. Hecommented that he really liked the 1 on 1 time that he had, and how it always seemed tobe with me. He said that he enjoyed having me as a student. This was very flattering. And welcomed, since I was starting to feel like an outsider. He shinted that as we start toprogress in Lohan (closed fist fighting) , that we may begin to do weapons. The Lohanfist method is very similar to weapons method, so once you learn the proper way to moveyour fists, you can simply put a weapon in them, and perform the same moves. Sweet!

LOOKING BACK: Wow - 34 yrs. I’ve been a McDonalds closer and crew chief, a theatre ticket taker, a bouncer for nightclubs and big concerts, a state certified police officer, an exotic male dancer, a covert government narcotics operative, ran my ownmale dancer group, DJ’ed as a country western bar, organized a team of female jello wrestlers, been a child and family therapist, received a BS in Psychology and Criminial Justice, a masters in Counseling, became an ordained minister, started my own enteratinment company, perfomed magic shows at city events, been officially thrown out (and later reinstated) of 2 colleges for misunderstandings, a martial artists.... at any given moment, I could get a phonecall, and be on my way to do a magic show, a singing telegram, anElvis impersonation, a moonwalk guy, a dj, a superhero, a joker (jester), or any of a number of cartoon characters. But I have to say that next to my wedding to my best friend (my wife...I know that can sound so gay intodays climate), the birth of my children gave me the best title that I ever could have asked for. And the most interesting ( and sometimes terrifying ) job I’ve ever had before. Looking back over the last 34 yrs, if anyone were to stop me today and say “what have you been doing?”, or “who are you now?”..I’d have to say

“I’m a DAD!”

Good Night All

“Happy birthday to me....Happy birthday to ME..”

Monday, December 13, 2004

Greetings from the Looney Bin!

Haven’t posted lately for a few resons.....the computer has been moved to the attic, and itgets damn cold up here. Everytime I think that I can slip away for some net surfing, oneof the 2 Dark Lords awakens. Also, Im still using this damn stardard keyboard, and ithurts my fingers to type.
TRUCK AND HEARSE NEWS: The Blazer is running very well so far. The batteryhas started to make a weird hissing noise at times, so I think I’d better swap it out withthe one form the Firebird soon. Gas here has dropped (at some stations) to $1.50 agallon. It was around $2. Now that I got some cash from the weekend, I’ll have to fill upthe tank of the black hearse, and start putting it to use.

WORK NEWS: Actually had some work this weekend. I got to go onto the Navy Base(moonwal job) for a helecopter squadrons Xmas party. It was held in thehangar, withabout 5 or 7 blackhawk looking choppers next to us. Santa even arrived by air. Verysweet. I can’t wait till Logan and Lance get old enough to take along on jobs like this. Iwas raised in Cleveland, so seeing big military stuff up close is very exciting for me. Hope they get the same thrill out of it.

BABY NEWS: Darth Lance has been having his moments of complete adorablness. Darth Logan, on the other hand, has been testing my patience beyond anything I had everexpected. I find that sometimes, Im losing my patience with him. He starts to cry, and Istart to feel like the worlds biggest jackass. This “terrible 2’s “ age is hard on both of us. I must establish boundries for him, but am having a hard time balancing thisresponcibility with the with remembering that he’s still just a baby. I hate to raise myvoice to him, but I also dont want him to be 16, walking all over me, and think “Wheredid I lose control?”. And it’s only goign to get harder in a short while. The wife goesback to work, and I’ll have both of them to contend with. A 2 yr old that likes to pushthe envelope, and a 3 month old that only wants mommy. I’m soooo screwed. If I canjust coordinate nap-times...I may have some hope for sanity.

Martial Arts News: Classes have been going pretty well. Been feeling distant lately. The jujitsu class doesn’t seem as warm as it was....which has a lot to do with myperception of the fellow student. After they blew off my offer for free equipment, I justhaven’t felt much like bonding with them. To make matters worse, I really DO want tobe there for their yellow belt test, but just saw that the Wednesday test date conflicts witha Santa job I have to do. No employees to pass it off on, plus it is a repeat customer thatonly wants me. I feel bad at not being able to show my support for fellow students. Ihope that it is not interpreted as anything more than the bad scheduling it is.Regarding the Kung Fu, it has it’s enlightening moments. The sifu has started to showme a bit more of Leopard style (at my request). The leopard style really tends to “play”with opponents. I just hope that, when the occasion happens, that I will have enoughskill to “play” with an opponent, and not just go for a deadly strike outright. In themovies, they can land 5 or 6 shots each, to test each other. In real life, it may be over in 2 hits. I revere the snake style for it’s deadlyness. Hopefully, I can blend that with theleopard’s playfulness, and end up with a defense style that can both test, play, and/oreliminate the opponent as I see fit.**I went on Ebay and bought a flexible staff. I’ve trained with a solid one, but the Sifuhas shown some really neat things that are possible if the weapon were to bend. If thingsgo well, I’m going to ask him to side-train me with the flexible staff. I’ve been searchingthe internet (and Bearshare) for movie that show the Shaolin monks performing staffforms. I figure this way, if he is unwilling , or more likely, we can’t find time to trainwith it, I can at least start leaning some of the differences by watching the movies.

Well..that’s about it for now. Any quesions? Just ask in the comment section.

PS My Birthday is coming up on the 14th!

Wednesday, December 08, 2004


Ok My first blog entry that's been first typed into a word prosessing program. In all honesty - the problem I had last night wasn't any fault of the blog sites. It was because ofbad reception on the WIFI system I'm using. We’re rearraning the entire house - and my“office” is getting moved up to the attic (finished attic). Until I can run the necessaryCat5 cable up here, it was easier to just use the wireless receiver. Easier, of course, untillthe dropped signal resulted in 30 minutes of typing disappearing like some magic trick.

**Small note to MicroSoft : When you want to delete all the files in the COOKIES folder,what the hell’s with that INDEX.dat file? The very existance of this file makes itimpossible to simply SELECT ALL, and then DELETE.

I have more to write about the complimentary movements I’m discovering betweenjujitsu and kung fu, but Im still cursed with this standard keyboard. I have huge hands,and typing on a standard board makes my fingers hurt! So I won’t be as long winded asusual.(Yeah - right..)

******Celebrated Darth Logan’s 2nd birthday party on Dec 2nd. Invited all the family to PizzaHut, and had a really cute spiderman cake. It was a spiderman face, but the cake wasmade up of cupcakes, whcih made serving much easier than having to cut up a cake.

****Darth Lance is getting cuter by the day.

***The truck still runs, and I have been so broke that I can’t afford gas for the hearse. Really hurtin for money. Usually have tons of Santa work by now, but only havfe a fewjobs lined up. The wife even had to pay the $50 for the baby’s party...that was a bitbelittling for me. But - I have a few jobs booked for the weekend, so soon, I won’t be asbroke.

****Well....time to cut and paste this so ya’ll can read it..

Monday, December 06, 2004


I just spent a half hour writting a blog entry...about my sons 2nd birthday party, martial artws, and other stuf....and when I tried to publish it, the internet sonnection was lost, and so was all that I wrote!


Wednesday, December 01, 2004

In response to a comment

Wow....In pouring open my soul for a brief moment, I didnt mean to offend or get anyone pissy. By "tween" I mean that annoying age of 11-13 (even ranging into the actual "teen" ages of 13-19). Those ages when every little thing that happens to you means the world is, like, totally going to end. Or, more adultly put, an overemphasis on self, an exaggerated emotion investment on how the outside world effects you, and thinking that the entire planet is focused only on you (how you dressed, if your hair was messy, if your boyfriend brought you a pink rose instead of the red one ..bla bla bla). I'd hardly consider a 24 yr old woman, with an adorable little girl a "tween". I enjoy reading your entries (. appreaciate you leaving the cyber door open, to share your experiences with others. I can almost sound like a joke at first.."Have you heard this one? What do a 34yr old martial artist stay at home dad, a 24 yr old mother, and a heartbroken kid have in common?" There's no punch line....the answer is that we can all share each others experiences..and maybe make a better day from having done so.

Back to daily stuff: Darth Logan is spending a few hours over the motherinlaws house. Plan to go over in a few hours to have an early dinner there, before karate. Monday, I was the only student to show up to the jujitsu class. I had lots of quality time with the sensei. The Kung Fu class was kinda slack...hopefully, it'll be a good class tonight. I dont want to sound bragging, or boastful, but because I've had prior training, have lots of time to dedicate TO training now, and am at an age when I have both the experience of hindsight to benefit from, as well as the drive to do SOMETHING to prevent atrophy (stasis), I need a challenge to get me motivated. Someone my own skill level to train with..someone to give me a run for my money. So far, with the exception of the teachers, Ive yet to find anyone at this dojo that is my match. I knwo Id train harder if this were not the case. I enjoy friendly (constructive) competition. But, if nothing else, going there really is giving me an outlet to kinda regroup from any frustration Im getting from the home life. to clean, find lunch, and discover where the loving wife hid that damn tray of brownies I made last night. I think she's hogging them!!

Slight reflection on someone elses future

I found a blog that kinda caught my interest. As many blogs that are out there, and sorry to say, most of em suck. Badly written, topics I could't give a rats rear about, and so on. TONS by little tween, whining and bitching about friends who weren't friendly, people who were mean to them, and how much love sucks cause they got shit on by "the one". I gave up a profession as a child and family therapist (and a couples counselor) when I encountered the worst thing that I could have imagined...I stopped wanting to hear about other people problems....when they weren't honestly willing to work to fix them. Got a problem? Want my help? I'll help. But don't waste my time going through the motions half assed. Anyways, seeing all of the tween blogs reminds me of how these kids will grow up to be adults, with the same "waaa" attitude. blog struck me as somehow different. Brian ( stated that he created his blog to find vent emotional frustration. When I saw the title "Eternal Winter Solstice", it took me back to 1988. MY Eternal Winter Solstice. I had had girlfriends before, and had been a bit emotion when I got broken up with (worth noting, I've only broke up with 1 girlfriend -we stayed friends- all the others dumped me). But Stacy Lee Dick was a horse of a different color. She was pretty, she was charming, a tom boy, and most notable to how she stole my heart....she was my first. Anyone who says that there is nothing special about your "first" either had a horrible experience, or is a liar. I was a senior, and on top of the world. President of the German CLub, just came back from being an exchange student to Berlin, academic diploma soon to be in hand, had the best friends a guy could ask for, college bound, and the girl of my dreams. The magical shit hit the reality fan right before prom. (I forgot to mention...I lived in Virginia, and she lived in New Hampshire). Long distance relationship. Anyways, she dumped me before my prom, and my world fell apart. All my plans ...gone. I was heartbroken. Not to mention dateless to the prom. I wanted (after the breakup) to walk into prom with the most beautiful, vivascious(SP?) woman I could find. I wanted to be Anthony Michael Hall from Weird Science...I just needed to find Kelly Lebrock (OR Tawny Kitain from the Whitesnake video). All the babes I found weren't interested in a Don Johnson Miami Vice) wannabe. I went through a hopeless search (even had a friend named Kim try and set me up with this cute little blond..she sounded interested, until she saw a picture of me..then she avoided me for the rest of the skool year. I still dont get that one). Anyways....I overlooked a really nice girl..a female friend that was in our grouop. She was nice, but not WOW enough for the imafge I wanted to portray. We'll come back to her later.

I approach the prettiest, most non-obtainable girl I could find....she knew of me from friends....and asked her (this level of humility was a last ditch effort. I never expected her to say was kind of a kamakazi thing). She said she'd love to . Turns out, she was a junior, had a boyfriend, and had DEMANDED that he take her to the prom. He told her "I cant..I dont go to yoru skool, and your not a senior". But..she was a biotch. (OF course, I find all this out after.....) Anyways, we go to prom, and all is well, until i ask her to dance....she says she can't cause she promised her boyfriend she wouldn't . I'm like "boyfriend??". So this bitch (Shila) and this other plotting bimbo (Fabronia), both who used a senior to get in the door, go runningff together to party at prom. Senior prom....both of them juniors. What a bitch. Still gets me mad, even to this day.

That night...I lost it. It was at a hotel on the Virginia Beach ocean front. I was in a white After Six tux, with tails, and ended up on the boardwalk. There was a fog that night, and it looked as if unicorns were going to just run onto the beach..right out of the water. I snapped. I mentally lost it for a while....just sat there and cried. A sailor (big navy town here) was walking with some friends. He was dressed in the crackerjack styled uniform. He told his friends to go ahead..and he sat with me for a while. Thinking back....I cant remember for how long....but it was for long enough. We talked as though we were old friends. I talked...he listened, then he'd say something to make me feel better. TO THIS DAY, I think he was an angel. Just like the song "Angels amoung us". I never knew his name..and never got the chance to say Thank You. The next day, I arrived early to work (McDonalds), and was listening to my Heart tape. The song "Nobody Home" came on, and it was as if she was singing to me directly.

Heart - Nobody Home Lyrics
Don't run too fast
Like a shot from a gun
Don?t jump too high
And knock out the sun
Don't stray too far
Out on your own
When you finally come knocking
When you finally come knocking
There'll be nobody home
Nobody home
Don't pull too hard
Like a kite in the wind
You;ll break the string
When I reel you in
Don;t take off flying
All on your own
When you finally come knocking
When you finally come knocking
There'll be nobody home
Nobody home
You say you?re feeling locked inside
Stuck inside to stay
You wanna fly away
There's nothing I can do
To help you make your play
Make your getaway
Don't dream too wild
And shoot for the moon
Don't ride your heart
Like a balloon
Don't blow away
To places unknown
Cause when you finally coming knocking
When you finally come knocking
There'll be nobody home
Nobody home
Don't run too fast
Like a shot from a gun
Don't jump too high
And knock out the sun
Don't stray too far
Out on your own
Cause when you finally come knocking
When you finally come knocking
There'll be nobody home
Nobody home
When you finally come knocking
When you finally come knocking
There'll be nobody home
Nobody home
When you finally come knocking
When you finally come knocking
There'll be nobody home
Nobody home

At that moment, I lifted the fog from myself, decided to have a better outlook, and got on with my life. It was slow going....but it was steady. I still find myself thinking back to Stacy from time to time. I miss the good times...the feeling I had when we were together. I guess I always will. What I hope Brian will take away from this post, if he reads it, is that you're not alone in feeling the winter. We've all been cold at sometime in our lives. It's rough...and can overtake you. But the only way to be able to look back and laugh is to move beyond it. Be able to look back.....dont get stuck there. It's ok to laugh at's ok miss how you felt when you were with her. It's ok to have placed roofing nails under Shila's tires, so that she'd flatten all four when she backed out of her driveway the next morning. (that last staement was hypothetical, of course...purely hypothetical).

Oh..and that little tomboy, female friend that was a member of our little "group", ..the one I blew off ( had I have brought her to prom, we'd have had fun...honest, clean, 2 kids who liked each other, who could make each other laugh, fun). I never forgave myself for not taking here. Shortly after I got my act together (winter ended and my spring began), I asked her out on a date. And we dated for quite a while. From 1989-present. We got married in 2000, and now have a 2 yr old and a 2 month old.
Oh, I gotta wrap this up....the brownies I'm making to suprise her with just "dinged". Off to the kitchen. Thanks to anyone who hung in there to the end of this sad blog. Come on over....brownies are on me.
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