Adventures of Darth Daddy

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

A HA !!!

No, not the 80's group, I sat in the thrown of richteousness.

Today, the MIL was coming over to take Logan for the day. This gives him some "out of the house" experiences, as well as gives Lance and I time to bond. Not 10 minutes before her arrival time, Logan and I went outside and determined that it was very cold. Nippy. When the boy and the MIL went to leave, I put Logan in a nice warm winter coat, and a stocking hat. MIL told me that it wasn't THAT cold outside. I reflected her usualy demeanor with "Well, my must have really warmed up in the last 10 minutes..since we were just out there." He kept the hat and the coat on. She asked for a lighter coat in case that one became too bulky. I obliged.

Lance and I headed off to shop for Logan for Christmas, and after a few hours, returned home to snag some milk. Wife was home early, and we went to another shopping place together (all three of us). As we are walking past the entrance/exit part, Im in the middle of telling my wife what a nut job I thought her mother was...MIL just got rid of a 2 week long cold, and here it is 50 degrees, and she's telling me that I,overdressing my kid...and who should come out of the got it! MIL and Logan. He at least had his hat on, but had neither jacket on. We had a bit of a ceremonial reading of the riot act. FINALLY caught her in the act of doing something dumb! In front of the wife.
Mind you, the boy still had on a warm long sleeved sweatshirt, but that's not the point.

If the boy has as much as a sniffle tomorrow, as God (which ever one you, the reader recognize) as my witness, they'll never hear the end of it.
Ok,,that's a bit harsh...but let's just say I'll milk it for all its worth.

As they say, NO ONE watches your kids like YOU do. In this case, not even grandmas

Can't type's freezing up here in the attic.

I did want to tell about some neat finds I got today. Logan has his heart set on this $50 drum set from the toy store. It's electronic, and has a mic and a keyboard. It's about $40 too much. But, I got an ad today from Roses (poor mans KMart around here), and they have a similar one (no keybaord..but he already had a full sized keyboard) for only $20. I alsi picked up some more stocking hats for $1 each...and some fleece 1 piece pajamas for both the boys at $2.50 each.

Still gotta figure out what to get the wife for Xmas. Maybe some rose colored glasses? (HEHEHEHEHEHE) nose it freezing now from this cold air.

Have a Happy Turkey Day!!

Shannon and Family

Sunday, November 20, 2005

This is what Im up against

Anymore, a typical conversation with my wife goes like this:

Let me set the scene. We've just left church, the oldest boy is hungry (as am I), and the youngest is about to fall asleep, but may want food soon too. We decide to stop off at Wendys before going home. In the middle of the van is a coolerbag. It has in it a sippy cup of milk for the baby.

Me: Hey, what should we do with the bag?
Wife: It has the baby's milk in it.
Me: Are we taking it in? I know that we are out of food jars, so there's none packed for him.
Wife: Well, as soon as he sees us eating normal food, he'll want some of ours, so don't worry about it.

Me: So, do we bring it or not?
Wife: I have milk in THIS SIPPY CUP right there, and a second cup just in case. (She points to the sippy cup in the bag...that Im holding).
Me: I know what the hell a sippy cup looks like, and I can tell all by myself which one has milk in it (and which one is empty). What the hell do you want me to do with it? Bring it in?
Or leave it in the car for later?
Wife: I already told you...bring it in (feel free to reread the'll notice that not once did she ever tell me to bring it in. That was my original question..instead of an answer, I get a story, an idiots show and tell about what a sippy cup looks like, and a lesson on how to determine which of 2 identical items contains a liquid, and which contains only air).

Me: You never said one way or the other

Wife: That was the first thing I told bring it in.

Me: Ok said it, I was ignorant and wasn't listening to you. It MUST be my fauilt, cause I KNOW Im the one who's always wrong.

Wife: (Just a disgusted look on her face.)

Me: (No further comment...but I felt like saying ' No need to start a fight...I wasn't going to ask for sex tonight anyways')

We go inside the Wendy's and she acts like it never happened. But then the moron behind the counter asks for it. I order a burger, and ask that they not overcook the meat. I don't like my meat chargrilled..If I can throw it at you , and kill you, you have burned it.

Me: I'd like a piece of meat that isn't over cooked please.
Manager: (dumb blank look)
Me: Not burnt please.
Manager:, you see the grill is already set to a certain temperature.
Me: And??
Manager: They meat gets cooked all the same way.
Me: Bullshit. You have a grill, and someone who is going to set a spachula on the meat and press it like the HULK, thereby squishing it to death , and overcooking it. Don't let em do it. How do ya'll say it?...."NO CHILE MEAT"
Manager: Same dumb look.
Me: Do what you're gonna do.
Manager: You mean the single (burger)?
Me: Nah, I meant the Frosty. Please don't burn the frosty. Of COURSE I meant the burger! What the hell else were we just talking about??

The food ended up being very good..neither the meat OR the Frosty was overcooked.

We get home, and I plan on taking Logan out back and making a fire. I have a pile of branches and leaves that needs to go, and I told him we'd go out back and make big hot fire. He was thrilled. But he forgot. He starts taking off his shoes. I tell him to leave them on, but he strips anyways. No biggie. It's about 8:30-9pm, and haven't not had a nap today, I figure he'll be asleep in a matter of a few minutes.

He stayed up till 11pm. Hung right in there till the credits of the Harry Potter movie that we were watching. And he wouldn't lay on the couch with the wife...he wanted to lay on the floor with me. By 11, I was hungry again, and still needed to set the Pile'o'leaves ablaze outback.

The very minute that Logan falls asleep (and the wife has been asleep for some time now), the baby wakes and and starts crying. I leave Logan on the floor and get the baby. I rock the baby back to sleep, then go transfer Logan to his bed.

I spend about an hour or less outback with the burned, I got board, so I hosed the embers and came inside. The second that I get to the kitchen, the baby cries again. THis time, the wife got up to get him, but she brings him back to the livingroom and lays with him on the couch. The light from the kitches shines directly ON the couch, so I'm screwed to making something to eat.

A Yahoo dads group that I belong to has a member with a unique tag line at the bottom of all of his emails. "The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother". I hope there's more to it than that. Try cuddling with a porquipine, and you'll see what I'm up against. Maybe I should get a TV made that says " No, I don't get any...she'd rather kiss a Wookie".

At my wedding ceremony, I remember a part that said " Till death do us part". Does that mean when I'm dead, I'm free to date?


Saturday, November 19, 2005

Letters from Santa Claus

Because I dress up in costumes (for work) throught the year, my oldest boy thinks that he has the best dada in the whole world. After all, he thinks Im Darth Vader, Spiderman, Batman, and ....Santa!
Thinking of me as Santa (the REAL one) has created some problems. He is reluctant to visit with other Santas (like MAll santas), because he thinks they are fake. Not even 3, and already he can see right thru them. Another year, or so, and I'll try to sit him down and explain the concept of "independant contractor" to him. That there is a real Santa, and I just work for him. But, in the meantime....dada is the Hoho man.

Which brings me to why I wanted to write this post. There is an address (I'll include it at the bottom) where you can send letters FROM Santa, and have them remailed with a North Pole Post mark. For the brain challenged (like anyone with kids around this time of year) , let me further explain.

1. You write a letter to you child, and write it from the perspective of Santa.
2. You stick it an an envelope, seal and put a stamp on it.
3. You address this envelope with YOUR ADDRESS.
4. Then, you get a bigger envelope. You stick the first envelope (addressed to your child) in this bigger one, and mail it to the address below.

When they receive it, they will open the big envelope, and remail your Santa Letter (to your child), and it will have a special North Pole post mark on it when it arrives at your house.

The cost, you ask? 2 postage stamps. One for the big envelope, and the other for your childs envelope..that's all.

Oh, and remember to set the return address of your child's letter as The North Pole. And it would't hurt to splurge on some decent stationary...but dont leave the extra laying around for the kids to find. If your kids are young, print it at home. If they are cunning and know your type set on your printer, print it at work, or have a friend hand write the letter.

DEADLINE: Must be received AT THE NORTH POLE by December 15th.

Official USPS Website: Santa Letters

5400 Mail Trail, Fairbanks, Alaska

Merry Christmas to all.


Thursday, November 17, 2005

I should have wrote this earlier


How shoudl I put this? This movie, my dear children, sucks ass. I can't figure out if Depps portrayal of Wonka is gay or just lame. WHen they do closeups, I keep thinking he is an illigitemate sister of Velma (from the Scooby Do movies). The Umpa Loopma songs are lame. THe movie, as a whole, was a mahor disappointment.

I realize tat this movie is supposed to more closely follow the book than the original with Gene Wilder. Wonka is not suppose to simply be eccentric..he's supposed to have some serious mental issues. Depp shows this alright. But he's not likable. I loved the original because of hos likable Winder made the character. He talks to himself (as many of us with kids often do), and seems so matter of fact with things that seems "weird " to others. Depp just seemed weird...not intriuging....just weird.

Any of you SAHD's that havent bought this one yet...I'd stay clear of it. It didn't even hold my kids interest. And these are kids that are GLUED to the TV for the Wizard of Oz and Fantasia.

SPEAKING OF FANTASIA: I put the newer version in the dvd playyer, so the kids would have something to watch while I made them lunch, and it has become ( in the last 4 days) a demanded classic. The Sorcerors Apprentice and the Raphsody in Blue episodes are the favorites (the mine and the kids). What makes me the most happiest is that when we go out, and hear music, I ask Logan if he can "see" the pictures that the music is makign in his hear. He starts to tell me all sorts of stories about whatever he "sees". He's really got his imaginiation in gear.

BOOGER KING AND STAR WARS TOYS: The closest Burger King to us sucks. They have 2 black female mamagers that are ALWAYS there, ALWAYS on the register, and ALWAYS a bitch to my family and me. I really think they are racist. THey are nicer to other black customers, and seem bothered when we show up. THis is in part because of Star Wars toys. The slogan is "Collect them all", and we tried to. But these bitches were hoarding the Darth Vaders for themselves. And when I'd ask to see which toys they had this week, they acted like I was holding up a funeral procession. Mind you, there are only 4 toys at a time, so were not talking about rifling thru 20 different choices. Recently, to go along with the DVD release, BOOGERKING is giving 17 new SW toys away with Crappy Meal purchases. So again, I had to do battle with the assholes. BUt, after throwing a tantrum in their lobby, I finally got passed off to a worker (who found 2 Vaders in the box, and got us the other 2 that were new that week).

I went to a different Bk, and this one had a young white kid at the register. I thought that was a good sign..guess again. Lazy comes in all colors. I asked if they had any more Vaders (I know.I have 2 for each kid...but I wanted one for me too!). He said they were all gone. I asked which ones they had, and he said he didnt know. I made him look. (no one in line behind me...Im th eonly customer in the store....not like he has anyone else to wait on). He plops down 4 that I already have. I tell him "I have those already". He says "Dude....are you serious?!", like it was some painstaking effort for him to reach in a box and take out 4 toys! I figure Im out of luck, but he thinks that I want him to look more. He grabs the box, reaches in, grabs a middle divider board, and dumps about 50 toys onto the floor. He made an uneccesary mess, but in the process, reavealed the last hiding Darth Vader!! Hurray for ME!!!. I got that and a watch for the boy (for Xmas).

That was 2 days ago. Today , the boy wants to go back for more toys. I don't want to go to the racist BK, so we went to a 3rd one. This store was more expensive, so we left there, and went back to the "white guy" BK. TUrns out they had ANOTHER Vader..and 4 new toys (on of which the boy has been wanting the most.....Kit something...a weird alien Jedi with a green face and big eyes). So, the force was with us once again. Of course, all these Bk trips arent doign much for my "lose weight" campaign, but I figure it's a sacrafice for the kids.
**and I got my friggin Vader!!!**


Wednesday, November 16, 2005

1 2 3 4

I just looked at my counter at the bottom of the page, and it said 1234. Pretty cool.

Not much today. The wife took off from work for a Dr visit. She's been really tired lately, and says she just cant shake whatever bug she's caught. Much to my suprise (and satisfaction), she came home with a prescription for anti-depressants. Ive been telling her for a while that she needs to do something about how bla she's been. Now if I can just get her on that stuff that increases sex drive.

The boys are still working on getting rid of their colds, so not much going on here.

Monday, November 14, 2005


Im watching MSNBC and it's driving me nuts! How long can Rita Cosby go before having a really big "haking up a lung" cough to clear her throat? Or is her voice the result of 4 packs a day?

Today (Sunday) was a nice day. Started off a little rough though. Just hung out around the house for most of the mouring. The boys are still dealing with colds, so no big plans were made. Logan wanted to go to a local resteraunt (called Logan's Roadhouse....which he calls" MY Roadhouse"). But after 2 temper tantrums, that idea was booted in favor of a quick Sonic run. Sonic sucked, so after a phone call, we headed back to Sonic...had our order Re-filled and got some "free meal" coupons.

The rest of the day was much nicer. I went outside to work on the fence (still in the "put it up/concept " stage. Logan wanted to help, so he came along. He hammered things....he helped move wood, dug holes with his "Logan sized", we had a blast. We worked on the fence together, without any fussing ot tantrums, for well over 3 hours. I only got 2 sections installed, but it was well worth it.

Logan seems quite taken with one of those kids sized plastic houses (for outside). One at ToysR Us had a hose with a gas pump end on it. Im SOO happy that Christmas is coming up. Anything "My want that, da" gets met with "Gonna have to tell Santa about that".

Lance is cruising more....and chatting up a storm. I know he just turned 1, but it still catched me by suprise when I blink and he's GONE. He can haul when he wants to. And so much aware of whats going on around him. We got him to sign "food" and "more". Logan has been good about reinforcing his signing.

Today, Lance and Logan both made their way into their room to play. They were WAY to quiet, so I peeked in to see what was going on. They were sitting together sharing a big pile of blocks. Logan was trying to show Lance how to stack...and Lance was showing Logan how to demolish a stack of blocks. I know that life hold conflicts and rough times for everyone, but when they aren't getting along, or when trouble comes between them, I hope they will always remember moments like this.....when nothing else mattered...not girls, or friends, or politics...nothing but brothers sharing a moment.


Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Need your tv viewing help

There's a hair care product commercial on tv lately, with a HOT actress/model in it. Caucasion, dark (maybe black) hair, past shoulder length, wavy...

She looks like a mix between Paula Abdul and Rachael Weiss.

Her last name has the letters "noun" in it (I think)

I want to do a Google search for her pic, but cant recall her name. And the damn commercial hasn't been on in a week!

Anyone have a clue?

Monday, November 07, 2005

We gots the sniffles

Both the boys have colds, which makes sleeping somewhat difficult.

Got a certified letter today from my "old" dojo....they are threatening me with legal action if I dont bring my "tuition" up to date (currently $280). I thought they had released me from my contract, with less than a year to go on it. This may get ugly, but ain't no way in hell Im paying anymore money to Kindercare for dojo fees. I figure if they aren't nice and dissolve the remaining obligation, I have one hell of a case against them for fraud. Advertising arts that they dont offer - poorly trained instructors, canceled classes, the list goes on and on. With them claiming to be a "non profit" org, I figure one nicely worded "I can no longer donate to your cause" should be fine. The sympathy card is in play - if that fails, good to know that I got 2 more in the hole.


Sunday, November 06, 2005

Random Thoughts

I'm sitting here watching this big Home Make Over show, with Ty, and for the first 10 minutes, Im resenting that the wife got control of the remote before I did. The next 45 minutes Im wondering if any can watch this show without their eyes tearing up like mine are.

Both my boys are a few days into a cold. Runny noses are reaking havok on them. The last few night Lance has woke up around 1 or 2am and cried/screamed for hours. Cant figure out if it's that he has bad gas (we give him gas relief stuf anyways), or an upset tummy, or that his refusals to take longer daytime naps are making it hard for him to sleep. Takes him about 2 hours to get back to sleep. Last night I wasn't sure whether to call a Dr or an exorcist.

A few days ago, Rosa Parks passed away. I wonder if they had to drive the hearse backwards.

If you'll remember, for my anniversary, the wife asked for me to hang up a spice rack above our stove. I asked her to not kil me in my sleep. We just saw a preview for Desperate Housewives, and the actress said "My husband died thinking that I killed him." My wife almost peed herself laughing at that. I got up and installed that goddamned spice rack. Then I reminded her of my gift.

Gotta get check on the boys.....sounds like a lunber mill in there, with all the snoring. Catch ya'l later..


Thursday, November 03, 2005

The good, the bad...and tha ugly old bitch at Chickfila

Today had some tense moments, and some moments that I will carry in my heart till they put me in the ground.

The Bad: Logan has been getting a bit emotional lately. Losing control is mor like it, and over simple things. Today we stayed home all day, and he got al upset over 1 which shirt to wear 2. That I folded a blanket 3. Whether I sat on the floor or the bearn bag. And almost each time, the problem changed..meaing that he'd get upset that I wanted to sit on the bean bag, and then would get even more upset that I DIDNT sit on it. A few times today, I ended up just haing him sit on my lap till he calmed down. Took a few minutes each time, but afterward, it was like a whole new Logan (for a while, at least).

THE GOOD: I burned a cd last night and put it on the stereo. While sitting on the floor, listening to Toad the Wet Sprocket "All I Want", both the boys came over , plopped down in my lap, and wanted to be rocked to the music. Then , we all got up to dance to the Rubberband Man Songs: Logan and I LOVE the Rubberband man from the OfficeMax commecials. The spinners "Rubberband man" is his theme. Logan also thinks that "Supersticious" by Steveie Wonder is also his song, since they both are similar. So, when these songs came one back to back, we all got up and started to really jam. Logan shaking his booty....Lance laughing at both dad and big brother. We had a blast. Next was PHYSICAL by my first love Olivia Newton John". I danced like the video, and both of them just rolled on the ground in laughter as I made an ass of myself for their amusment. After a minute, Logan said "No dance that song dadda".

THE UGLY OLD BITCH FROM CHICKFILA: We went to a newly renovated Chickfila by our house. Nice playground. Logan was playing with some other kids, one of which was a 3 or 4 yr old little girl. They jockeyed for position once when going up the playset. Seemed innnocent enough. THe little girl as just as much an instigator as Logan was. Kids play..thats what they do. A few minutes later, on the ground level, Logan hugs the little girl, and they fall over. The little girl starts FREAKING OUT...I mean full scale panic attack. Crying, screaming at the top of her lungs..the works. Her grandma comes in and starts yelling at all us parents. She started yelling that my kid TACKLED her precious little princess, and then rushed out to the seating area and disappeared. Didnt think much of it. Next thing I know, the girl is back in the play area.....Logan and her are on the second level and she is fuckin losing her mind! She's screaming and wailing 10 times worse that the ground floor insident. I call for Logan, and he doesn't answer. I get worried, and start to head up (with Lance at my side). The girl comes down the steps....Logan comes down the slide. Logan is red in the face, but he was that way from playing.
The girl has snot running down her face, drool pouring down her mouth..the por thing was obviously disturbed. Again, grandma storms in, and demands to know (from us parents who were in there) what had gone on. Nobody knew...nobody could have, cause you cant see the 2nd level. I make Logan get his shoes on for not coming when I called him, and told him it was time to eat. A few minutes later, we get in line, and in the process of ordeing our food, grandma from hell pushs her was thru the lines and starts trying to chew me a new ass. "Do YOU KNOW WHAT THAT LITTLE BRUTE DID TO HER??". I go: "Umm.....nope, and neither do you, since you didnt see it either". I check Lance in the stroler being me, and get Logan beind me too. She tells me that Logan hit her in the face. Ok - within the relm of posibility...but hardly likely. My son likes to hug tighly...and to jump up and down in front of kids, but is not a bruiser that punches little girls in the face. She tells me that my kid need to be beaten.. I tell her that maybe her little girl need some emotional support and to stop making up stories for attention. This old bitch then actually says "Maybe I shoudl kick your ass". I was stunned for a second. I said" Lady, Im over 200 lbs...your over 200 years old.....what the hell do you think would happen?". She tells me that she's going to get her son to kick my ass. I tell her to have him bring friends, and a lawyer, cause after the display Id make of them, they are all getting sued. All the while, shes holding the girl..I thought this bitch has GOT to be nuts.

I was going to get my food to go, but decided to demonstrate a few thing to my sons......

1. That daddy aint afraid of a damn thing....especially being bullied by some 140 year old woman.

2. How to remain calm enough to eat dinner calmly, even after an insident like that.

3. If need be, how to perform multiman defense in a closed setting, while not damaging my styrofoam cup, ther eby making a free refill impossible.

Old bitch gets on her phone....we eat at a normal pace....I got out of Logan taht the little girl was being mean to him, and that she pushed him.. He, of course, pushed back, and the girl went apeshit. She hit HIM , flailing her arms and legs at him, and of course, he didnt just walk away, but started yelling at her, furthering her fit. He said that she actually hit him, not the other way around. He called her "mean little girl".

No posse ever came for me....mean little girls mother showed up, and sat with the old bat, but never came over. I'd have gladly invited her to sit down to discuss what may have happened. I was calm, well fed, and waiting for their next move.

Unwilling to leave well enough alone, after grandmas telling the entire store how horrible we were, when we leave, the mother comes to the window and stares at me loading the boys in the truck. I figure this broad is gettign my tag number or something, so I upped the ante.....I called the police. I explained how the grandma had threatened me , and I wanted to press charges. I admit, I felt really bad when they asked me to describe the perp......Elderly woman, caucasion, abot 70 yrs old, glasses, short grey hair. Felt like I was turning in Mrs. Clause.

I watched that old bat like a hawk , and just before the cop rolled up, she disappeared. As I talked with the cop, I didnt see that she went to get the girl from the play area. When the cop asks me if I see her, I thought she had gone home. Cops leaves.....I get in the truck, and the old bat comes out to get into her car. She had the girl with had left a few minutes earlier. I was pissed. I knew there was nothing that the cop could do, but the shock factor of having the cops called on her would have been nice. Had to fight the urge to drive up/by and call her names. Didnt want to do anything in front of the little one.

We will return to this play area. Hope to not run into this old bat again, but if we do, she better be on guard. Forget karate and judo....I'll have my cell phone handy!!


Wednesday, November 02, 2005

"Damn bug...hold still just a second more......." Posted by Picasa

Just try getting in my front door with this alarm system in place!! Posted by Picasa

PEEK !!! Posted by Picasa

Logan pulling Lance in a wagon. Posted by Picasa

Future Beethoven!! Posted by Picasa

Lance dressed up as a dinosaur Posted by Picasa

Logan dressed as Sully from Monsters Inc Posted by Picasa


Imagine my suprise to find that my favorite comedian from Whose Line Is It Anyways (Colin Mochrie) is NOT the voice of Gordon the Garden Gnome (


ps. What ever did I do with my Stomper 4x4's?? One even had a spare set of wheels (one set was rubber- the other set was spongy). THose would be so damn neat for the boys to play with. They are on Ebay for about $15 each. Do they even make these anymore?

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Wish I had more time to blog

If I had a few more hours up here, without a baby crying, I'd have some neat stuff to blog about.

HALLOWEEN: For the first time since we moved into our house (about 6 yrs now), I abandoned the "halloween show" in favor of trickortreating with my little ones. I usually go all out for setup playing either spooky music (or the monster mash when little ones are scared)...I dress up in costumes, pull the hearses up to the front yard, pose skeletons in the cars and put lights in the inside floorboards(to illuminte the skeletons from below, 3 fog machines, 1 gold coffin..the works. This year, I figured now that Logan was almost 3, I wanted to take him door to door. The wife's sister was in town, and she thought it would be better to takes the kids door to door at her parents neighborhood. Rick are (houses start around $500K, and go up to the multi millions). I agreed, and off we went. I even skipped aikido class.

Logan dressed up as a fireman....I dressed up as Sully from Monsters Inc. The disaster was as follows:

House #1 : Lit up like a friggin Christmas tree, but they are out of no one home.

House #2: Porch light on, but no one home.

3rd house: Finally some friggin candy.

4th house: Old lady that was very nice, but invited Logan and I in. She dropped her candy all on the floor, and we had to help her pick it up. This confused Logan, as he now thought that you go IN the houses after ringing the doorbell.

5th house and 6th house: No problems

7th house: My son broke my heart when he turned to me and said "My do, Da. No need help.", and isntructed me to wait at the end of the driveway for him. He walked up to the door like an old pro, rang the bell, asked for candy, then said "youuu" (Thank you) before heading off to the next house. So I am no longer walking up to doors with him, but rather the big ass blue fuzzy lump at the end of the caravan.

The Caravan: Logan and I went door to door, Lance was in the stroller, S.I.L. pushed the stroller, my wife and my MIL came along too. The women folk we in their own little world. (Worth noting is that the inlaws are the President of their Home Owners Association board, and of course, know everyone. La dee dah...the ass to kiss) After Logan got candy, they'd start off down the sidewalk before Logan got back to our group. I was pretty close to him, but he started to yell and cry a few times to "Wait for me" and "No leave me". Of course, they didnt give a shit. They were too busy talking about "those beautiful curtains on that house", and " I like the way that garden is shaped." As if Logan and his first real trickotreating was secondary to their "design" walk. And of course, every goddamned door that Logan stopped at, the MIL had to wave and say "HI there", and chat a bit, and make her queenly presence known.
One time (about the 10th house on our trip), she was so busy chit chatting with the homeowners that she didnt see Logan try to pass her on the sidewalk, and almost bumped him into a 5 ft tall rosebush (with thorns). The wife almost did the same thing a few houses later, and when I bitched at her to watch what the hell she was doing, she blew me off saying "What?! He's fine". He was, but that was not the point. Eventually, the MIL parade ended, and she returned to her own castle. Things got a bit better after that, but by then I was fit to be tied.

BAPTISM on Saturday Night: Well, it's official. The kids are now baptised. The ceremony
was nice, the boys were actually on thier best behavior, and things went well. I'll have pics soon.
OF course, afterwards (the next day at a dinner over the inlas), my mom ws asked "How did things go". Responses could have ranged from Good to Nice, but ohhh no,,,,not with MY mother. She had to go on a crusade about how FINALLY the boys would get to go to heaven if something happened to them. This led to a discussion about the differences between Roman and Byzantine Catholic churches. A discussion, I should add, that she was not knowledgable or prepared enough to start. You ever sit back in disbelief, with your hand on your forehead, and think"Why why why the hell does my parent have to be so embarassing??". I know that I rant over things my imlwas have done or said over the years, but my mother has the damndest nack of doing or saying something that she just shoudl have left alone. I think my asshole-in-law feels the same way about his folks. (my wife's sister's husband). My mom has a bad habit of picking the most trivial thing (that comes to her by email), and deciding that it has to be true. OR, she'll state something as fact, and when confronted with other information, will fall back on"Well, All I know is...", and make it sound like it was just something that she heard.

One thing that really turns me off about organized religions is that they tend to brainwash kids at a young age to believe a certain way. A certain pattern. Rote memorization. I give you this example: Imagine that someone is taught the ABC's. They are recited in order. Then , years later, try to show that they are all letters, and you can say them in ANY order. Like "J,S,O,A,N..." and so forth. THe person agrees, and gives it a try. BUt as soon as they hear "A,B,C", the immediately fall back to the original order, like that's all they know. I wonder if the attraction to religion is that you can follow, and not worry about leading. Much easier to let someone else do the thinking perhaps? Also, age is a relevant factor. As people get older, it's only natural for them to want to believe that there's more for them, even after death.

UHOH...someone is screaming outside, and a door just got slammed......brb..

Well, the kids are still asleep, the doors are locked, and there's no dead body on the lawn, so I guess everything's ok. This used ot be a nice neighborhood. Lots of elderly. Problem is, they are dying off, and all their braindead redneck teen-30something children are moving in. We get a lot more cars racing down the street, screaming from domestic fights, people with pit bulls and rotts....shit like that.

NEXT TOPIC: On Saturday mouring our local zoo had a bit of a festival for kids. Logna dressed up in a little Sully costume, and I wore my big one. After all this time of him being afraid of moonwalks, he finally got in one (without any fussy or being scared.). He asked to go in it, got in without trouble, and bounced his little heart out.

SICK LOGAN- not for the weak of heart: For the last 3 days or so, Logan has been sick, of a sort. He can eat fine, threw up every day. The first time (a few days ago), he blew chunks. The contend had stomache acid, digested and undigested food, and it stunk. I reassured him that it was ok, and that I'd clen it all up, and not to worry. As soon as he was around the corner, heading towards the bathroom, I ended blowing chunks from the smell and the scene. It was not my most glorious moment. But at least there was only one mess to clean BIG ASS MESS..but lets move on.
Ever sicne that day, the throw ups have gotten lesser. The past 2 days, it's more like a "spit up", rather than a throw up. The only thing that he spit up was the last thing he eat..undigested, no acid. We thought we had the culprit pegged as cheese, but today he spit up a bite of french toast stick, and later a hand full of cheerios. He is eating, at least somewhat, so he's getting nutrition. Today, we went to eat when the wife got home, and he had to go potty 5 times in a row..and actually did something each time. By the 3rd time, we were gettign fustrated with himn, thinking it was a game. But them he had runny poop, and we realized that it wasnt his fault. So, first thing tomorrow mourning, it's off to the Dr office we go.

My sister in law is a very sweet girl. She is very ....large framed, however. Not fat..but manly. She has the stride and shoulders of a middle linebacker. WHen she walks, there's no feminine gait about her...rather a manly lumber. She now has her hair cut short and spiky, which on her, looks really nice. The wife decided to get her hair cut this weekend. While not spiky, she cut it so short that I mistook her for her sister from behind (by accident, I assure you). She was walking up our steps, and I called to her sister, only to realize that it was my wife. As if her personality wasn't enough to keep her from getting laid, her hair is scoring no points with me.
On a good note, Logan decided that HE TOO wanted his hair cut. So, we went to Kids Cuts at the mall, and he sat still till the end. ANd, I must say, ended up looking like quite a fine young gentleman when it was done.

Enough for one night. Thanks for all the support from those with sucky inlaws. Good to know that Im not the only one.

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