Adventures of Darth Daddy

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Wish I had more time to blog

If I had a few more hours up here, without a baby crying, I'd have some neat stuff to blog about.

HALLOWEEN: For the first time since we moved into our house (about 6 yrs now), I abandoned the "halloween show" in favor of trickortreating with my little ones. I usually go all out for setup playing either spooky music (or the monster mash when little ones are scared)...I dress up in costumes, pull the hearses up to the front yard, pose skeletons in the cars and put lights in the inside floorboards(to illuminte the skeletons from below, 3 fog machines, 1 gold coffin..the works. This year, I figured now that Logan was almost 3, I wanted to take him door to door. The wife's sister was in town, and she thought it would be better to takes the kids door to door at her parents neighborhood. Rick are (houses start around $500K, and go up to the multi millions). I agreed, and off we went. I even skipped aikido class.

Logan dressed up as a fireman....I dressed up as Sully from Monsters Inc. The disaster was as follows:

House #1 : Lit up like a friggin Christmas tree, but they are out of no one home.

House #2: Porch light on, but no one home.

3rd house: Finally some friggin candy.

4th house: Old lady that was very nice, but invited Logan and I in. She dropped her candy all on the floor, and we had to help her pick it up. This confused Logan, as he now thought that you go IN the houses after ringing the doorbell.

5th house and 6th house: No problems

7th house: My son broke my heart when he turned to me and said "My do, Da. No need help.", and isntructed me to wait at the end of the driveway for him. He walked up to the door like an old pro, rang the bell, asked for candy, then said "youuu" (Thank you) before heading off to the next house. So I am no longer walking up to doors with him, but rather the big ass blue fuzzy lump at the end of the caravan.

The Caravan: Logan and I went door to door, Lance was in the stroller, S.I.L. pushed the stroller, my wife and my MIL came along too. The women folk we in their own little world. (Worth noting is that the inlaws are the President of their Home Owners Association board, and of course, know everyone. La dee dah...the ass to kiss) After Logan got candy, they'd start off down the sidewalk before Logan got back to our group. I was pretty close to him, but he started to yell and cry a few times to "Wait for me" and "No leave me". Of course, they didnt give a shit. They were too busy talking about "those beautiful curtains on that house", and " I like the way that garden is shaped." As if Logan and his first real trickotreating was secondary to their "design" walk. And of course, every goddamned door that Logan stopped at, the MIL had to wave and say "HI there", and chat a bit, and make her queenly presence known.
One time (about the 10th house on our trip), she was so busy chit chatting with the homeowners that she didnt see Logan try to pass her on the sidewalk, and almost bumped him into a 5 ft tall rosebush (with thorns). The wife almost did the same thing a few houses later, and when I bitched at her to watch what the hell she was doing, she blew me off saying "What?! He's fine". He was, but that was not the point. Eventually, the MIL parade ended, and she returned to her own castle. Things got a bit better after that, but by then I was fit to be tied.

BAPTISM on Saturday Night: Well, it's official. The kids are now baptised. The ceremony
was nice, the boys were actually on thier best behavior, and things went well. I'll have pics soon.
OF course, afterwards (the next day at a dinner over the inlas), my mom ws asked "How did things go". Responses could have ranged from Good to Nice, but ohhh no,,,,not with MY mother. She had to go on a crusade about how FINALLY the boys would get to go to heaven if something happened to them. This led to a discussion about the differences between Roman and Byzantine Catholic churches. A discussion, I should add, that she was not knowledgable or prepared enough to start. You ever sit back in disbelief, with your hand on your forehead, and think"Why why why the hell does my parent have to be so embarassing??". I know that I rant over things my imlwas have done or said over the years, but my mother has the damndest nack of doing or saying something that she just shoudl have left alone. I think my asshole-in-law feels the same way about his folks. (my wife's sister's husband). My mom has a bad habit of picking the most trivial thing (that comes to her by email), and deciding that it has to be true. OR, she'll state something as fact, and when confronted with other information, will fall back on"Well, All I know is...", and make it sound like it was just something that she heard.

One thing that really turns me off about organized religions is that they tend to brainwash kids at a young age to believe a certain way. A certain pattern. Rote memorization. I give you this example: Imagine that someone is taught the ABC's. They are recited in order. Then , years later, try to show that they are all letters, and you can say them in ANY order. Like "J,S,O,A,N..." and so forth. THe person agrees, and gives it a try. BUt as soon as they hear "A,B,C", the immediately fall back to the original order, like that's all they know. I wonder if the attraction to religion is that you can follow, and not worry about leading. Much easier to let someone else do the thinking perhaps? Also, age is a relevant factor. As people get older, it's only natural for them to want to believe that there's more for them, even after death.

UHOH...someone is screaming outside, and a door just got slammed......brb..

Well, the kids are still asleep, the doors are locked, and there's no dead body on the lawn, so I guess everything's ok. This used ot be a nice neighborhood. Lots of elderly. Problem is, they are dying off, and all their braindead redneck teen-30something children are moving in. We get a lot more cars racing down the street, screaming from domestic fights, people with pit bulls and rotts....shit like that.

NEXT TOPIC: On Saturday mouring our local zoo had a bit of a festival for kids. Logna dressed up in a little Sully costume, and I wore my big one. After all this time of him being afraid of moonwalks, he finally got in one (without any fussy or being scared.). He asked to go in it, got in without trouble, and bounced his little heart out.

SICK LOGAN- not for the weak of heart: For the last 3 days or so, Logan has been sick, of a sort. He can eat fine, threw up every day. The first time (a few days ago), he blew chunks. The contend had stomache acid, digested and undigested food, and it stunk. I reassured him that it was ok, and that I'd clen it all up, and not to worry. As soon as he was around the corner, heading towards the bathroom, I ended blowing chunks from the smell and the scene. It was not my most glorious moment. But at least there was only one mess to clean BIG ASS MESS..but lets move on.
Ever sicne that day, the throw ups have gotten lesser. The past 2 days, it's more like a "spit up", rather than a throw up. The only thing that he spit up was the last thing he eat..undigested, no acid. We thought we had the culprit pegged as cheese, but today he spit up a bite of french toast stick, and later a hand full of cheerios. He is eating, at least somewhat, so he's getting nutrition. Today, we went to eat when the wife got home, and he had to go potty 5 times in a row..and actually did something each time. By the 3rd time, we were gettign fustrated with himn, thinking it was a game. But them he had runny poop, and we realized that it wasnt his fault. So, first thing tomorrow mourning, it's off to the Dr office we go.

My sister in law is a very sweet girl. She is very ....large framed, however. Not fat..but manly. She has the stride and shoulders of a middle linebacker. WHen she walks, there's no feminine gait about her...rather a manly lumber. She now has her hair cut short and spiky, which on her, looks really nice. The wife decided to get her hair cut this weekend. While not spiky, she cut it so short that I mistook her for her sister from behind (by accident, I assure you). She was walking up our steps, and I called to her sister, only to realize that it was my wife. As if her personality wasn't enough to keep her from getting laid, her hair is scoring no points with me.
On a good note, Logan decided that HE TOO wanted his hair cut. So, we went to Kids Cuts at the mall, and he sat still till the end. ANd, I must say, ended up looking like quite a fine young gentleman when it was done.

Enough for one night. Thanks for all the support from those with sucky inlaws. Good to know that Im not the only one.



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