Adventures of Darth Daddy

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

I live still

Well, my child was returned to me. He alien presence has subsided, leaving only an energetic and rebelious almost 3 yr old. Today was pretu eventless. During Lance's naptime, I put on The Never Ending Story 2 on. Logan curled up with me on the couch and we watched it together. There were a few times when he'd straighten up, and try to hide IN the couch (when he bad guys attacked). I talked him down (or out), and all was well. We concluded that the Lucky Dragon looked too much like a doggie to be a dragon, bad guys can be scarey, the Child-like Emperess in this movie is UG (the L and the Y got scared and ran away) and Johnathan Landis still sucks.

Aikido class was fun. Came home to play with Logan a bit before night night time. Lance was asleep, but managed to scream his way out of his room to be held twice (and fed once) before going back to sleep.

Now it's time for the biggest decision of the night... go to sleep, or watch Twilight Zone on Scifi.

(Clicking the remote)

Looks like sleep's not a good episode of Twilight Zone.
Nite all


Sunday, October 23, 2005

Fun with words

Ive been boged down lately. Started training in a new martial art that makes me feel like a kid again. Not that giddy, bubbly stuff either.,...but that "man, I just am not getting this" math class styled feeling. The wife and I have had better days. Logan was on self destruct today. The baby is the only sane one so far....but he's showing signs of a wicked sense of humor...he only needs time to explore it. And the church adventure will at least come to a succcesful "mission objective achived" next week when the boys are baptised. Shame the church doesn't have a larger "small kid" population. We had hoped that in returning to church, the boys would have friends.

Annnnnyways.....I wanted to lighten up a bit.....and have been pondering some lighter thougths for tonights blog.

1. Have you noticed that some completely different words vary by only as much as 1 letter? I notice these things, because I suck at typing, and sometimes type a real word, just not the one I wanted, due to a missing letter. For example:
If you get cold, you could. The word COLD and COULD vary only because of an added (or missing) letter U.


Everyone knows the saying "Everything is funny till someone loses an eye". But consider the words PAN and PAIN. In this case (As I always tell my kids), "Everything is funny till someone gains an I".

Next time you are talking to someone, and the topic is that you pay very close attention to details, say "I always make sure that I dot my T's and cross my EYE's". See if anyone even notices. Everyone Ive ever said that to has never as much as batted an I.

Why is it that we see RE enactments, but when it happened the original time, we never call it an ENactment.

I think I hear one of the kids talking downstairs. (Plus, I ran into a mental block ). I'll write more down as they come to me. But please, feel free to add any that you know to the comment section.



As you read this, I beg of you to be quiet. No stomping of chomping of chips. You see, the day started out innocent enough. The sunlight shone in thru the part in the floor length curtains in the boys room. Of course, the curtain crack somehow magically seems to allow that sunbeam to peg me right in the eye, but that's neither here nor there.

THe childen awoke...first Lance...then Logan. I got Lance a new diaper, and Logan joined us on the floor. All seem to be normal enough. Even when the wife walked in to sit with us, the day felt normal.


We'll get to that...

The wife made everyone waffles, fresh from the Scooby doo head waffle griddle. NOW here's where the day gets weird. Im not sure if it was alien abdunction, twisted temperment, or something in those damn waffles, but about 2 hours later, that oldest son of mind done lost his friggin mind! It started after him and I were wrestling, while I was trying to get a new pair of underwear on him, and some pants. TUrns out the pants were actually his little he had me I grabbed some shorts and got em on em. He seemed content. THe wife walks in, and suggests his legs dont get cold. Everyone is in long pants except Logan. I agree, thereby releasing the Djin from the bottle, the cat from the bag, and threw the shit directly into the proverbial fan.

The wife grabs 2 pair of sweatpants, and asks "Do you want the blue ones? Or the black ones?" She was too distracted by the search for the pants to observe that our son no longer stood before her....rather, a mutated, twisted "look a like" now took his place. I think I may have sen it happen, but there was this flashy light, and I cant seem to recall thing no good. SO like I was saying, as the chicken went into the ....barn...wait.......damn fllashy light...where was I....let me go back and read what I got so far....brb

Ok......She asks about color prefference twice more... I ask him twice........finally, I give the untimatum "TEll momma BLUE or BLACK NOW". I had no idea that this new alien lifeform had liguistic problems, and that "NOW" in alien tounge translates into "BANZAI !!"

Logan screams that he doesnt want pants, and spits at her. The pants get flung onto the floor, and tells him that he can have cold legs then. I order him up onto his bed for being mean and spitting at mommy. We both leave the room.

This is where yet another being takes control of my son...I came upstairs (to blog and escape), and I swear that 15 Shaolin Monks channeled their spirits thru my child. It sounded like a kung fu marathon happening right below my feet. After a few minutes, I went downstairs to see what the hell was goign on. My son (or what appeared to be him), had tears on his face, snot rolling down his noce, was speaking is some ancient language, the whole time while balanced between his bed and the babys "stand in it and bounce"toy....the whole time holding on with his hands and 1 foot...the other leg was twirling in the air, and crashing into the bed. He performed such powerful round house kicks that I stood there a minute..Instead of stopping him, I was watchign his hips to see how he got so much balance and power. I, for a moment, was jelous.

Finally calmed him down, and he started to beg for momma to come back in. She stepped in the room, and he went ape shit again!!

I left the room, escaped up here....and now convey this tragic tale of terror to you. If I remain very still, maybe they will forget....AW SHIT......he found me.

I shall miss you all.

Sweet moment with my son

I'll divide this up for those who may want to just read the good things that happened to me..and those who want to share in my distress.

GOOD STUFF: Went out to eat for lunch with the wife and kids (Chickfila!!). We had coupons. After eating, we went into the play area, where Logan went nuts...and even Lance got to play. I bobbed and weaved myself (and baby Lance) to the top of their play area thingie......Up at the 3rd level, there was only two ways down....the corner we came up at, or the twisty slide. For Lance , this was heaven. He was WAAY up in the air, could look thru the netting and see momma WAAAAAY below him..there were 3 girls that thought he was the cutest thing alive (they played with him the entire time we were there), and when it was time to go down (we did this twice), he got a super speed slide experience on top of my tummy (I layed on my back, put him on my belly, and whOOOOSHED down the slide). He laughed so hard I thought he was gonna choke!

We went to church tonight. The baptism (for both boys) is set for next saturday. We also had to deliver a paper to the priest showing that our choice of Godparents was OK'ed by the church. Logan was a bit high strung, but we made it thru mass without having to kill/maim/spank anyone.

MY SUCKY LIKE STUFF: The inlaws have never liked me. Once I married their daughter, they kinda accepted me. We dated since we were about 17 or 18, married when we were 30, and within 2 years, started our ownfamily when Logan came along. I must admit, grudginly, that they have done a decent job of keeping their nose out of my business.

Flashback to when we were dateing: The inlaws have always had this self richeous, stuckup aire about them. They have 3 kids, are catholic, and appeared to be the model family unit. No drugs, alcohol, wife beating, or anything that would end them up on a Jerry Springer edisode. My life, however, was not like that. Im not sure how much they knew, but Im sure they were aware that I came from a broken home. (Man..not I have to note what they knew and what they didnt know...let's just stick with that they knew). I was an only child, raised by a single parent (my mother). Mind you, I was in my teens when I started dating my wife..but they ignored this, and blamed anything and everything that I did (that they didn't lik eoir approve of) on my being raised single parented. It was an insult to me, and to my mother.

***BACKGROUND INFO*** My biofather was a drunk. A hillbilly from Pennsylvania whose hobbies were (and probably still are) fishing, hunting, drinking, fighting, and smacking his women around. Don't knowHOW the hell my mother ended up with him. Do't knwo if it was his charm, and he because abusive later....think I'll have to ask her this when I see her next. From what she has told me (and what Ive pieced together), my father was overcontroling. My mom wanted to have as many kids as possible, and i get the sense that my father saw this as his "rein" of control coming to an end. I seems to recall talk of comments made about "hitting her in the stomache if she turned up pregnant". I really think he wanted no kids, so he couldn control his woman better, and keep her under his thumb. Well, this may have worked with a weaker woman, buy my mother has a spiteful side to her. Once I came along, my mom waised up, and left the bum. I think I wasn't even a year old. He was always delinquent on his $20 a week (or month) child support, was distant when I stayed with him for his 2 week a year visitation, and even broke into our house in Cleveland one time and assaulted my mother (in front of me). I'll address this one later..that's an entirely different blog. Anyways, my now deceased uncle and my grandafther both stepped in and more than assumed the role of father figure in my life. Back to my wife and her parents....

The inlwas have done some stoopid shit in their time. They once grounded my wife (then 18 years of age) for wearing my black leather jacket. "Innapropriate" was a battle cry of theirs. The later bought her a leather jacket for christmas (about 4 years later). I was fuming inside! One time, we went to a theme park (1 hour drive away). A tire blew out, and the rim wouldn't coem off the car. Took me an hour to get that damn thing changed, and she got home 30 minutes late (after her curfew). Didn't matter that we had the blown out tire in the trunk to show them.....nope. it was a clear violating of her curfew and she got grounded. Not from tv, or anythingelse.....just gounded from ME. I was going out of town with my family the next day. When the inlwas found out about that, they ungrounded her for the entire time I was gone, and REINSTATED IT the day I got back. What assholes.

Once, my grandfather was down from Cleveland, and we both stopped over their house. I wanted to take the wife (then 18/19) out for icecream with my grandfather. The inlaws said something like "because I didnt call ahead, it was innapropriate for them to let her go with us". This one had me pissed. I even peel wheels exiting their driveway.

Has anyone here ever dated a girl whose parents took turns at the "good cop/bad cop" thing? I did. Never knew which one was out to get me. One time, the wife (MIL) would say that I was such a nice boy, and the father would chop me down. Then next time the wife was saying what a bad guy I was, and the father thought I was ok. All of this was heard second hand (my wife told me what she had heard them say). But still. They'd raise a big stink if I came in their house and didnt hunt them down to say HELLO. The next time, I did so and they had a problem with me acting "fake".

There's more...more than I care to remember right now......more than you care to read right now. Looking back, I admit that I may have acted the same way towards MY daughters boyfriends. If I have a girl, there will never be anyone good enough for her. I can understand some of where they were coming from.

Now, we come back to today. Not today as in Saturday, but as in recently. While my mother has minorly pushed for the boys to get baptised, she never has made a big stink of it. The inlaws, on the other hand, have always been religious (although they never pushed for the baptism least not to me.). They say grace before each meal, go to church every Sunday, bla bla bla. Recently, their only remaining parent (MIL's father) has not been in good health. As his health decreased, the MIL got more Jesus in her life. If she needs the crutch..more power to her. This also means that Jesus had to get spread around as well. Like them teaching Logan to pray, and to say grace, and to bless himself. FIL at least asked (he asked the wife) if he could teach Logan to pray..but the blessing himself and grace was taken for granted. They once made a "horse and pony" show of Logan to friends of theirs...big msitake.

I've given too much background info.....onto the problem. The inlaws are going to be the Godparents. We wanted the wife's sister and her husband, but things didnt work out. I now am very concerned that the inlaws will view themselves as having more power to butt their nose into MY family decisions (regarding religion). I made a comment to the wife that I hope they realize that they only have say so IF and WHEN I die....this started a fight between us.
"WHy do you have to be liek that?" she asks. Then she just shuts down, like I'm now on IGNORE mode.

Today we were at Chickfila, and Logan was getting a little wild. He wouldn't calm down, and I knew that the wife would get pissy, so I picked him up and held him. He started to laugh, and I ended up hoisting him up by his feet. I then lifted him up, and set him over my shoulder. He was contained....he was happy, and the wife starts bitching at me cause we're making a scene. I say "So what?". She complains that he was kicking his feet, and there were people behind us. I tell her 'Then they need to learn to back up". I am big big BIG about people giving me person space. Ever wait in line 9 with a grocery cart) , and every inch you move up, the asshole behind you has to scoot up too? Like 3 more inches is really gonna get him anywhere faster. Anyways, the wife got pissed off and froze me out. I finally asked Logan to take his baby brother and the GRUMP and get a table. When we got the food to the table, she acted fine, but by then "I" was the one pissed about what had happened.

Logan didn't get a nap today, so I knew he would fall asleep pretty fast. When it was his night night time, he started fussing and asking me to lay down with him. I told him I would, but only for a little while. We layed there for about 4 minutes, watching tv,when he turned over towards me. I brush the ahir out of his face, and he says "More, dad. More." So I brushed his hair, and his head, and within a minute...he was sound asleep. Sleep tight little one.

Thursday, October 20, 2005


In contrast to the title, today wasn't all that bad. TONIGHT was, but today wasn't.

The inlaws took Logan for the day, leaving Lance and I a day to play. We played a while, then went to a resteraunt for lunch. It was sooo strange only having one child to deal with. I kept fighting back the feeling of "Oh shit - where's Logan?!?!"

The wife swung home to pick up Lance, so I could go to my new dojo . On the way to the dojo, I again had that weird feelign of "Didnt' I just have a baby??".

Aikido class stressed me out in stead of helping me release stress, but that's another blog.

The wife comes home, puts Logan to bed, and Lance in his swing. Lance is asleep in minutes, and later is transfered to his bed. I decide to come upstairs to blog a bit, and hear the baby crying. I go back downstairs, get him before he wakes his older brother, and end up on the couch for the next 30 minutes, as he sqirms and tosses and turns, and does everything imaginable to keep from falling back asleep. Putting him down only causes his to scream. Eventually, he is willing to go back to his swing. He soon falls asleep, and I slip away upstairs. I get about 5 minutes of typing when he awakes, and starts to scream again. Back downstairs I go - hold the baby another 20 minutes till he falls asleep. Just as I go to get up, Logan comes walkign in, crying, and wants to cuddle with us. I tell him "just a sec..let me put baby in his crib...", and Logan starts to cry REALLY LOUD, and I have to sit back down for fear that he'll wake Lance back up.

Sittting there was not a bad thing. I had Lance in my arms, and Logan curled up next to me. I get up, put Lance in his crib, and return to Logan. After a few minutes in my lap, he's out - or so I thought. Appearantly, ther eis an alarm button on his ass, cause as it hit his mattress, his eyes sprung open, and he started to cry that he didnt want to go to bed. SHIT. I tell him that I'll do whatever he wants, as long as he gets really quiet really quick - and does NOT WAKE UP THE BABY!!

Back on the couch now - he realizes that the tv is off. This is unacceptable. He starts to cry that it come back on . I tol dhim that I didnt pay the bill, and we ran out of tv for the night, bt he's too smart to buy that line.

At this point, the wife gets up to see what's going on. What's going on is that I've been trying to put the kids BACK to bed for the last hour! Not her fault...not anyones fault...but my problem to deal with. It's 1:15am, and I need a few finish my blog entry, and to get some sleep , casue I KNOW that come 6:45am, they'll both be wide awake and so must daddy be as well.

Where the hell is that EASY button on the TV commercial .

Ok - it just hit me - stop bitching about this and go to bed. But you see, Logan wanted to lay down with the wife. The steps from the upstairs coem down into the master bedroom. That means that in about 2 minutes, as I go down the steps and around the corner, odds are about 60% that Logan will hear this (even though my steps are as light as the wings of a dragonfly ---Kung Fu joke).
AUAUAUGHGHGHH I need a day off. I need a day of making money from WORK. I need a day that the kids go to bed and stay asleep until around 9am of the following mourning.


ps. My 5th year anniversary is coming up on the 21st of this month. I asked the wife "Besides a new husband, what would you like for our anniversary". She said that she wanted her spice rack mounted above the stove in the kitchen. She then asked "What would you like?". I just replied..."Nothing. Just don't kill me in my sleep".

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Connected with the Force today

Funny how blogs are much funnier to read when someting went wrong. Today, nothing broke.... there was no on needed to be punished (including ME)...and all seemed right with the universe.

The day started early. Last night, Logan had asked me to lay down next to him till he fell asleep. So I did...which means the next thing I know, it's about 6am , and Lance is squawking to be played with. Last night, because Lance kept waking up and crying, we let Logan fall asleep on the floor in the livingroom, on a pile of blankets. This mourning, just as my brain registers "That sounds like Lance playfuly yellign DA DA " , I open my eyes and Logan is staring at me. He whispers "Baby wake, da". I couldn't help but laugh. I got up, got the baby, and plopped him down right between us on the blanket pile. We all played there for a short while before the wife walked in.

The wife had a playdate with a group planned for the AM, which meant I was free to attend the AM aikido class. Class went well, and it was back to home and a quick lunch. A Walmart adventure (and 2.5 hours) later, we went to church, and not once had to threaten to kill anybody.

We did have a bit of trouble with dinner afterwards, but even that worked out nicely. Lance was asleep, so we pulled into Wendy's drivethru. Waited about 5 minutes for someone to take our order (the inside was busy, but not one other car was in drivethru). The girl half ass asks us what we want. We tell her "2 single combos...both with cheese and mayo only". The screen (to ensure correctness) shows a single and a double combo--both with NO mayo. She asks if what kind of drinks. We tell her, and before we can shove YOU GOT IT WRONG out of our mouths, she gives us a total. We tell her that she has it wrong, and we are not done ordering. Silence. Then more silence. After about 2-3 minutes, she tells us to pull to the window. We get to the windoe, where she starts taking the order of the car behind us, instead of getting ours right first. She opens the window, and tells us an amount. We told her "First off - you go tit wrong. Secondly, we're not done orderign yet". The bitch closes the window, turns to her register, and takes 2 more orders. The wife is shootin flames out of her ears. She says "Screw this" and takes off, but I see that the manager is at the next window. I got her to stop in time, and we tell the manager what a bitch the girl was. He starts apologizing, says he'll talk with her, and .....dun du DAAAAA...hands over a bag of food. Then he hands over 2 big drinks. Asks if we want ketchup. As he handed it to us, the bitch from the first window realizes that we didnt pull off, but only pulled up. So she throws a shit fit, screaming to another girl that we didnt pay. AS the wife stepped on the gas to move a bit, we heard a voice from inside say "You mean that car?". I didnt yell, but said go go go gOGOGOGGOOGOGOGOOOOOOOO. We tokk off like a bat out of hell. No ..wait....rewind that. I WANTED us to take off like a bat out of hell, but the wife was driving, so we kinda drove off in what might have resembled a hurried fashion. Traffic at the exit almost screwed us....but we got out before some 400 lb manager could chase down out car.
When we got home, we found 2 half filled orders of fries......and 2 single with EVERYTHING except mayo, but no cheese......the other with only meat (no cheese of anything). I was hald tempted to call tomorrow, and complain about the crappy food we received!!

Well, time to update the karate blog. Night all.


Thursday, October 13, 2005

One problem down - 6 more to go

Ok -water problem solved. Paid the bill this mourning, came home, waited to the time frame they said to expect them ( to turn on the water). I turned the water back off, so that they could turn it back on and not know that I self served it. Anyways, water is back.

My computer has been acting weird the last 2 nights. It will boot, show windows, start a few programs, then just cut off. I think the power supply is going back. Odd thing though - both nights it was crapped out during startup, and done it about 3 times, then works fine (I say this with fingers crossed that it'll stay on long enough to let me publish this!)

Pretty, make that harmless .. day today with the boys. Road trip to pay the bwater bill, playing at home. Oh, we did go to my favorite thrift store (took a road trip). Lo and behold, guess what we got?? Background info: 2 of my favorite costumes (for me to wear) for both telegrams, kids parties and for halloween are my Bear in the big blue house costume, and my big fuzzy blue Sully costume form Monsters Inc. They also offered these costumes (at the time- a few years ago) in kids sizes, but they were around $40 each. I've tried to get them on Ebay, but they always get bid up to around $60. Today, I found both, in kid size, for $7 each! And they are in perfect condition. I thought it would be a bit too big for Logan, but he put the Bear costume and on started dancing around the house in it. I wish my camcorder was handy. (These costumes are full body costume..with feet and hands, and a big zipper..only the face area is open, but the character head sits on the top of your own head ). It was too cute. Gonna have to get him in it again when my camera has batteries that actually work.

The fencing project (fence for the house) is coming along nicely. I dont actually have any fence UP yet, but I have designed, creted and installed a double doored gateway from the house to the neighbors wall. By design, each gate is 8 ft long (the entire length of a fence section), they open outward form the center, and have a removable connection post (where they meet in the center) that can be removed if needed, to accomodate anything huge that needs to get in or out of the driveway (open space will be 16 ft across). I acomplished this by sinking a pvc pipe in the ground (in the middle where the gates meet) and then putting the cneter post in the pipe. It is sturdy, solid, and will probably take Logan bout a week to completely mess up by filling it in with dirt (when Im not looking). Gotta love helpers!

Well, off to update my karate blog.


Water water wait..shit!!!

Today, as I walked to the driveway to get my karate uniform (it neede washed, and was in the truck), a city truck pulled up and proceeded to cut off our water. The wife had said she paid the bill, but they handed me a bill for $320!

No more water, give us money..have a nice day.

ps. You can forget washing or flushing anything.
The City of Chesapeake

Turns out the wife took her good sweet time coming home from work, so I messed my aikido class (even though my uniform was a bit stinky). But when we returned home from dining out, it occured to me....if Goober from the city can turn it off, the power of the dark side should be able to turn it right back on. So...armed with pliers and my sons lion flashlight (complete with growling sounds when you turn it on), I restored water to the house. We may now flush again!

The wife wrote a check to the city, and I have to run it down first thing in the mourning. Guess I oughta turn the water back off before we go...they might get a bit pissy to find that "someone" already did their job for them. You think they'd by a story about anti establishment garden Gnomes with access to Craftsman tools??


Wednesday, October 12, 2005


Today, the inlaws took Logan for the day. We had done this before, but stopped, and now reveived it. One day a week, usually, Wenesdays, I asked them to take Logan for the day. He gets to play and get out of the normal routine for a while, and I get to spend more personalized time with Lance.

Today went very well. The baby and I played more than we usually get to. I didnt have to get up every 3 minutes to find out what Logan was getting into. And when it was naptime, I had the place to myself (and napped as well).

I overheard something worth mentioning on here..... I joined an aikido dojo (see other blog). When we were dressing in the back, 2 of the guys were talking , and one said "That's why Im so glad I dont have kids. I can still go and do whatever I want. " Another 20-30something guy added in "Yeah, no kids for me. I like my freedom." Call me dumb, but I had forgotten that guys still thought like this. Even when I was younger (in my teens and 20's), I KNEW that one day I would be a dad. And I'd try my best to be a great one. Now, I never would have guessed I'd have sacrificed a career to stay at home and be one full time, but I knew that I wanted kids. I wanted to be a dad. Even high school friends said things like "You're sure gonna make a neat father some day".
I've always liked kids. I built a profit making compnay out of my ability to entertain, communicate, and simply amuse them for an hour at a time. Maybe it was all that time connecting to kids on their level that is now paying off with my own kids. I like kids...but I adore my own! WHen a kid says something embarrasing, it's kinda funny. When you know that your genes spawned the little creature that just spouted off those words of ill-timed wisdom, it's priceless. There's just nothing in the world that can beat the feeling insode when I say "That's my boy!!".

COURT: Not only have I go tto deal with the attorneys over the Discover card case, but they have another date scheduled in court regarding another card that did the same thing (but a lot less money involved). TO the visiting dad to my site taht had to deal with the same schmuck lawyers today, please drop me a line and let me knwo how things went with you.

Verizon can kiss my ass. The yellow pages people, that is. For 3 years, they listed my "you get this free ad" with a wrong phone number. An Old phone number that I was assured would be changed over to the new number. Because it was "free" in the first place, they told me "Tough tittie" that it wasn't updated. For 3 years. So in order to not lose business from that category listing, I had to maintain the line for 3 years. Then, they started to offer website hosting. I was ahead of the game and designed, built, managed and got my own compnay site published and hosted, fo rmuch cheaper than Verizon offered. This offended them. WHen I renewed my ad, they told me that I had 2 line if tex that I could use, but I couldn't use my website name. They wanted to charge an extra fee for that. So.....thinking hard, I changed the company name TO the website name. Even got the city issued business license to show it. This pissed them off. Them purposely pooch screwed my ad for the following 5 years. Always something. They mispelled the website...forcing me to register and redirecta different domain name. Luckily, it was avaliable. Mispellings, you name it. They even listed my home address in each ad for 2 years. (Note: You can lose your business license if your neighbors complain that your customers are at your house. You can do business FROM your home, but not AT your home. Putting my address in the paper meant that any moron could stop over my home, at any hour of the day or night, and ask to see my Barney costume. Or Winne the Pooh. And they did! Rather than calling for an appointment, looking online, I had people knock on my door at 8pm at 630am......because they wanted to see some costumes. I finally had enough. When they messed up my ad in 2003, I stopped paying. I tried desperately to get action, but the only way to get anyone to notice me was by not paying the bill. They got mad. The took me off monthly payments , and demanded the whole thing at once. They told me they were sorry for screwing up my ad, and would take 50% off the bill. When the new bill came , they had taken 50% only off of the cheapest of 4 ads. They charged me full price on the other 3 ads (which were also in error). Confused gets better.
This past year, I made the ads as small and simple as possible. Last years bill is still in dispute. They refuse to send me an itemized statement stating what I oew. They also sent statements saying that it was paid in full (sweeet)! Soo, in order to run the ads in 2004, I had to pay all the money up front. I charged it on my Citibank card, and the ads were in fact accurate (FINALLY!). Now, I get a bill for the amount again. The one I actually paid. They called twice, then sent it off to collections. Now a collection agency is hounding me for an ad that I actually did pay for . In full. WIth no discount for having paid it in full. What assholes. I realized, about a month ago, that they never called me to ask about advertising in next years book. Good thing. THink I will give the new people in town (Yellow Book) a try.
*I should note, that advertising in some major directory really is the only way I get calls. I tried flyers, handing out cards, all that stuff, and nothing got calls. But a small ad in the yellow pages would do the trick. And up until this year, the Verizon Yellow Pages was the only directory in town.

Perhaps, someday , the story of my life will be more than "Yes....but I can explain..."

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Messed up type on last post

Weird. I tried to email someone who commented on my blog, and it failed because it originated from Blogger. I cut and pasted part of the email into the blog box, and ended up with a sever case of run on sentences. Funky!

DARTH LANCE: This little booger will be walking and talking anytime now. He's really cruising. Even by crawling, he can beat me to the front door. THis becomes a problem when I run out to the car really quick. I grab something, run back to the front door, and am greeted by Lance using the door for support. Our front door is all one big glass door, so he can see clear thru it. He just stands there and laughs at me as I try to get him to sit down. If I open the door, he'll fall forward on the concrete porch. The more I tell him to move, and wave my arms, the more he laughs and bounces.

Today , we all went the the store after the wife got home from work. She had Lance in her cart, and from 6 ailse away, I heard "DAAAAAA" "DAAAAADAAAADAAADAAA!!!". I was in the main aisle, and Lance was yelling across the store at me. It was sweet. I was talking with Logan, and thought "I know that voice". Sure enough - I was being summoned.

DARTH LOGAN: Ever night we let Logan fall asleep on a blanket on the floor of his room. I will eventually pick him up and put him in his own bed for the night. When I pick him up, he always wakes a bit. I always whisper to him "Everything's ok - you're with dada". Last night, for the first time, he opened his eyes, and whispered back "ok". My heart melted.

He's really got a thing for firefighters and firetrucks. He loves to Google pictures of them, we got him a firetruck bed, and he will accoasionally disappear to his room, and return in his firefighter PJ's, complete with hat and big rubber boots.

Listening is becoming a major issue with Logan. And a big sourse of conflict between us. Telling him repeatedly to "Get off of that gate" "Be nice to the cats" " stop hitting the glass on the door!" " Stop screaching!". Over and over until I lose my cool. The last "losing it" happened at the mall, when the repeated command was "Stop touching/pushing/hugging/bumping other kids". He did nothing out of evil intent, I must add. He is not beating up little kids. He is running around playing with kids, having fun, and gets too fired up. He startes to bounce (like Tigger), and gets vry hyper. He'll start to hug someone, while still jumping! Some kids think he is aggresive...some little kids ger scared. When they start to pull away, he thinks it's a game, and holds on /bounces more. So far, other parents have been understanding, but I know that sooner or later, some asshole parent is gonna end up filing charges over it. I hope he gets a grip on this before he goes to skool.

DARTH DADDY: Are people just assholes, or what? I hate to put it that way, but that's the way I feel. When I became a full time dad, I realized a needed to have a way or stress relief. Joinig a doj was what I wanted to do, and it worked for a while. Till the dojo became a greater sourse of stress than the kids were. Disappearing teachers, spin doctor owners, canceled name it. I lost what few friends I had when I became an at home dad. One moved away, and the other is still nice, but seems to distant himself because I have kids now. Since high skool, I've been pretty cool with being on my own. Occasionally, I start to wonder how nice it might be to have friends. Not cyber friends.....and let me say taht I truely value each and everyone of you. People who read my blog are the only adults I get to reach out to. It's be nice to have someone to meet at the gym and work out with. It'd be nice to have a group to get together with and play board games with. I'd love to check out those new dvd based games, but what's the use when it's only me and the wife? I really enjoyed the time I spent with my dojo friend, even if he did have much less experience at the arts then I did. We developed a routine, for about a month or so, where we'd meet, and each of us would explore variations of different techniques (across judo/BJJ/JJ/Muay Thai/ whatever). He quit the dojo, and shortly after I did (I think I did. See my other blog for that story). I had loaned him a jacket, and asked for it back. He set the date, time, and place, and I was late. The baby had got 3 vaccine shots the day before, and was very fussy the next day. Logan was in rare form, the wife was..well, the wife. And it slipped my mind untill 30 minutes before the meeting. We were almost done with dinner (eating out), and finished up as fast as we could. We arrived 30 minutes late, he was gone, so I came home and phoned him. The conversation was more than I expected. I started with an apology....he started on a rant about how irresponsible I was, how he lived up to his end of the bargain, and how inconsiderate I was to blow him off like that. I tried to explain, but started to get the feeling that this asshole was leading up to asking me to pay HIM to get MY jacket back.

To defuse the situation, I asked him if he wanted a donut. I figured he'd laugh, I'd swing over with some donuts, and we'd have some time to talk a bit. Instead , he asked if I wanted to , well, suck him. I was in awe. No idea where this came from. I snapped at him, he bitched back, and I figured this was not going to end up good. He still had my jacket. I asked to coem over and get it - he agreed - and I did. He handed it ot the doorway and said"Here you go". I said "Thank you" and that was that. That means, from my year at McDojo, my social encounters have resulted in the following:

1 perceived friend turned asshole
1 Jui jitsu sensei who abandoned me
1 Kung Fu that distanced himself from me when I didn't follow ONLY his style
1 BJJ teacher that was only interested in whoopin someones ass (anyones)
5 adult students who ran their mouth about what they were gonna do rather than doing it (they disappeared eventually)
1 teacher that is stuck in the past, and unwilling to accept reality of half hearted training

As for as social contacts, the best thing I got going is the Jesus people dojo. The head guy is about as nice as they come. Shame that he only has classes on Tuesdays. Sure would be nice to train under him more.

I joined a local playgroup....but I guess that women view playgroups differently than men do. Men seek playgroups for their kids to be able to have someone to play with. Women seek out playgroups to have someone for THEM to talk to. The group I joined is nice and all, but most play dates end up with 8 women yacking while Im playing with the kids. ALL the kids. I crawl up the slide tubes with the kids, I play on the forts, I jump, I hop..all that stuff. I guess most kids don't get to see an adult act this way, cause kids will see me playign with Logan/Lance (even at non play group events), and will flock to me. It's flattering, but at the same time, makes me nervous. I'll toss Logan up in the air (and catch him), then toss Lance, and then hear "Hey Mister..toss me too!! Me too!". Instead of having fun, immediately Im bombarded with images of screaming mothers, charges of child molestation, having the kids have some disease (like ..shit, cant remember it....brittle bones.) and having the kid end up "broke". Sucks what the world has come too. Sure wish my attempt to form a "dad's club" would have worked.

Well, time to raid Bearshare for some music. Catch ya'll later....and thanks for reading. It means a lot to be heard.

Party's over

Ok - pity party is over. I'm over it.

I burned a cd last night, and today, the boys and I are just laying around in their room listenin to it. For some reason, my computer keps messing up the last, or next to last songs on each cd. Been doing that for about 3 months now.

I've been negligent in my upkeep about being "tagged" for various things. I've been meaning to post 5 songs that I am currently listening to, but I can figure out how to post the actual mp3 as well. No use just listing titles , when it's so much nicer to be able to have ya'll download the song too. Can anyone help with this?

Also, Im supposd to post a "wish list" of hot babes. From what I remember, it was supposed to be personalized favorites...not just Pam Anderson like everyone else would put. I've found that I have 2 lists. I've always prefered blonds, but in composing a list, I realize thatthe list of blonds is more of a fantasy list, while the other list is chalk full of brunettes. Not that I'd have any easier chance dating one list over the other, but for me, I do think that blonds have more fun.
Im on the laptop now.... and I hunted down pic last night, but they are on the desktop. Later today, I'll take care of both the favorite song thingy, and both hot-momma lists.

The little one are headed this way. Gotta GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Friday, October 07, 2005

Some time to talk

Ok - both kids are asleep...the wife is downstairs...I finally have some time to myself. Figured I'd share my alone time with ya'll.

COURT DATE: I arrived 5 minutes after court started. The docket said I was the 41st case to be heard, but just as I sat down, they called 7 defendants up. All were being sued by Walpoff and Abramson (Or Wallprop and Abraham, as I call them. I hope this gets their goat, if they have one.) Instead of a walll of 5 souless suits, they only sent a small , middleages woman to mop up.
They are blood sucking leaches on the phone, but sent
a seemingly harmless flunky to court to take care of
the paper work. They had about 7 other cases that
day. I had hoped they only had me, and would either
forget to show, or plead with some last minute offer.
I was the only one, as they called all of us to the
bench as a group, that refuted the amount that was
claimed. I have no idea what the other people were
doing. The judge explained things very nicely..he
explained that the Wallprop and Abraham lawyer had
only minimal paperwork..and coulnd't refute the case
at that time. A Bill of Particulars was ordered
(which I've been asking for for over year). I should
receive this bill of particulars and a statment from
the attorneys (stating how they arrived at the amount
they claim) next month. I then have 30 days to write
out a letter stating why I refute the amount, and send
a copy of that letter to both the attorney and the
court. Another court date was scheduled for Dec or

On the door to the court room, there was a sign
stating that arbitration was avaliable for anyone who
wanted it. I was going to ask for it, to give it a
try , but they called my case as soon as I walked in
and sat down. I did, however, tell the judge that I
was more than willing to give arbitration a try..I
hoped to make myself look good. He said that was
admirable, but reminded me that the attorney for W&A
didnt know shit, and couldn't argune anything (I

Before I left, I sat down with the attorney, and
talked a bit. While I was pleasant, I discussed only
those reasons that I'd have to disclose to them anyways.
No use giving them ammo.

Found out that Discover card should have given me the chance to OPT OUT when they tripled my interest rate. That means I wouldn't be able to use the card anymore, but wouldn't be subject to the outrageous new rate. This never happened. Im sure they will say that I didnt take advantage of this option. I can point out that not only did they never offer it, I even called them and begged for something similar, and was told.."Sorrym there's nothing we can do for you".

So....Im still in a holding pattern. The attorney asked if I would be intersted in making a payoff, if given a 20% discount. I said I was interested, but not in any financial position to do so. If they would consider removing all the interest and bullshit charges, and offer a low % rate, I could arrange for monthly payments. Her response to this was "Im can tell you that the company would rather pursue the judgment for the full amount before considering any monthly payments that you may offer."
SO fuck em. If they'd rather win a judgment for a large amount that they can never collect on, rather than accepting monthly payments, let em go for it.

I'll publish this , and then write another about the kids.


A quote from a fellow dad

I wish I could take credit for the following staement. When I read it over at The Bean's Dad
I laughed so hard, I had to share it.

"this is your brain.....tHis si yuR bRn on kiDz....... any questions?"

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

I'll be back soon

Sorry to my readers - too much been going on lately. Haven't had the time or the patience to blog. Soo many things happen each day that I think 'This HAS GOT to go in my blog", then it gets late, the kids are asleep , and I've forgotten about those blog ideas, or just can't get them typed.

Tomorrow is my 1st court date over credit cards that are overdue/closed/written off. Those pricks at Wolpoff and Abramson got ahold of my Discover card debt, and some other credit card, and have filed against me in civil court. The whole Discover card problem arose when I balance transfered higher rate cards to a nice 3.9% (or 6.9%, i forget). I balance transfered $9,000, and consolodated the hell out of my financial problems. At least I solved my problem with other cards. For almost a full year, I made payments above the minimum required, and on time. No late payments - I wasn't foolin with this card. Then , all of a sudden, they jacked up my rate to around 24%! No way in hell I'd ever see the light of day ever again at that rate. At the same time, Lance was born/or was due soon, and my home based business was really starting to fail. I lost all my employees (all 3 of them) to either them moving out of state to live, or moving out of state to go to college. That means I was the only one left that could entertain at birthday parties. Because of Logan, I could no longer snatch up all those last minute (middle of the telegrams, which was nice and easy money. So the money stopped coming in , the interest rate an dminimum payment skyrocketed. I called Discover card repeatedly, and all I got was "Sorry - there's nothing we can do for you." Now, it's come to Civil court. I've read and heard (from people and the internet) that you do't go to jail over a civil court desicion. It's still frightening, though. It's still a fear in the back of my mind that the judge will say "9 grand - couch it up, Shannon. No money? Bailiff---take this man into custody".

Im not one to welch on my debts. But thi company really stuck it to me. After I stopped paying, they lowered my limit to the exact amount owed, so that the very next day (with daily compounded interest) , I was over the limit. That mean not only was the interest each month HUGE, they were also jacking on $35 over the limit fees, and $35 late payment fees. Padding the bill for court.

Guess I'll see how this turns out tomorrow. Oh.. it'll be the first of 2 dates in court with these people. They have sent me a summons for November regarding the other credit card (almost same problem with that one).

Now for the KID stuff:

Logan is really starting to act like a big boy. The other day at the playground, there was a worker fixing part of the huge playset. He had left his tools on the ground, and went to his truck.. Logan , seeing this, looked at me and, with his palms outstretched (like WHOA!), he softly said "Careful dada, sharp tools. You no touch. Careful dad".
Im getting around to installing that fence I blogged about a while had to go to the hardware store for some posts. Logan calls Lowes the "Bob the builder store". After I told him he could come along, he dressed up in his orange Bob vest, and had a hard hat too. He sang "Can fix it - yes can!" all the way there. He had a blast! Walked down those ailes lik ehe owned the place.

Lance will either be talking our ears off soon, or walking by himself - or both! No more putting him in his swing to sit a while...he wants down and gets into EVERYTHING! I've started working with him with some simple sign language gestures. "more" and Food". As we sat down for dinner, he looked over at me and squawked. I asked and signed "more food?". He repeated it back . I was soo proud! Of him and of me. Mostly of him though.

His birthday brought with it a warm feeling that I find hard to describe. It meant that he was a year old, but it also was a kind of validation of my being able to be an at home parent. I thought "Hurray! I kept another one alive for at least a year!!" For a woman, this may not even cross her mind - but for a dad, this is a major thing. Prior to Logan, I really had no hands on experience. Even my buddy, who had 3 kids, only once ever asked me to baby sit them. I truly think he thought I was incompetent. But , here we are - Logan will be 3 at the end of the year - Lance just turned 1. I make no money from it, but God I love this job!!

Off to bed - after a get an outfit ready for tomorrow. My mom is coming over to watch the boys. Im considering taking the baby with me to court. He'll should be easy to manage - and will be much happier than being left alone with big brother and grandma.


Monday, October 03, 2005

Im still here

Wednesday was Lance's 1st birthday. We had a small get together with my mom. We had another party, with grandparents on both sides today (Sunday). The poor little thing had to get 3 shots the day after his birthday, though.

Lance is trying hard to walk - and is now off bottles. Logan gave up pacifiers totally, and has been spending most of the day singing and dancing (or at least trying to !!)

More later.....time to sleep now.
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