Adventures of Darth Daddy

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Speed blogging

GODAMIT - blog raped again

Had typed really fast, and it jammed when publishing.

Baby has a cold - so does logan. Terri Shaivo died today - The Pope was given last rites -

I took a Muay Thai class today and really liked it.

Now to try and publish again

Speed blogging

Im not sure if I paid the internet bill, and they usually cut it off aroudn midnight, so I'll type fast and stick to basics.

BABY NEWS: Logan is running a slight fever, and has a runny nose. Lance (poor little 6 month old) has the same, with added congestion and a boogery eye to boot. At times like this, I really wish there was a way to take the sickness. Id gladly feel like shit if it ment they felt better. But such is being a parent. (A good one, anyways).

DOJO NEWS: WOW- I attended the first Muay Thai class tonight. Went to class feeling slightly tired, had an awesome class, and left a sweaty heap of confidence. Still not 100% into Muay Thai as "the art for me", but I can hang - the new teacher seems nice, and the cardio workout is liek nothing Ive had recently (but have been dearly needing).

Hearse news: No news - gas is still too expensive.

WORLD NEWS: Terri Shiavo passed at 9am ish today. May she rest in piece. Watching the media about it (before she passed), although Im an opinionated person, Im sure glad the decision was in someone elses hand. That's one decision that I'd want to part of having a hand in.

I also heard today that last rites were given to the Pope.

Off to publish this, and see which little monkey is awake and needs fed/changed/lovin.


Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Drawing a blank

Let's see - what to write about tonight. For one thing, in that movie I wanted to shoot (as well as the actors!), I forgot to include Ashton Cutcher. SOOO tired of hearing about him. Hopefully, in a year or two, he'll have faded away like Matthew McConohey did.

The inlaws were finally feelign better, so we went over there today. The boys were behaving great - despite both having colds. Before goign over, we took a trip to the hardware store (or PLAYLAND, as the boy and I like to think of it!!). Bought a metal rod to hang clothes on. I installed 2 shelves in the kids room to hang clothes on, but previously only bought 1 pipe.

Did an Elvis telegram today - felt good to get back into the swing of things. Also will feel good when the money from it pops up in the bank account. Just got a notice last week that I had forgot to renew my business license, and they want $65 to do so. Also got a notice from the student loan people that, although I thought I was caught up, Im a month behind....meaning that I owe for last and THIS month. I just cant seem to get ahead. But - more requests for work have called in - got to turn them into mulla!

No karate today - but Logan decided to put on his gi and try to whoop my behind anyways. I really hope that the small bit that we are doing at this age will stick with him. THat he will want to continue a study of martial arts when he grows up. I'd hate for it to be a passing interest for him. Having been in the arts for as long as I have, and having crosstrained, I hope that it will be a part of his everyday life - not just a sport to him. So many kids take karate , just like they would soccer or baseball. It's good that they get the exposure to the arts, and it's not for everyone, but it's sad when people talk about their kid giving up martial arts just like they would a little league team. Seasons over, time to do something else.

We've started to really try to potty train Logan this week. As the wife has the week off, she has more expericne in doign it,so I let her take lead. Logan went thru a length phase of wanting to pee pee in the potty, but then that damn clog happened. Since then, he's been a bit stand offish regardign the potty. Not scared of it - he's gone on it a few times...rather just not as interested. We've been using big boy underwear with Spiderman, Hulk, and Bob (Sponge Bob AND Bob the Builder) as positive reinforcement for him to want to got pee pee on the potty. Couple of accidents to far, but that's to be expected.

OH OH OH _ I almost forgot - Logan made his first joke on Easter Sunday. (Back note: he had been hoping all over the house for a few days - it's his latest thing to do, and coinsides perfectly with easter). I woke up to his sitting next to me. He taps me on the forehead, and says "Daa - daa...knock knock knock". So, to be funny, I say " Who's there?". I never expected his to make a joke out of it. He says" Bun". (Short for Bunny). Im still in a sleepy haze, so I ask "Bunny who?". He LEAPS into the air, and starts hoppppping all over my blanket yelling "BUN HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP". I almost burst I laughed so hard!!!!!

Another funny thing that Logan has done lately is trying to hide. Not very effectively, but as he cant see me, he considered himself hid. Then, he jumps out and yells BOO!. He was hiding under the couch cushions the other day, and I was playing along........"Hmm. I wonder where Logan is." I look at the cat, and ask "Tigger, have you seen Logan?" The cat meows at me. I then said "Logan, have YOU seen Logan?" From under the cushions comes a small voice which says "no". Again, almost died from laughing so hard!

Well, not much else to talk about tonight. Tomorrow is another day -

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Easter 2005

Family news: Well, easter went off without much trouble. Really, not any trouble at all. The inlwas (they always have easter and Xmas over their house, as they have more family and larger houses) were sick, so we made dinner here. My mom made the traditional Catholic easter basket, complete with Paska (easter bread), kabasi, ham, easter eggs, and a cheese ball (actually, a large egg ball, with vanilla, sugar, and salt added.). For easter, Mom always comes over the saturday night before, after she attends a local mass. So, around 10pm Sat night, and again at 3pm Sunday - we feasted like Klingons!! For Sunday, we also roasted a chicken.

Although rain was coming soon, after we woke up, we geared up for an easter egg hunt. Despite my best hop hop hopping, as soon as the front door was opened, and Alicia said "Look who's's the Easter Bunny!"...Logan pointed and said "DADA!". So, we hop hop hopped together, then went on an egg hunt. Wish I had recorded it with the camcorder, but it's impossible to be the easter bunny, manage a 2 yr old and a 6 month old (he turns 6 months old tomorrow!!), and deal with camera and camcorders. Maybe I should hire a personal photographer to follow us around.

DOJO NEWS: Man, I swear this place never fails to piss me off. I passed up a last minute telegram (is was possible, not guarenteed) to attend saturdays 430pm Judo class. I was the only one there...and found a hand written sign on the door "No classes Saturday - see you Monday". Damn I was pissed. I made SURE that the instructor said he would be there. Between Strider (my name for the new instructor) and Kreese, seems like a plot to make sure I dont get in any classes on saturday. Im really into the jujitsu - finally feel it as a natural reaction rather than a learned responce. Same goes for the kung fu - soft style and circular are second nature to me now. But I really got to say that as soon as my contract is up - Im outta here. It may be hard finding an open minded dojo after this one (that will allow the practice of various arts), but it'll be nice ot knwo that classes are actually held, not just on paper to look good. Many students, instead of a struggle to find a workout partner week to week. I also think Im going to try to network with some people over the web - see if they'd be willing to share info on the arts I want more from (like kung fu weapons and such). I may also check out that local Aikido dojo - but after taking jujitsu, it seems dumb to study a limited form of what I want to know. Specially when I want to vary my arts like I do - Tae Kwon Do for cardio, kenpo
+ kung fu and jujitsu for defending and controlling an atacker - brazillian jj for takign it to the ground.

SPRING BREAK - the wife has the week off for Spring break - and of course, it supposed to rain. I need to find things that we can do that will involve getting either her or all of us out of the house.

RANDOM THOUGHT: Between Kohls, McDonalds, and those little tarts on the Disney channel, Im getting sick and fed up of that song "Do you belive in magic?".

Well. enough for one night. Off to cruise the web in search of wisdom and mispelled words.

Lance, Logan and daddy..oops, I mean the Easter Bunny !! Posted by Hello

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Darth Peep Posted by Hello

Smoooooooooch Posted by Hello

Darth Hop and Darth Peep Posted by Hello

Saturday, March 19, 2005

The trouble with ME and YOU

Man, I never thought realized that a few works can wrap me up faster than my jujitsu instructor. ME and YOU. Logan, when he wants to come along, or be picked up, will start saying "ME ME ME". This is fine....he understand that to him, me is self. But the other day, he started saying YOU, and pointing to himself. This is where the chaos began. He points at himself and says "You". I point at him and say "you", and he knods his head in agreement. I think - wait a minute - that's not right. I point at myself and say "ME", he points and says "you". This is technically correct, but I still don't think he has the right idea here. At some point here, I managed to place on of my own feet in my mouth , cause what started to coem out of my mouth made no sense, even to me. "No honey, Im ME and Your YOU. When YOU point at YOU, YOU say ME. Not ME as in ME, but as in YOU. You're ME, and Im YOU. No wait...shit...that's not right either!. Im me - Your YOU,,,,,,but when you point at ME, you say YOU". I fainlly gave up. I took his hand, and pointed his own finger at himself, and said "ME". THen I pointed his finger at other people and said "You...YOU....YOU ..and YOU". Hopefully, I didn't damage his for life.

WIFE NEWS: Ok..I admit weak. We all have our moments when, in our quest to stand to a much higher purpose, we stumble on our journey. Last night, well....I finally had enough at not having any. So much for my "turn HER down" attitude. We talked a bit about my lack of action..and I thought I got thru...till she turned me down today during the kids dual nap time. It worked out ok, i guess, cause as soon as she started to explain how "unfair " it was, both the little leprachauns srang back awake and started crying. But...just as you think your topped the list of "shit that dissapointed me today" list, I made the mistake of stopping off at Wendy's. Not the best food Ive ever had there. A few hours later, i decided to ventrue to the local Sonic, for some fries and a few corndogs. They gave me pancake on a stick instead (same fried outside, but a sausage in side, instead of a hotdog). These are very good, but I was planning on going for those tomorrow mourning. I seriously think that anywhere you go to eat, they just dont give a damn about how you want, or what you want. Bla bla bla, $5.89. It would actually be refreshing if one time, after asking "Did you get the part about no pickles?", if the cashier woudl just say " I really dont give a shit. Neither does the cook. And the manager? Shit, her man just walked otu on her, so dont think she be caring bout your needs either. Just be lucky I came to work today at all, cause I damn sure got better things to be doin than listen to you customize your food."

TRUCK NEWS: I finally managed to midofy the truck hood so that both the primary and auxilliary hood latched work. Had to fabricate some metal pieces, but it seems to work and look ok. TO pass state inspection (due next month), both "hood hold down devices" must work. I know I need to buy a new hood, but Im concerned that the body of the truck is warped form the impact of the druck driver, and a new hood wont fit right. Only one way to find out, though. Tomorrow, I'll se if I can escape from the family for a while and work on the stereo. It's been killin me not to have all my "stuff" hooked up. I finally managed to remove the stock radio , and replaced it with my mp3/cd stereo. Now to deal with adding more speakers, a few amps, a sub woofer, an equalizer, and such. I've always had an awesome sounding system in my Firebird, but when the transmission went, I removed everything, and havent installed it yet. Nothign to buy - just need time to run wires, and make it look pretty (or hide it pretty well).

HEARSE NEWS: Holy shit! Gas has now reached over $2 a gallon. Who the hell do they think they are kidding with that 9/10 th BS? "Did you see how expensive gas is today? But at least is was only $2.05 and 9/10ths. Could have been worse, and been $2.06". At this rate, I may never again be able to afford cruising around in my hearses. If you are driving around, and see a man driving a black or gold hearse (440cui and 472cui respectively), and weeping like a's not cause Ive lost a loved's cause the gas was so expensive.

DOJO NEWS: Adam passed his orange belt test. That means that Ive got to get on the ball about preparing for my green belt test soon. The color order is white- yellow- orange- green-blue - brown - brown - brown - then black. But even though we are still in the lower ranks, I think we have learned quite a bit. If this was a karate style, we'd be startign to get geared up for harder techniques. I feel that in jujitsu, although there are harder things for us to learn, we're finally starting to get a feel for the moves becoming "second nature". Before, it was "twist the arm THIS way, or it's wrong" Now, its more like "Twist is THIS way, and it's technique A - twist it the OTHER way, and ..hey, its technique B. Neat."

Im glad taht we have a new instructor at the dojo, but Ive been going over some stuff in my head, and having some problems with what's Ive been reviewing. The new guy has mentioned a few times that, (since his father has passed, and obviously is not a contact for info )the new 'head guy' that lives out of state, has sent him some dvds on the techniques and how to teach them (or something liek that). Now..I dont mind learning stuff I dont know from a brown belt - and I guess Im ok with him laying claim to the kindai ryu name (as part of an inheirited legacy form his dad), but when I think that he's coming to class, and teachign me from a dvd......I started thinking "Burn me a copy". I can learn from dvd too. Dont need a middle man. Gonna have to ponder that a bit.

Hey, if anyone reading this blog of mine takes Kung Fu, PLEASE drop me a line. Id like to get some resources for weapons training, and forns, and things like that. Cant find much on the web, and dont want to buy a bunch of dvds that end up being worthless.

Think I hear the baby crying....see ya'l later

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Logan and Lance just having fun. Posted by Hello

Darth Lance in his belly puich, on our recent Zoo trip. Posted by Hello

"Leave me alone - Im eating" Posted by Hello

Darth Logan and the Emporer(ess) Posted by Hello

Progress and Success (with everything except sex)

Thought of my day: I hereby move to make the word DAD verb. No longer will I be
satisfiied to have the word DAD considered a simple title (although much higher in rank
than FATHER). I was doing some mental word play today , and I thought about the word
BUILDING. It can be a physical place (A noun), or can refer to the act of creating (a
verb). ALl without any spelling change. Thus, it led me to the ward DAD.
“What do you do for a living?” some ask me. I used to say “Im a stay at home dad”.
Now, I think I’ll just say that I DAD (professionally).

DOJO NEWS: Heart to heart time. Well, almost. Without all that sappy muchy shit that
is involved when chicks have heart to hearts. After a very nice review class for Adam
(who is testing for Orange belt on Wednesday), and a nice hour sharing class with the
new judo/jujitsu teacher, I got some private time with the new judo / jujitsu instructor as
well as my Sifu.. Tried to fill in the new guy about some of the bullshit that goes on , and
not to get disheartened by it (and what to expect). Also explained that I was in it for the
knowledge, expecailly since I cant afford $50 a belt. I explained how I was going to test
in kung fu, but then they (the evil THEY) decided to jack the price of the test from $15 to
$50. He understood. Sifu was present at the time, as we were the only ones left in the
dojo. Once the new teacher left, I decided to take advantage of the time to talk to sifu
about some things. Like how he said he’d loan me some movies, then never did. Like
how Ms Thing was a major pain in my ass, and was driving me away from classes when
she attended. I tried to express that I respected him as a teacher, but sometimes, the
classes were stressing me out. I hope I got thru to him - it seemed like he took what I
said with an open mind. He also said he’d bring in some movies for me.(Kung Fu

DARK LORDS OF MY SITH: What can I say ? Both of the kids have been very VERY
good this week (well, the last few days - I just remembered it’s only Monday). BUT - we
are goign on the 10th straight day without daddy having a break. Logan’s tyrannical
outbreaks have ben almost non-existant, or easily de-escalated when the begin. Lance
has started to babble, and thinks he is carrying on a conversation. He’ll be sitting there,
and “bla ballaaad dadadadadadad”. To look at him, he looks liek he’s really talking.
And he’s definitely throwign DADADADA into the mix!! HURRAH!! One problem Im
having, that I hadn’t expected though - when Im out of the room, and Lance starts to
bable, and say DADA, it sounds EXACTLY (mind you, im in a different room , and its
muffled) like Logan. I expected them to look alike - but guess sounding alike never
crossed my mind.


Well, that’s about it - I’ll see if I can find some cute pics to post...

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Sunday night

I forgot to mention that, on friday night, I dj'ed a wedding reception. The bride was a former employee of mine. When the told me she was getting married, she asked if I could refer a decent dj. I told her not to worry, then did the job myself, as a gift to the young couple.

Im a bit confused by something in the jujitsu styles Im learning. Hakko Ryu claims to be the "Eigth light", and Kindai Ryu claims to be the "Seventh light". The Kindai website states that the 7th light refers to the "modern era". If so, what the hell does the 8th light refer to? The future? Is this a great art for a sci fi fan, or what? And just what are these lights? What happened to the first thru 6th? How many more are there? At first, I thought they may be like lights in a spectrum, but ROY G BIV has only 7 letters in his name.

Had a really good Kung FU class last Thursday. While going over the 12 level fist (types of punches - from the Lo Han style), sifu showed me that there was more to it than simple punches. He defended a punch with 1 punch, redirected it with a second, locked the attacke rup with a third, and hip-threw them using a forth fist. I thought WOW - all that without grappling, or opening his fists. Pretty spiffy. I also was the only one that he was showing this to, so it kinda made me feel taht he had confidence that I was progressing enough to be shown something that the others weren't ready for.

The kids were great today. I managed to unload the dj equipment fromthe truck, and loaded up the kids for a raod trip. Small drive around, visit to a chinese resteraunt for lunch, then more touring of the neighborhoods. Even though Logan is just sitting down, and not running all over the place, getting him out of the house does wonders for his disposition. Mine too, I admit. I hate feeling penned in .

I was thinking today...I'd really like to write a movie. It would star Paris Hilton, both Olson twins,Jennifer Lopez, Jack Black, Madonna, Ben Afflack and Matt Damon, Matthew Maconahay, Jessica Simpson, and any Baldwin brother. The plot of the film is irrelavent. The purpose, however, would be to get these assholes out of the limelight for about a year, make sure they aren't in any other movie, and would be out of everyones hair . These people remind me of a herpes outbreak (not firsthand knowledge): Just when you though tyou;'ve heard the last of it, BAM..another friggin interview or movie about some shit they did, or would like to do, or what they wore to some party. Enough already. Who are these jackasses that think I cant get thru a day in my humble life without knowing that Jessica did today, or what Paris said at some uppity shindig? We shoudl find these executives, crazy glue their eye lids open, and make them watch reruns of Barney Miller for 10 days straight. (no scratch that - my grandfather actually liked Barney Miller - let's make it 7th Heaven).

One more saturday thing

When Logan and I venture dout today, we went to a store for some clothes for him. The clerk (a lady) that rang us up asked "You shop with him for clothes? That so husband did it once , and said he'd never do it again." I had to laugh. All we were doign is shopping. She should see me when I have Lance on my chest (in this ALICE pack styled carrier, with accessories that resemble some spec ops gear), and Logan being held with my left arm. Shopping is easy. Catch me when it's time to feed, or diaper time. Im in rare form then. I put most dads, and wuite a number of so called "mothers" to shame.

Just tooting my own horn....

Saturday - we spent all day in our pajamas

Wow - a whole weeks worth of stuff.....sorry to leave things hanging like I did.

Let’s see - Im trying to remember the weeks events..and all that I missed blogging about..

First of all, there was a 1am emergency trip to the hospital. Turns out the wife has has abad hemroid, and it started bleeding really bad. (And I thought that I was the only pain inthe ass she had!). Everythign turned out ok...grandma came over and watched thesleepign kids fo rus. Neither one woke up, and we were home by 3am.

Medical info (somewhat graphic, but also somewhat funny): A hemroid, or piles (as theyused to be called), is actually a very pissed off vein . Something happens to trigger it(like a king kong poop, or something watching 7th Heaven, cause that showsure lights a fire under my ass...God, I hate that show!!....oops, sidetracked there...), andthe vein starts to swell. If it swells enough, it can actually pop out for a look. I had towatch an ER Dr. easy one back in...nasty. When we were finished, I told her that sinceshe had her 3some, now I wanted mine...but with a cheerleader! Anyways, somethingscan reduse the swelling of the vein, like witch hazel, a warm bath, epsom salt in the bathwater, and shoving icicles where the sun dont shine (ok ok just a joke...dont try that lastone !!). If the pressure becomes bad enough, the hemroid may stretch the vein so much,that blood will seep thru the membrain. This is what is called a bleeding hemroid. It can actually be a good thing (sometimes) because the bleeding will reduce the pressure, the swelling, and the discomfort.

DOJO NEWS: Still no scheduled classes for the capiera guy. Guess he’s just supposed tobe like those snow globes we keep in the china cabinet (look, but no play). We got a newJudo/jujitsu teacher. Seems like a neat guy. He’s the son of a big name sensei (who has since passed away). He never made it to black belt, and sports an honorary one. It will be interesting to to see if he knows his stuff. Only had 1class so far with him.

KID NEWS: Darth Lance has now started to babble like a pro. He moved his mouth likehe is really trying to talk, and (big AND) in the last few days, has started throwingdadadada into that babble. Oh YEAH!! Darth Logan has had a very good week (as far as2 yr olds go). We aborted one lunch trip to Arby’s (we were in line, and had to walk out)caus ehe was being a turd, but that was the only big incident I can think of. The onlytroubles Im having with Logan seem to be related to standard 2yr old issues. As far astheir interaction, it couldn’t be better. Logan is still a big rough with the baby, but out ofplayfullness. Logan tends to his baby brother like a gardener to a prize rose bush. Baby cries, Logan gets daddy...or tries to calm Lance himself. Logan came into the kitchen the other day , when I was makign breakfast, and asked for a few gramcracker cookies. Igave him a few, and booted him out of the kitchen. The baby was crying in thebackground, then stopped. I went to investigate, and found the baby suckign away on aSponge Bob cracker that big brother shared with him. It was sweet, but at the same timenot a gret thing (chokign hazzard for the baby). No one got hurt, and I was glad to see that even at the age of 2, I have instilled a sense of empathy on my son. He seldom gets jelous of the baby, and often times will refuse things (like food or diaper change), until we tend to the crying Lance. Very heartwarming.

WIFE: Ok, I cut her some slack with the whole butt bleed thing. I can understand whyshe was a bit standoffish. Clock was reset, and will start at a later date. I still think shecould be a bit more attending. Like asking me how my day was. Or taking an interest inwhere MY booboo is (from the dojo, or just from a hard day), instead of rushing to tellme hers, thereby escaping any crazy requests, like “Can you scratch my back?”. Sometimes, my wife can really be a cold fish. (There, I said it). Ive started to complainabout my aches as soon as she walks in the door, so I can beat her to the punch. Theother day, she told me that she viewed her grades, and so far, in her graduate program,she’s got all A’s. I wanted to cheer and throw a party for her, but at the same time, i wasfuming at her not takign any interest in how I was doing. How’s your day been? Tell mehow the kids have been. Anythign new going on you want to talk about? (God, I soundlike such a woman! Gotta be all those Dr. Phil shows Ive been watching. Bald headedjackass. Part of he hates him cause he’s such a pompous ass.......the other part of me hates him cause he’s doing the SAME DAMNED STYLED THERAPY that I was developing. Incidentally, between my forward therapy style, my being a male exotic dancer, and mylack of shame to hide either, I was almost booted out of my graduate program.) That will lead me to my next rant.......
OLD DOMINION UNIVERSITY COUSELING DEPARTMENT: Here, my friends, we have the biggest, most disppointing piece of shit that you can ever waste 2 years of your life on. The head of the department had previously dated (and knocked up) a grad student, fallen from grace, and kissed enough ass to get his job back. Add a useless program to the mix (I can teach you what I learned in about 3 months), tight assed tenure seeking professors, and a mentally fucked multicultural/diversity teacher, and you have all the makings of a nightmare of epic proportion. I never made it a secret that I don’t play politics. I generally kiss all the wrong ass, so now refuse to kiss any. I wasn’t willing to be a cookie cutter counselor,and wanted to go into sex therapy. I found out too late that I should have said “couples”therapy. SAME SHIT-- more acceptable name to these pricks (sorry - penile personalitiedindividuals). .I was made out to be the whipping boy for my lack of shame at wanting todeal with sex (theraputically), my pride in my job, my ability to mix humor and therapy,and my lack of caring how many ethnic minorities we hired or herded into the program. Iwas set up for a fake meeting the day of my birthday (the last day of classes before the looooooong ass christmas break). I showed up for a teacher/student meeting, to talk about apaper I wrote, and was ambushed. The meeting was with the dean of the college, the dean of the department, and this psycho teacher bitch (Dr. Julie Ancis). Needless to say,I tried to hold my own, but was devastated to learn that I was being kicked out of theskool, AND being brought up on trumped up charges of sexual harassment. On top of that, the teacher falsified my grades, and tried to give me a lower grade for the course (I kept all my test sheets, and was able to reverse her grade to a higher one). What a bitch. I hate ODU with a passion. The only time I remember likeing, when I went there, was when I got a call to do a stipogram for the girls basketball team. (Of course, come to find out later, they were all lesbians--no wonder I didnt get laid!)

FUNNY PERSONAL NOTE: I actually was hired one night, to dance at a gay bar .....forLesbian Night. It was $45 base pay, and whatever tips we got. I walked out of there with$46. I was either ignored, and given evil stairs when I approached any table. Have I gotsome stories to tell. Maybe I should start making this blog formatted, with reoccuring topic areas like : The DOJO, THE KIDS, STUPID SHIT IVE DONE, and so forth.

Well, got to be goign now. The wife signed up for some weekened course (therebybooting any hope I had to workign this weekend), and I got to get some rest. She leavesaround 630-7am, and returns home around 4 or so. So this week, i’ve been pulling fulltime daddy duty (and doooty) for 6 straight days, and 7 tomorrow. She came home intime for me to leave for the dojo today (a saturday judo class), but she didnt leave enough“transition” time, to keep Logan from freaking. I missed the class. Instead, I packed upLogan and headed out for some US time. Lance got to stay home with the tired wife, andher headache, and her....ah, whatever. Logan and I walked around a carnival (at a localmall parkign lot), got a bite to eat, andjust enjoyed the time together.
Till tomorrow.........

Saturday, March 05, 2005 neat blog name to think of

Tody, in a blog I follow, i read about “Reasons people leave karate”. Interesting thoughts
on the matter, ,
and I had one of my own.

I’d like to address the practical aplication (day to day) of what we learn. Not to put down
karate, and praise kung fu (I still consider myself more of a japanese stylesd martial
artists), but when I was only taking karate, there weren't many situations ( in real life,
outside the dojo, and not involving fighting) where I could practice/use what I had
learned. I could shut a defiant freezer door with a stunningly high (and slow) side kick,
but not much else. When i started taking kung fu, and started thinking in circular
paterns, I started to notice how to incorporate these into everyday life. EX: Sit a toddle
ron your lap, and try to use karate to remove a drink (sitting in front of him) before he
spils it. Karate uses a pt1 to ptb mentality, that isn't practical. Now, stick your elbow to
the ceiling, (creating an iverted V with your arm, bring your hand around the side of the
toddlers head, across the front, grab the drink, and continue the circle. That could be a
'dragon" styled technique. Useful for self defense - and practical in everyday life. Karate
doesn't seem to offer as many of these. Wish it did.

Another example: (in fun) Try to snatch a paci out of a toddlers mouth. Do with with a
karate punch, and you got a lawsuit on your hands. Punches are forceful, and not
applicable to playing like this. BUT, a snake or crane technique will allow you to use
speed and precision, and leave power out of it. I’ve also been practicing hand speed with
our cats. Much easier to do when you know you won’t hurt the cat.

Overall, it just seems that when you learn karate, you learn it for self defense or to get in
better shape. If your life is not in danger, or you are not ready to “work out”, you don’t
use it very much in everyday applications. Kung Fu, on the other hand, tends to use
lessons that you can see everyday. You can use them everyday. You start to realize that
you have been doing the motions all your life. With karate , it’s an issue of “learning
new things”. WIth Kung Fu, it’s a matter of using what you already know (how your
body already moves - how YOU already move your body), and applying it to self defense.

DOJO NEWS: Decent week. Adam was missing (hope you aren’t sick bud!), but things
went ok otherwise. Got to work with a new kid (BIG kid in size, about 16 or so in age) in
JJ. Tursdays KF class was very nice - he had a hand out of the 12 deadly fists. Im having
trouble mixing up the whipping punch and the hanging punch. Whipping punch is
delivered from side to side, while the hanging punch is like an up to down backfist. I
keep wanting to do the dropping backfist for the whipping punch - I got this image of
Indiana Jones in my head, and a whip come from over the head, not from side to side.
Gonna have to work that one out. (I will list the 12 punches later, if anyone is
interested). Anyways, we had a hand out, we had a good class, Ms Thing wasn’t
there..all was good. One thing that’s hard to get used to is the teaching style of the sifu.
He’ll show you how he wants you to do the technique. If you do it differently, he’ll
correct you. Then, out of nowhere, we’ll correct you anyways (even if youve been doign
it as he showed you). He’ll tell you that you are supposed to do it “this way” (“Turn that
foot more - drop that hand to the other side”...etc). WHen you ask him “didn’t you just
say to do it the other way?”, he’ll say......”No, I showed you THIS way, not that way. But
that way would also be possible, if it gets the job done. Remember, ther eis no right or
wrong...only moves”. I just wish he’d figure out what MOVES he wants to teach, and get
them straight in his head before class. It’s cool to learn different moves - it’s cool to
learn variations of loves - it’s frustrating to try and copy a move from him, and have him
switch it on you as you are learning.

ITS THE WEEKEND: that means the kids are the vicitm of how mommy thinks the
schedule should be. (NOTE TO THE WIFE)::::If you are reading this, hon, we really
need to start talking about cooperative effort on the weekends. I run the show Mon-Fri.
This gets the kids in a pattern that works. Sat and Sun come (if I don’t have work), and
BAM ---the way I settle them down is thrown out the window. Logan goes overtop of
gates like they weren’t there. When I need to go upstairs, and get some work done, it
would be helpful of you to make some kind of effort to entertain the kids. You haven’t
seen them all something with them. Somthing other than letting the baby
scream in his swing, and Logan run up the stairs and get al in my stuff. I cannot return
calls for business with a 2 yr old gettign into all my things. The room is still a mess, and
not ready for unnatended toddlers. I put all my dangerous shit up HERE-- so the kids
wouldn’t get them...not to have them come up here to get hurt. Get a clue - lend a hand,
help a daddy out here. Im sinking in bills, and can’t make money if I dont run the phones
a little.
WIth love , your husband.

PS. In case you haven’t noticed, we’re still not having sex. This isn’t by accident, but by
choice now. Don’t expect any anytime soon, either. Ive decided that my Great American
Sex-Out doesn’t officially start until YOU ask me for some quality time. Will then,
we’re on your dime, and the meters running baby!

KID NEWS: Both have been doing just fine. When they won’t nap, Ive started driving
them around the neighborhood to knock them out. So far, so good.

As promised, my next post will have something to do with religiosity and raising the kids.
I’ll even throw my dislike of media glamourized homosexulaity and having
multiculturalism force fed (just for laughs).

(I hear a baby crying ...time to get back to work..)

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

I should be Oops.

Been so busy with the kids that updating the blog has come to a screaching halt. Can’t
believe I’ve let so many days go by without typing something.’s what’s

Darth Logan (2 yrs 2 month): Still prone to unexpected fits or rage.....his face turns red,
he starts lookin gfor anything and everything to throw (often at me), he screams BAD
BAD BAD at me....I’ve adopted the soft approach, as the hard style was only fueling the
fire. I’ve been staying very him some space, while keeping on him (to
show that this type of behavior is not acceptable). I keep my voice low, and keep tellign
him that he’s not being nice, that Daddy is not BAD, and that he is making me very sad.
Sometimes this alone will cause him to snap out of it. Other times (the worse times), I
end up havin gto physically (but gently) carry his ass to his room, set him down on the
bed, and close the gate behind me. I give him a minute or two to work it out....then
approach the gate, and see if he’s ready to be a good boy. This approach has been very
successful. He’ll start saying “ok”....”ok” (meaning that he understands he needs to be
nice, and is now compliant). Sure wish I knew what sets him off like’s never a
constant stimulus, like changing a diaper, or putting on shoes, although he does tend to
wig out when there is somethign that must be done (like chaning a dirty diaper, putting
on a jacket when it’s cold outside). Most times, these actions elicit a positive
response...he cant wait to pick out/put on hios own jacket....diaper time is fine, as long as
I use baby powder (per his request). Then BAM - a shitfit out of left field, over
somethign that we’ve done several times (even that day). Im hanging in there....holding
my ground while remaining flexible to conform to ...oh bla bla bla. Sounds like Im
writting another friggin psych paper for my graduate degree. Simply put, this kid really
makes me clueless sometimes. Im trying a mix of “what I studied in skool” + what I
used in practice + making up shit as I go along. Guess you kno wyou’ve done the
right/wrong thing either when they get kids of their own, or when the police come
knocking at the door at 4am some night)

Darth Lance (5 months old today!!): If this kid gets any cuter, he’s likely to explode. I
hate to say that he didnt hafve much personality at first (but he didnt..specially compared
to his brother), but he’s really REALLY coem around. He’s an attention hog, will laugh
and giggle and smile at you, and cry as soon as you look away. I must say, Id rather that
than have him develope some antisocial personality. He’s started giving me razzzberries
when he is unhappy. And talking......this kid is gonna be yacking my ear off in a month
or so. No words yet (like dada), but man can he tell a story!

The Emporer(ess): Darth Wife: Ok - a great disturbance in the force to report here.
She’s been gettign stressed out at work/because of work, and havin a short fuse with the
kids. Of course, as a humble jedi father must, I draw the fire and often stick myself in
the line of fire. I figure, if she’s lacking patience with the babies, I have ot her her yell.
If she’s pissed at ALL MALE MEMBERS of the household, noen of us have to hear her
bitch!(HEHEHEHHEHEH) . She was ok today when she got home from work, although
we really didnt see that much of each other. She took the reins after a short food outting,
and I was off to the dojo. I came home early, to find everyone in good spirits.

Darth Daddy: Well, here it is.....Ive decided to go on a sex strike. Now this is a
dangerous thing to do, to spite a woman who is a sexual camel (one good hump, and she
can go for months). In my experience (and I wont name names/dates cause Im still not
sure if she’s reading this), Ive never had anyone turn me down cause I took too long, or
the car was too large for the garage. Imagine conditioning yourself for a tournament, and
being turned away cause you are too good at the sport. Added to this all these
goddamned comercials I see for Cialis, and other “male enhancements”. (Side note: if an
errection lasts for more than 4 hours, Im not calling a doctor....Im calling a few hookers
and a film crew - and someone at Ripley’s!)

Oh shit...Logan is up and headed to the living room - BRB....

(15 mintues later)

Ok got off lucky - caught him before he started crying, and he fall back asleep. More
on this later....

I wash - I really do - but for some reason , the wife is “infenction” prone becuase of sex.
We can go weeks without, then one time and BAm - urinary trac infection. THis is
----shit..he’s headign out agian...brb---

Ok - I leave the sex-out for the moment - Im sure none of that info is thrilling any
readers. Lets move on to my daily schedule....

Around 3-4am, the baby wakes up, and can be put back down after a 6 oz bottle.
Usually, Im either just goign to bed as he starts crying, or have gotten only 1-2 hours
sleep at this point.

Around 630-730, baby wants to feed again. OR - Logan wakes up. Sometimes, after
slipping away to feed the baby, Logan wakes up, thereby destroyign any hope sI had of
putting the baby back down, and goign back to sleep.

Once up , it’s time for cartoon (Wiggles, Peep, Paz, Hi-5, and Todds World- i hate Todds
world). Todds world is nothing more than multiculturalism disguised as a cartoon,
forcing feeding “We all are different, but we all are the same” shit to kids. Mor eon this
at a later blog.

After a cartoon has been decided on, it’s time for breakfast. Toaster waffles are a
blessing. Also, microwave pancakes, but I sometimes like to make eggs and sausage for
us too (If I can stay awake and not set mysef on fire).

Sometime around 10am, Lance falls asleep. He sleeps for an hour or so, and wakes at
11ish. By this time, we’ve watched hours of cartoon, or have selected a movie to watch.
Logan is supposed to(and I use the word SUPPOSED to lightly) go down for a nap
around 12ish. By this time, he needs a nap, and I need a break. If Im lucky, both will
nap from 12 or 1 - and give me an hour alone. Most times now,as Logan goes down,
Lance rises. I use the time to bond.

Now it’s about 1 or so, and Im thinking LUNCH! We make some lunch, and pop in a
movie. All appropriate stuff - Karate Kid, Scooby Doo 1 and 2, Star Wars, Farscape..I let
him choose - I really doo). Mommy comes home around 330-430, and wants to take a
leak, and sit for a while. Mind you, no transferance of power exists yet. Im still pulling
duty here. After 15 minutes or so, she suggest going out to eat, and the melee ensues.
What was a simple task of gettign both kids ready is now compounded (and conFounded)
by all the excitment that “mama is home”. This is where her stress starts to rear it’s ugly
head. Most times, it works best to send her out the car with the baby, and I wrangle the
older boy. This is not only effective, but saves the boy a lot of mess.

430-6 We feast as if we were Klingons!!!

6pm - We return home, and some nights, I head off to the dojo. Some nights this is ok
with Logan, other nights he has a break down , yellign ME MEE MEEEEEE! He
wants to come too. I eventually break away, and head off to what I hope is a decent night
of martial arts . What I encounter is teachers not showing up, or being the only on in
class (not always bad), or having the entire experience derailed by some pretty little flirty
bitch who wants all the attention in class. AHGHGHGHHGGH.

9pm Return home - some times the kids are asleep...some night not. Logan goes down
shortly afterwards, Lance is on his own schedule. I now have an hour to spend with the
wife, although she is already initiated “sequence shut down mode”. At 10-11 she stops
sleepign on the couch, adn heads off to the bedroom. I stay up and watch
movies/computer/whatever. I cant sleep yet.

Midnight to 1am - Logan awakes, grabs his pillow and blanket, and comes out to the
living room. He plops his stuff down, and goes right back to sleep. If I take him back to
his bed (either before he polps down,or afterwards) he will get so upset that he will wake
up the baby. That would mean twice the work for me. Sooooo - I have been sleeping on
the livingroom floor, next to the olders jedi child in the house. I dont mind the gets him back to sleep, and sometimes makes me go to bed early (or risk
wakign him). Remember, this is now 1am, which means that the baby may wake up in a
few hours and want a bottle. And the cycle starts all over again.

Wow - I’d drained just writting all that.

Now - take into account that Im a braod shouldered 6ft, 220lb dude (ex cop, rode a
motorcycle, bla bla bla). Being turned down for “quality time” not only doesn’t amuse
me, but also bring the whole “male image/role” into question. I don’t doubt my
“maleness” cause I raise my kids. I think I am pretty damn good at what I do..and I don’t
considered it sissy work. I dare any other dude to try my “job” for a week. The diapers
alone would make most men cry. But something has to give soon. THe dojo needs to get
it’s shit together, or I need a 19 yr old massage therapist take a keen interest in me or
something. Im supposed to be Darth Daddy. Instead , Im starting to feel like Yoda.

“For 2 years have changed diapers - my own counsel will I keep on who is to be changed!
Yessssss”. It really sounded better than it looks in type.

Well - that’s my life for tonight. Next time, I hope to address the issues of religion, why
most of them have a flaw (or just plain out suck), and how the hell Im supposed to bring
religiosity to the children.

Night all - time to put Blade Runner on, and await Logan’s 2am arrival..........

(In my head, I hear that song/commercial ..”And the wheel ......goes round.....and round”.
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