Adventures of Darth Daddy

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Saturday - we spent all day in our pajamas

Wow - a whole weeks worth of stuff.....sorry to leave things hanging like I did.

Let’s see - Im trying to remember the weeks events..and all that I missed blogging about..

First of all, there was a 1am emergency trip to the hospital. Turns out the wife has has abad hemroid, and it started bleeding really bad. (And I thought that I was the only pain inthe ass she had!). Everythign turned out ok...grandma came over and watched thesleepign kids fo rus. Neither one woke up, and we were home by 3am.

Medical info (somewhat graphic, but also somewhat funny): A hemroid, or piles (as theyused to be called), is actually a very pissed off vein . Something happens to trigger it(like a king kong poop, or something watching 7th Heaven, cause that showsure lights a fire under my ass...God, I hate that show!!....oops, sidetracked there...), andthe vein starts to swell. If it swells enough, it can actually pop out for a look. I had towatch an ER Dr. easy one back in...nasty. When we were finished, I told her that sinceshe had her 3some, now I wanted mine...but with a cheerleader! Anyways, somethingscan reduse the swelling of the vein, like witch hazel, a warm bath, epsom salt in the bathwater, and shoving icicles where the sun dont shine (ok ok just a joke...dont try that lastone !!). If the pressure becomes bad enough, the hemroid may stretch the vein so much,that blood will seep thru the membrain. This is what is called a bleeding hemroid. It can actually be a good thing (sometimes) because the bleeding will reduce the pressure, the swelling, and the discomfort.

DOJO NEWS: Still no scheduled classes for the capiera guy. Guess he’s just supposed tobe like those snow globes we keep in the china cabinet (look, but no play). We got a newJudo/jujitsu teacher. Seems like a neat guy. He’s the son of a big name sensei (who has since passed away). He never made it to black belt, and sports an honorary one. It will be interesting to to see if he knows his stuff. Only had 1class so far with him.

KID NEWS: Darth Lance has now started to babble like a pro. He moved his mouth likehe is really trying to talk, and (big AND) in the last few days, has started throwingdadadada into that babble. Oh YEAH!! Darth Logan has had a very good week (as far as2 yr olds go). We aborted one lunch trip to Arby’s (we were in line, and had to walk out)caus ehe was being a turd, but that was the only big incident I can think of. The onlytroubles Im having with Logan seem to be related to standard 2yr old issues. As far astheir interaction, it couldn’t be better. Logan is still a big rough with the baby, but out ofplayfullness. Logan tends to his baby brother like a gardener to a prize rose bush. Baby cries, Logan gets daddy...or tries to calm Lance himself. Logan came into the kitchen the other day , when I was makign breakfast, and asked for a few gramcracker cookies. Igave him a few, and booted him out of the kitchen. The baby was crying in thebackground, then stopped. I went to investigate, and found the baby suckign away on aSponge Bob cracker that big brother shared with him. It was sweet, but at the same timenot a gret thing (chokign hazzard for the baby). No one got hurt, and I was glad to see that even at the age of 2, I have instilled a sense of empathy on my son. He seldom gets jelous of the baby, and often times will refuse things (like food or diaper change), until we tend to the crying Lance. Very heartwarming.

WIFE: Ok, I cut her some slack with the whole butt bleed thing. I can understand whyshe was a bit standoffish. Clock was reset, and will start at a later date. I still think shecould be a bit more attending. Like asking me how my day was. Or taking an interest inwhere MY booboo is (from the dojo, or just from a hard day), instead of rushing to tellme hers, thereby escaping any crazy requests, like “Can you scratch my back?”. Sometimes, my wife can really be a cold fish. (There, I said it). Ive started to complainabout my aches as soon as she walks in the door, so I can beat her to the punch. Theother day, she told me that she viewed her grades, and so far, in her graduate program,she’s got all A’s. I wanted to cheer and throw a party for her, but at the same time, i wasfuming at her not takign any interest in how I was doing. How’s your day been? Tell mehow the kids have been. Anythign new going on you want to talk about? (God, I soundlike such a woman! Gotta be all those Dr. Phil shows Ive been watching. Bald headedjackass. Part of he hates him cause he’s such a pompous ass.......the other part of me hates him cause he’s doing the SAME DAMNED STYLED THERAPY that I was developing. Incidentally, between my forward therapy style, my being a male exotic dancer, and mylack of shame to hide either, I was almost booted out of my graduate program.) That will lead me to my next rant.......
OLD DOMINION UNIVERSITY COUSELING DEPARTMENT: Here, my friends, we have the biggest, most disppointing piece of shit that you can ever waste 2 years of your life on. The head of the department had previously dated (and knocked up) a grad student, fallen from grace, and kissed enough ass to get his job back. Add a useless program to the mix (I can teach you what I learned in about 3 months), tight assed tenure seeking professors, and a mentally fucked multicultural/diversity teacher, and you have all the makings of a nightmare of epic proportion. I never made it a secret that I don’t play politics. I generally kiss all the wrong ass, so now refuse to kiss any. I wasn’t willing to be a cookie cutter counselor,and wanted to go into sex therapy. I found out too late that I should have said “couples”therapy. SAME SHIT-- more acceptable name to these pricks (sorry - penile personalitiedindividuals). .I was made out to be the whipping boy for my lack of shame at wanting todeal with sex (theraputically), my pride in my job, my ability to mix humor and therapy,and my lack of caring how many ethnic minorities we hired or herded into the program. Iwas set up for a fake meeting the day of my birthday (the last day of classes before the looooooong ass christmas break). I showed up for a teacher/student meeting, to talk about apaper I wrote, and was ambushed. The meeting was with the dean of the college, the dean of the department, and this psycho teacher bitch (Dr. Julie Ancis). Needless to say,I tried to hold my own, but was devastated to learn that I was being kicked out of theskool, AND being brought up on trumped up charges of sexual harassment. On top of that, the teacher falsified my grades, and tried to give me a lower grade for the course (I kept all my test sheets, and was able to reverse her grade to a higher one). What a bitch. I hate ODU with a passion. The only time I remember likeing, when I went there, was when I got a call to do a stipogram for the girls basketball team. (Of course, come to find out later, they were all lesbians--no wonder I didnt get laid!)

FUNNY PERSONAL NOTE: I actually was hired one night, to dance at a gay bar .....forLesbian Night. It was $45 base pay, and whatever tips we got. I walked out of there with$46. I was either ignored, and given evil stairs when I approached any table. Have I gotsome stories to tell. Maybe I should start making this blog formatted, with reoccuring topic areas like : The DOJO, THE KIDS, STUPID SHIT IVE DONE, and so forth.

Well, got to be goign now. The wife signed up for some weekened course (therebybooting any hope I had to workign this weekend), and I got to get some rest. She leavesaround 630-7am, and returns home around 4 or so. So this week, i’ve been pulling fulltime daddy duty (and doooty) for 6 straight days, and 7 tomorrow. She came home intime for me to leave for the dojo today (a saturday judo class), but she didnt leave enough“transition” time, to keep Logan from freaking. I missed the class. Instead, I packed upLogan and headed out for some US time. Lance got to stay home with the tired wife, andher headache, and her....ah, whatever. Logan and I walked around a carnival (at a localmall parkign lot), got a bite to eat, andjust enjoyed the time together.
Till tomorrow.........


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