Quick update

Logan and Lance have started swim lessons at the Y. Lance is taking to water like he is a fish. Logan is using his superior intelect to design any reason he can why he "can't like do that anymore".

I erected a large multi-roomed tent in the backyard. Tuesday the 5th , after taking Logan to sword class with me, we ended up spending the night in the tent. It was his first time "camping".

The heat upstairs is almost unbreable. Im suprised the computer hasn't had a melt down. I plan to move an AC unit up here soon.

The baby was playign in the fish tank, and as a result (unknown to me for a few days), had cranked up the temp on the heater - he pretty much fried all of the guppies. Only 1 algea eater remained. (and a shitload of snails). Tonight, (the temp was normalized days ago), I discovered that the algea eater was no longer with us. His skull and spine were, but the rest of him had disappeared. He was the only thing in the tank, besides the snails. And Im talking very small snails, not those monster sized ones. Either the cats ate the fish, and then replaced the corpes in the tank, or those are some serious f*ckin snails!

The boys are sleeping, the dog and cats have beed fed, I remembered to take out the garbage ---- not to shabby for a Thursday night. I'll update more when I get that AC unit in the window.

I just got screwed - at MACH SPEED

Back in December (05), I purchased a motherboard/cpu combo through TigerDirect.com . Both had additional mail in rebates, and the cpu one went thru without any trouble. I got to thinking the other day that I still hadn't received the rebate from Mach Speed (maker of the motherboard - P4M800).

I contacted their rebate department, and received the following reply:

Date: 14 June 2006 21:22

Cindy Staff

Subject: No Subject Valued Customer, First of all we would like to thank you for your recent purchase from our Mach Speed product line. If you should have problems with the product that you have purchased, please feel free to contact our technical support staff. We were able to find your rebate application, and it appears that you were declined due to the declination codes listed at the bottom of this email. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused. Once again thank you for purchasing a Mach Speed product. Please remember that we have the only Motherboard with a Lifetime Warranty. B = Businesses are not eligible for rebates as it states on the rebate form. The rebate was purchased in a business name, A Magic moment, This disqualifies the product for rebate as per the terms and conditions on the rebate form. Kind Regards, MST Rebate Dept Customer Service

Aint that a bitch?! They never sent a "Sorry, your fucked" postcard OR email. The rebate form never said shit about companies being ineligible for the rebate.

When I made the order with TigerDirect, it asked for "company name". I still am sole proprietor of my at home company (although mostly in name - I haven't had much work due to the kids). I could have just as easily not listed a company name, but I did. I always add the company name (It's a web site), so that I am providing an additional means of contact in the case of a problem.

My advice - stay clear of MACH SPEED. While the mobo is pretty decent, being fucked out of a $40 rebate like this is bullshit. If I had known this was going to happen, I would have bought an ABIT mobo instead. At least THEY allow you to deactivate the onboard video.


MACH SPEED SUCKS!!

HULK SELL CARS

I saw a video that someone had made (using stop motion video) on tv. I found it on YOUTUBE, and it has become a household favorite. Check it out!


HULK SELL CARS


Here's a few others that I thought were funny:

Funny deaf shoe commercial

Evolution of Dance

Sick sucks

Update on the previously sick cat: He's healthier than ever. Active, playful, and purs a lot more than he used to .

Update on the rest of us: All except the wife are sick. The oldest boy started having a congested couch a few days ago. No other symptoms though. After 2 days of that, he had a fever and refused to eat. Next mournign , we had him into the Dr, who prescribed Amoxicillin and some steroid that supposed to aid in calming the chest down.


The baby has been in very shitty spirits for the last 2 days, and now I too am bad off. I have a stuffy head, blocked sinuses, generally feel drained and am bringing up phlem when I couch. On the good foot, I still have Amox for me (in pill form) from a few months back.

Tomorrow mouring, I have to give 3 presentations at the wife's skool for Career Day (I'm a magician - I wanted to give a presentation on being a samurai or an At Home Dad, but they shot both of those down. The even wouldn't let me come dressed as a Ghostbuster and just make stuff up).

Im nominated! Im hillarious!

Im sitting here, for a brief moment, in a state of bliss. The family is asleep, the computer still works, they haven't cut off my internet yet, AND I have a bag of Funyuns and 3 chocolate Zingers to snack on. How could life get any better, you ask?

I check my mail, and found out that someone was kind enough to nominate my blog to a contest. Apparently my son + A Victoria's Secret display= coffe spilling from the nose in laughter. (HURRAY!)

ANyways, here's a link to the othe rpage. Thanks to Margie for being so very flattering , and to whoever suggestted that the dady with the young jedi get nominated.

I have to figure out were to add that htlm stuff to get the button on the page, but here's a link to the write up.

MIX-PIX AWARDS

Very preceptive, young Jedi

I seemed ot have really touched on something when I wrote about being disconnected. Im glad that I did. I don't have friends to go "hang out with", so here is the only place I can feel free to express how I real feel. There is some concern, from time to time, about too much honesty. I'd hate to find out that my wifes coworkers are chatting behind her back about things that are none of their concern. However, I think that being able to talk freely here outweighs that. I sometimes say rude things - I call names - and if anyone were to ever hold it back up to me, I will accept ownership. Better to vent here than to boil over in real life.

I think Jim touched on something key to my stress level with my wife. In a typical relationship (and I use typical lightly), the wife is home with the kids and learns all the "ins and outs" of their manorisms. In our case (and all at home dads), it's me with that inside information. It can be ackward when the wife tries to handle a situation with the kids, (and fails) AND I know how to settle it very quickly. I try to step back when I can , and let her "be the mommy". But there are times when I find I have no patience for her incompetence. I start thinking "I know that I have the inside information, but Im just a guy. You're the woman - you're supposed to know these things. You have all this training with kids, work with kids, and have degrees in stuff dealign with kids. I'm not supposed to be good with this".

I was interviewd recently by someone wanting an inside veiw into the mysterious world of at home dads. The question was asked about division of labor/ responcibilities. Im not sure of how the question was worded, but the interviewer seemed stumped when I discussed "Built in necessity". I explained that, for the most part, I do everything. Not because it's expected of me, but because I can. Im a guy - we can do stuff. This does not always make for a happy wife, who starts to feel un-needed. So I try my best to find things that she enjoys doing - and I either "don't have time to get to them", or I completely screw the pooch a few time (and she'll take over that job). Bath time for example. I am fully capable of giving the kids a bath / shower. But I've always set that aside as her duty - she'll feel needed, and it gives them time alone.


Ken's comment about being expected to do all the "guy stuff", and the chick stuff as well has merit. I must add, however, that my wife LOVES to cut the grass and do yard work. She is a tom boy who loves to work on her car, has done her own oil jobs, changes tires herself and even replaced a water pump on her own (mostly). What I find is that people looking in (the relationship) like to classify things as "gender specific" activities. Work on the car = male stuff. Change a diaper=woman stuff. But I gotta say that most of the marital conflict Im experiencing isn't primarily from swapped gender roles. It's stemming from my not only having a "good idea" of how to handle things (with the kids), but also having the experience which adds credidibility and accuracy to my thoughts. I'm very much a "if you can't do it right, get the hell out of the way and I'll do it myself" type person. Good with lifting things, good with working on machinery - very bad when dealign with your spouse (regardign your kids).

OK - I wanted to talk a bit more about the above topic, but it just deosn't seem to flow tonight. Lots of differnt fragmented thoughts that probably are a bitch to read along to. Let's get to my subject header :The perceptive young Jedi.

Im guessing that the non-verbal cues between the wife and I are much more evident than I thought. Lately, the wife has been adding things to our converstaions that just don't make no damn sense. I stare at her, waiting for her to tie her comment in, SOMEHOW, to what we're doing, and it just never happens. Then, she gets this look of disgust, rolls her eyes at me, thows up her hands, and says "Whatever". I ask "What'd I do?", she replies "Im trying to talk to you, and you just give me this blank look."

EX: We are in a store .The baby is being fussy. He throws his paci on the floor. Logan picks it up. I tell him "It's very nice of you to pick up baby's paci, but he can't have it back right now, because he's not supposed to throw it". He hands it to mommy. She turns and tells me "The reason he picked it up was becasue I pointed to it". In my head, I'm thinking "So fuckin what?!". I just prasied the child for doing something good - and explained why he can't give the paci back to his brother - what the hell does your pointing at it have to do with anything?? Why does this moment have to be about you?

As I said, I only thought this - but it must have shown on my face.

The wife and I don't yell- we don't scream at each other. Our warfare is much more subtle. But lately, Logan has been gettign very VERY upset when I don't show the wife affection. If I am heading off to the Dojo, or they (the wife and kids) are going somewhere without me, I make sure to gets hugs and kisses from the boys. Logan has been getign upset and saying"I want you give momma hug and kiss too".

This really makes me feel bad - I don't want them growing up with memories of us being distant to each other. That isn't the template I want them to base their own marriages on. I want my kids to grow up remembering that mommy and daddy loved each other - didnt' hit each other - and were excellent to each other. But that's not what I'm (we're) modeling. I was suprised that Logan (at 3) seemed to pick up on those times when I wanted nothing to do with the wife, and has acted like a go-between.

Maybe a part time room at the looney bin is what's needed. Chip was dead on balls accurate saying that stress is the enemy. Hang in their Mike. For Butterfly, I must say that the self reflection you mentioned is exactly what I get from my aikido class.

And Keith - I've gotten so bad recently about losing my cool with other people, my son now has started to ask "Dada, why you say that word?" Or " Dada, why you call her that?" I've started to inform the wife, when we trade off the kids at dojo time, what new and creative words the kids might have picked up from me today. She also is unamused.

**ON a funny note - Logan has started to take one of Lances steering wheels in the car with him (when he rides with the wife). When someone stops in front of her van, he'll start laying on the toy horn, and yelling" MOOOOOVE! MOOOVE! Hang up you phone and drive!!!!!".
At least he hasn't thrown "JACKASS!" in their yet!!

Hurray - Im not alone

First of all, my thanks for all that offered support about my last post. Also, my sympathies for anyone who is misfortunate enough to feel the way I have. It sure is nice to scream into a vaccume, and hear other voices, just as lost as I am, echo back.


I uploaded some pics that I recently took. Not sure if I mentioned it, but I got a new bike for my birthday (very very late, but I finally got it.) I bought (Walmart) and personally installed both a trailer hitch and a bike carrier for the truck. (Notice the big ass 9ft long covered cable and lock keeping the crooks from stealing it).

Also, I finally finished contruction of the monster playground that we bought with our tax return. I still have to put water seal on the wood.

The other day, I dropped my Concord 4meg camera, and was forced to buy another camera. I loved that Concord, but there were several "out of focus" shots that pissed me off. I got a decent deal on a PhotoSmart M425 by HP (5.0 megapixels). They sell for around $150, and Office Max threw in a free 512meg card for it. I gotta tell ya, this thing has yet to take a bad picture. The colors are crisp, things are in focus - this camera rocks! I'm am so glad that I dropped the other one! One downfall is that the switch from "regular" to "Macro" is in a menu, and not a switch on the outside of the camera. I took a close up of a flower today - really really closeup - and it blurred. But, all the relatively close ups of the kids have been perfect - and that's what counts. I highly recommend this camera. (added bonus is that it takes video WITH sound).

Well, that's about it for tonight - time to refill my drink, find a good movie to fall asleep in front of, and try desperately to get BUTTONS by The PussyCat Dolls outta my head!! I love that damn song, but for 3 days?!! Someone please sing "It's a small world...."

Dr. Darth Logan - physician - scientist - searching for a way to tap into the hidden strengths that all humans have. Then, an accidental dose of gamma radiation (sidewalk chalk) alters his body chemistry.

The M-Latt - Mobile Light Armored Troop Transport. This is either the most inventive way to bike with 2 kids - or the most effective way to un-sexy-ify a really sweet looking bike. We have another taxi - I plan to link that on too and make a train. 

I finally uprooted that tree stump, scooted the body of this beast over, and completed the swing area. Ladies and Gentlemen - THIS is the monster playground I built. 

I installed a small trailer hitch below the center step on the truck, and bought a bike carrier. We are SO mobile now! Also prepared if we run outta gas. 

Im working on the kids playground, when this damn bird divebombs me, hit the bill on my cap, then joins me for 15 minutes. We laughed, we cried, we sang, then it flew away. 

We are at "DICKS" sporting goods, and we see this sign. Notice the word ON. We took the stairs. Im not chancing it!

Operator - I've been disconnected!

Before an hour or so ago, my thoughts tonight were going to be about finishing the kids backyard playground, uprooting a tree stump, installing a trailer hitch on the truck, and purchasing a bike carrier for the trailer hitch.

But what just happened made me what to talk a bit about "where Im at". The wife and I were laying in bed, watching tv (surrounded by all 3 cats), when the baby started crying. Her philosophy has always been "just let him cry it out". However, after 5 minutes of screaming, I draw the line, and say it's time to tend to the child. You must also remember that Logan is asleep in the same room. Even if he's dead asleep, it can't be good to him to have to listen to all that screaming. I fear that he will either have disturbed sleep, or wake to resent his brother for crying. There have alreayd been mourings when I've overheard him telling Lance to "shut up, and stop making noise", although Lance hadn't cried a peep since the night before.

By problem is 2 fold.

1. Although I knew how connected a pregnancy could make a relationship, I never dreamed of how a child (more specifically parenting issues) could rip a marriage apart.

and 2. I fear that I just don't feel as connected to Lance as I do Logan.

Let's address #2 first. The wife can wait.

Logan has always been the center of attention. He loves the spotlight, and has, for the most part, been a dream as far as "raising" issues are concerned. When it was nap time, I'd sit and hold him in my arms, and we'd often fall asleep together. The tight bond between us seemed to be there from birth. When Lance came along, I often had to put him in his swing for nap time, because there was no way in hell Logan could sit down and shut up long enough for the baby to fall asleep. In the last few months, I've even started (at times) to resent how much attention Logan needs, as I se how much time I DON'T have to devote to Lance. I feel that I have failed, in some ways, because I wasn't able to devote as much one-on-one time to Lance as I did to Logan. Days that the inlaws take Logan for a day have been great, in that I get to spend time just with Lance - we play, we read, we build with blocks..whatever. All the while not having to worry about "what's Logan doing???".

It's important to mention that only on few occasions has Lance ever fallen asleep in my arms. And now it's startin gto bother me how much we refuses to be held. From time to time, he's okay with sitting in my lap for a short time, but when it comes to night time, he wants nothign to do with me. With Logan, when he awoke in the middle of the night, I woul dhol dhim till he fell bak asleep. When I try the same to Lance, he gets 10 times more pissed off that Im holdin him. But other than ignore him, there is no other alternative. I've thgout to myself "Ya better deal with this, kid....I'm all you got at the moment. Mommy said to let you cry".

Maybe he entering the terrible 2's early. Maybe I missed some major developmental moment to connect with him. Maybe he's an entirely different personality type than Logan, and I shouldn't compare them so much.

I'm trying to connect, and will keep trying. It just seems that sometimes Lance acts like he's the nighbors kid instead of mine. Here I thought I has a bit of an authority on child raising, having been pretty much alone to raise Logan, and along comes Lance and tells me that all I think I know aint worth the shit in his diaper.

Now, about the wife. Nothing, save a rare few things that I won't mention - even here - are as unattractive to me as a mother who lacks parenting skills. Let me tell you what I'm dealing with here. Tonight, I brought Lance out to our bed. I though tit woul dsooth him, and I also wanted to remove him from the room so Logan could sleep. After a bit of not calming down, the wife asks him if he wants some milk for his tummy. He just keeps screaming (he is very non-verbal). She asks again, and then just lays there. A few minutes go by, and she asks if he wants some medicine for his tummy.
At this point, I lose it. I ask "Why not ask if he'd like a stock portfolio and some investment tips?!. How the hell does HE know if he wants some medicine for his tummy. You the mom - figure it out. And where the hell is that milk you offered him ?"

Her response: "Well, he didn tsay he wanted it. When he doesn't grunt that he wants it, he won't drink it".

The kid is pissed off majorly, very upset, crying, boogers running down his face, tears, the whole package - and she thinks he going to stop his tantrum for a moment, to answer her. WTF?!
*** Also worth mentioning is that she had all weekend to wash sippy cups, and didn't . She left me high and dry last week without baby wipes . A fast trip to Costco had daddy returnign with a mega box of 30 packages, fuck you very much. This week, it was sippy cups. And I was not about to move off of that bed to get a drink, because I wanted her to feel as frustrated as I did this mourning, trying to find a clean sippy cup.

So here I am - feeling very displeased with my choice of "wife", very disconnected to my 1.5 yr old, and (worst of all), have been very short (in patience) with Logan resently. I've noticed that I've had to apologize for yelling much more than usual. And fo rthings that used to not bother me so much. Like telling him to stand next to me, and having his wander around the resteraunt. Like havin to tell him 15 times to "SIT DOWN AND EAT YOUR FOOD!", or "God damnit, get off that gate! I've had to tell you taht every damn day for 3 years - when are you going to learn!". Or "Why the hell did you swing the front door open so fast. You just clocked your brother in the head!"

I'm very stressed. I get even more stressed on days that I don't mave martial arts classes. Day with classes I have a release - I get to leave the house alone - I get to talk to other adults - and I get to step back for a moment, and reflect on the positive things that happened that day. I have many times, coem home from the dojo, and after huggin Logan, tol dhim that I was sorry about how I yelled earlier that day.

It's just that lately, I've had to apologize too much.

And the worst of all, is that summer is almost here. That means 24/7 non-stop having the wife at home. Oh joy.

Stands with Open Mouth 

Sitting Lance 

Logan and Lance at the American Indian Festival 

I got tagged! Sweeet!

Four places I want to take my kids on vacation:
1. Canada
2. Alaska
3. Australia
4. Japan / China

Four movies I could watch over and over with my kids:
1. Homeward Bound
2. The Karate Kid
3. Star Wars
4. Rush Hour (1 or 2)

Four TV shows I love to watch with my kids:
1. Blue Clues
2. Scooby-Doo
3. Teletubbies
4. Cops

Four restaurants I like to go to with my kids:
1. Ghengis Khan Mongolian BBQ
2. Chick-fil-a
3. Fazolies
4. Long John Silvers (The "Pirate Man House" - gotta love those hats!!)

Four things I want my kids to be good at:
1. Self Expression
2. Music
3. Empathy
4. Martial Arts

Four websites I visit daily:
1. Ebay
2. Yahoo (for email)
3. Aikiweb
4. My own blog - just to see if it's still there!

When you're 3, the heat is on

Just a small tidbit for tonight:

I always burn my own music cd, and love introducing the boys to various songs. The other day, we were listening to "The Heat Is ON", by Glen Frey. I told him that it was a Fireman song, cause he likes firemen so much.

The next day, he starts asking for that song from yesterday - the one about the fireman who is 3 years old "Just like me". I ask him to sing a bit, and he sings...

"I'm three years old....I'm three years oh old....I'm three years old..."

That's when it hit me that he thought the lyrics were "Im 3 yrs old" instead of "The heat is on".


He also loves belting out the lyrics to "Ghostbuster" by Ray Parker Jr, "On Our Own" by Bobbie Brown (Ghostbusters 2) , and "Men In Black" by Will Smith. We LOVES us some Will Smith. When he was smaller, I adjusted the words to "Miami" and made it about Scooby Doo. Then we got "Jiggy Wit it", chased aliens in "Men in Black", fought bad robots in "I, Robot". Todaym in the car, he wanted to wear his sunglases. He told me to wear mine too, and that we were Men In Black. But he made it very clear that HE was Will Smith. Guess that either makes me Tommy Lee Jones, or that talking dog.

Lance :" How YOU doin, babe? Who's your friend?" 

Logan: "Does Mom know about this?!" 

Lance and I - a self portrait 

Silly boy! 

I've been naughty

It seems, from visiting other dad blogs, that there's just something in the air that's causing us to put off blogging. My own excuse is that the kids/cats / heat has kept me down.

Tigger is doign much better now. This mourning marked the last of our vet visits (but they DID do a blood test, and the results are not due back till tomorrow). He is in good spirits, sems to pee ok now, and is much more loveable since not only did we save his life, but actually brough thim back home each day.

The kids have been doing ok - since having to take the cat in to the vet each morning (for hydration stuff), we've been doign breakfast at Chickfila , and return to bring Tig home. I finally go tmy new "birthday present" bike last week (I've been owed it since December). It feels good to switch gears! It's been pretty damn hot this week, so we've limited our bike rides to short distances. That "taxi" thingy that trails behind the bike is nice, but can turn into a green house if you're standing still for too long.

I'll try to post some picks for your amusment before I head off to bed.

Either the heat is takign its toll on the kids, or a ghost is running around the house again. Lance was wide awake a little bit ago (he's in bed with the wife after crying for a long long time --the baby, not the wife!-) , and Logan wandered in as well. I got him to lay down in his own bed - after I post some pics, I'll see if Lance is still awake (it's 12:30am).

Night all