Sunday night - a moment to pause

Yeah, I know that there's more to life than the Y, but I've started to utillize it more than ever before. Up till now, playgrounds have been fine, sicne Lance was unable to walk. Now that he's hauling much ass, and generally in the opposite direction as his brother, I'm in need ot more "self containted" means of amusment and socialization. Plus, the wife has been paying the monthy membership, so I figure might as well use it.
And they DO, have a pool, but the hours are ignorant. In the mourning, or early afternoon - when I'd like to take the boys in (one at a time), they'll have other things going on that reserve the pool. SO they'll have 2 lanes free, deep end only - or some weird shit like that. I DID manage one day to drop one kid off at childwatch, take the other swimming, and then swap em so each got to swim that day. That was hard on me.

AIKIDO STUFF: We had a seminar/testing at our dojo on Saturday. I passed mine, and am now a 5th kyu. Tried to explain to the wife why I was promted to white belt, when I was already a white belt. And then to explain why I have 4 more white belts to test for, before black. The wife is only used to the traditional "Americans are like kiddies - let's amuse them with pretty colored belts". Aikido generally has 5 degrees of white belt, then you test for your black. This keeps everyone humble, as you have no flashy GREEN or ORANGE belt to show off. Downfall, however, for new students, is that you never know who has been there forever, and who is new (and full of shit).

TIME TO PLAY :

Our tax return came in (our refund, I should say), so we made good on our promise to get the boys a playground for the back yard. And BOY DID WE EVER! We got this monster jungle gym from Costco. It came in 6 boxes, and that's not including the HUGE slide. This bitch gotta rock wall, slide, swings, tire swing, monkey bars, fort, and bunches of other things. So today, me and my 2 "helpers" started to week long task of assembling the beast. I tried my best to let them help, to feel a part of the process. Of course, this set back the actual "getting anything done" drastically. I got page 1 done after 2 hours of "help". I was able to bang out pages 2-5 once my helpers went to bed! I'l post pics of it soon.

Costco has a contest goign on where you send in pics of yoru backyard before and after you "fix it up". Our, as is, is pretty pathetic. I plan to take some pics, and then do up the yard nice once the beast is completed. Maybe we can win something by mowing the grass, and erecting a monster fort that we bought at the place that's deciding the winners.

Ok - off to cruise the web before nite nite time.

Sunday night - a moment to pause

Yeah, I know that there's more to life than the Y, but I've started to utillize it more than ever before. Up till now, playgrounds have been fine, sicne Lance was unable to walk. Now that he's hauling much ass, and generally in the opposite direction as his brother, I'm in need ot more "self containted" means of amusment and socialization. Plus, the wife has been paying the monthy membership, so I figure might as well use it.
And they DO, have a pool, but the hours are ignorant. In the mourning, or early afternoon - when I'd like to take the boys in (one at a time), they'll have other things going on that reserve the pool. SO they'll have 2 lanes free, deep end only - or some weird shit like that. I DID manage one day to drop one kid off at childwatch, take the other swimming, and then swap em so each got to swim that day. That was hard on me.

AIKIDO STUFF: We had a seminar/testing at our dojo on Saturday. I passed mine, and am now a 5th kyu. Tried to explain to the wife why I was promted to white belt, when I was already a white belt. And then to explain why I have 4 more white belts to test for, before black. The wife is only used to the traditional "Americans are like kiddies - let's amuse them with pretty colored belts". Aikido generally has 5 degrees of white belt, then you test for your black. This keeps everyone humble, as you have no flashy GREEN or ORANGE belt to show off. Downfall, however, for new students, is that you never know who has been there forever, and who is new (and full of shit).

TIME TO PLAY :

Our tax return came in (our refund, I should say), so we made good on our promise to get the boys a playground for the back yard. And BOY DID WE EVER! We got this monster jungle gym from Costco. It came in 6 boxes, and that's not including the HUGE slide. This bitch gotta rock wall, slide, swings, tire swing, monkey bars, fort, and bunches of other things. So today, me and my 2 "helpers" started to week long task of assembling the beast. I tried my best to let them help, to feel a part of the process. Of course, this set back the actual "getting anything done" drastically. I got page 1 done after 2 hours of "help". I was able to bang out pages 2-5 once my helpers went to bed! I'l post pics of it soon.

Costco has a contest goign on where you send in pics of yoru backyard before and after you "fix it up". Our, as is, is pretty pathetic. I plan to take some pics, and then do up the yard nice once the beast is completed. Maybe we can win something by mowing the grass, and erecting a monster fort that we bought at the place that's deciding the winners.

Ok - off to cruise the web before nite nite time.

2,999

The counter read 2,999 tonight. Hard to belive that my site has been loaded almost 3 thousand times! My thanks to reader #3,000, who ever you will be

Shannon

Raggin on the YMCA again

BTW - Yes, that IS me in the Easter Bunny costume. Didn't get any bunny work this year (or last year either), but at least we can use it for family pics.


Today, the wife went back to work (no more epidemic sickness , and no more spring break. ) If this last week was any indication of how the summer will be, I'd better find a few more hobbys that will get me out of the house (or just hide). Not the best week for marital cooperation. The kids, on the other hand, have been pretty damn good.

This mouring started with a trip to BoogerKing for breakfast. Then, we headed over to the Y. After their recent attempt to ban me from the gym area, I've been "checking " the boys in (officialy and shit). I write their names in the book, I give them their ID stickers, and all that shit. Today, after a 4 minut electure from Logan about how "I no want you to leave me", he darted into the play room with no trouble. (They were not down at the gym yet). Lance, however, got rather upset when daddy left, even though he had about 12 other toddlers to play with. I went to the locker room, changed, and peeked in as I walked by. Logan was having a blast, but Lance was still sitting their crying. As these mouring Y trips are for THEIR benefit and not mine, it didnt seem to leave him there so upset. So I signed him out (Lance only), and took him with me to the gym.

When we walked in, they had about 15 toddlers (ages 2.5 -4yrs old), and were playing with a parachute. After about 10 minutes of parachute play, they gathered around a radio for the Chicken Dance. Then, they scattered to the four winds, for "random play". Lance watched, laughed, and was amused to see other kids playing. We chased each other around, and he even walked around kicking a basketball.

GOOD COMMENT: Now THIS is the kinda shit that the Childwatch people should be doing when they take the kids to the gym. Ther eare usually about 20 or so kids, and about 3-5 staff members, so it wouldn't kill them to break out the parachute (from the same closet they get the balls from), and play. Also, Chewbacca brought a radio in once, and although most of her music selection sucked (mostly latin club stuff), she did have the I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT song that the kids responded well to. Anyways, I felt bad for leaving Logan in the room with the lazy ass childwatch people, when these kids were having fun.

BAD COMMENT: All those kids had paid $35 to be in a program they call KIDS IN MOTION. They meet in a group on Mondays only, for like 5 weeks (so 5 playdates), and get to do fun shit that they either should get to do in childwath, OR that their friggin parents should be doing with them ANYWAYS! $35 dollars for some half wit to play with my kids half as well as I do on a normal day! NOW I see why their lame ass childwatch people don't do shit with the kids. Cause they are saving all the fun shit for the kids with parents that have $35 extra dollars. Now, I liked the play group better then the childwatch, but I didn't see $35 worth of organization and planning. More like someone with their head less up their ass than the rest of the childwatch people, so she got promoted to "Develope a play program" person. Not only have I had experience in child entertainment, but Ive also been put on the spot (like at large picnics or corporate events), to come up with something onthe fly - to do with a large group of kids, that deosn't suck. And I've been lucky enough to pull it off. So I can see random order versus organized play.

MORE BAD SHIT - since Im on a roll
As we walked from the truck to the Y, we saw a room with about 8 mommies and their "under 2 yr olds", sitting and listening to music. THIS class, called KinderMusic, wants $75 from you. THey want me to pay them money, so they can sit me down with my kid and let us listen to music in a fun and interactive way. Maye this is a good idea for the musically declined parent (and my parent I mean MOTHER!). I gues this is another area where I have the upper hand. Not only was/am I a DJ, but I sing pretty damn well, and have a background in performign arts. SOOOOOO - My own person version of this $75 class, which Ive been doing since the boys were born, is to burn my own cds (with appropriate music that they respond to at the time), and either play it at home (and dance to each song), or jam on it (Incidentally, an Excellent song!) in the car. The wife couldn't carry a tune if you placed it in a bucket, but the boys and I LOVES us some music. I'll make a listing of some of the songs that we are currently "in to".

SUBJECT CHANGE: MY MOTHER

In a very suprise move, my mother, the very next day after our fight, came over the house with a desk for Logan. The wife and I both noted that she was kinda "testing the waters" with me, but she was very nice to the boys. She asked us out to eat the next night (or so), and notn only brought over easter dinner on Saturday night (a tradition - after the basket is blessed by the priest, the fast is broken and most families go home and have a late meal), BUT she also came over on Sunday with baskets for the boys. No sign of any trouble over our agrument ( or my stand) at the Mongolian BBQ place. Very welcomed atmosphere, but very unlike my mother.

Worth noting, is that back in 2003, it was Logan's first Easter. My mom did somethign that led us to a verbal argument, and she got pissed. She got pissed and never showed up for Easter. That infurated me! Be as mad as you want to at me, for whatever, but don't fuck up your grandchild's first Easter. I've never really forgiven her for that (Ive moved on, but it's still filed under "Very stupid shit ") I'm guessing that she didn't want a repeat of how angry I got over THAT year, so set aside our argument this year. Good going Mom!

OK - guess that's about it for now. Off to try and find some dumb ass videos online.

HOPPY EASTER Everyone !! 

Forgot to tell

Not one to whine and bitch about being sick, but I've caught either strep or tonsilitus. Been a bitch to swallow the last few days. Got a Dr appt for Thursday.

Also been gettign these off and on fevers. Ended up not going to either dojo tonight cause I felt so bad, but 2 hours later, I was fine and hungry. We're not a "get sick" kinda family, but we've been gettign our asses handed to us lately. At least the boys haven't been effected.

Tonights words of wisdom

Let's see - I cruised the blog on my sidebear, and found one kinda relative to today. Phil over at A FAmily Runs Thru It was talking about the ongoing battle between "working" and "say at home" mother.

It's relevance to today was that the wife and I decided to take the boys to a YMCA that was further aay than the one that tried to kick me out, but was larger and may have more features/programs to offer. We arrived around 10am, and as wel walked up, surrounded by other moms dragging their kids along, I turned to my wife. I looked down and saw that she had sneakers on, but her sweat pants went all the way down to her shoes.

I told her "If you want to blend in with all the Yuppie mommies, who are ditching their kids to ChildWatch so they can have ME TIME in a yoga or spin class, you are gonn ahave to ditch those 80's sweats. You need the "new" kind, that are like Capris. (For all you guys reading, Capris are what women get to call pants that are above the ankle. On guys, we call them either TOO FRIGGIN SHORT, or highwaters. We also point and laugh. BUT, on women, we get to see some ankle, and that can be kinda sexy - )

It hit me then that the women at the other Y dress the same as the women at THIS Y. It's almost like there was some fashion dress code for escaping your kids. OK, I sound harsh on them for using childwatch. I will use childwatch too. But Ive at least taken to the time to see that it is as described - child WATCH. They dont' do shit other than sit there and watch the day go by. Other than slightly socialized, I won't expect Logan or Lance to leave childwatch one day and start spouting the alphabet, or show me how they learned to throw a ball better.


After spending 13 years as a children entertainer, and having a bs and a MsEd related to Psych and family (and the wife is a special ed teacher with an Msed degree as well - and I helped her study for her tests), i'm bitter to see that the childwatch makes no effort to interact better with the kids. AND, it angers me that the parents who drop their kids off are cluless about this.

Added to this is the "sterotypical look" that I'm seeing. I guess it's not enough for mommy to get her own time for spin class, or yoga, but there's also a dress code/dress competition. Must be a girl thing. I dress the kids well, but most of the time look like Adam Sandler with all my hocket jerseys. (Not a big fan of hockey, I just like hockey jerseys).

MOVING ON

It's the big boys night night time, and Peanuts is coming on. It's an Easter special. So I (we) decide to let him watch it before goign to bed. We get comfy on the couch (Logan and I), the wife slips upstairs to email the world about her medical woes (I'll get to those in a minute), and we start to watch the cartoon. I was shocked at some of the shit we saw. The gang is walking thru a department store, and SNoopy and Sally decide to have fun trying on hats tht were on a display. They try on all the hats, and Charlie Brown comes up tapping his foot. He's not happy, and they all walk off together. Leaving the hats on the floor. Logan looks at me and says "Da, they made BIG mess. That not good". I agreed, and we continued watching. The opening scenes had Woodstaock upset because his nest got flooded in the rain. He complains to Snoopy, who tries to help, but Woodstock turns the nest upsidedown on his head, soakign him. Logan also thought that this was not nice.

Then, the final blow before we switched the station. Snoopy buys Woodstock a birdhouse. Woodstock cant fit inthe hole. Snoopy bores a bigger hole, and Woody refuses to go in. He refuses twice, before Snoopy gets mad, rips the house off of the tree, and bashes Woody over the head with it. (Thereby ending up with that ungreatful little yellow bastard IN the house where he was supposed to be). Unfuckinbelievable.

I've felt bad (like I was being a bad parent) for leaving the 3 Stooges on too long when the kids are watching. But this shit! This is NOT the peanuts we grew up on.

THE WIFE:

Ok, long story short, they misdiagnosed her, and she was able to do it better by using Dr GOOGLE. She DID have the EKC (epidemic Kerato Conjuncivitus). BUT, that was not all. The EKC was just a component of a bigger thing, that included bad fevers and some really really not feeling good. This new thing she ended up having, they say that you are genetically disposed to gettign it if exposed. And it will either stregthen your dna, or delete it. She's still here, so I guess it got strengthened.

FLASH BACK TO BEFORE THIS HAPPENED:
I made a joke to her, when she asked me what I was doing, that I had spent all day on a science project. I was trying to combine matter and anti-matter, but so far, kept coming up with nothing (HAHAHAHHAHAAHA).
Never dreaming that my wife was going to either unravel at the cellular lever, or transform in a New Mutant.

On a good note, the facial paralasis never crossed her face to the other side, so her other eye was uneffected. She has made almost a full recovery (cept for blurred vision in the effected eye, that they said shoudl return- or they can treat it with steroids), she is virus free, is no longer contageaous, and can go back to work next week (after spring break is over).

On a bad note, she has so far been unable to exhibit any signs of mutant powers, like levelation or mind reading. Ok, the mind reading one scared me, but I was hoping for fire creation, invisibility, the power to lose 80 pounds at will, somethign cool like that.

Did I get desert?

ha ha
Actually, knowing that no matter how much I bitched, I was still going to have to pay full price, we DID actually raid the desert bar before we left. Green jello, a cookie for Logan, and ice cream all around.


No matter how fed up I get with a place..... there's ALWAYS room for Jello!

Laundry god, Bad food day, and my mother

LAUNDRY god

I'll start off with an update on the laundry. Before I screwed the pooch and flooded the garage, I should say that I actually DID measure the distance needed, AND bought more than enough pvc pipe. I was just in a hurry to test it, and didn't feel like breakign out the saw to cut a 4 ft section from the 10 pipe. I tried to hook up a makeshift connection using old plastic laundry hoses (something that ended up lookign like Maguiver would have told me to give it up), and in the process, disconnected the hose from the bottom of the washer. In the end, I cut that damn connector hose, and secured the hell out of it, ensuring (I hope) no more floods. If the flood hadn't have happened, it may have happened another day and done more damage.

Since getting off my lazy ass and cutting the 4 ft connector piece, I now am able to do laundry. The waster goes around the garage (IN the pipes), and out to the sewer. And with all the extra screws I used to secure the chasis to the base, it it a work of art. I've been washing load after load since yesterday! Spin cycle is hardly noticible! It's like a demon has been expelled from the garage. (Also, it's the only place I can hide from the family). I am now wishign I had 2 dryers, cause I'm washing so much that I have to either wait till the first load is done drying, OR I have to split the washed load into 2 dryer loads (to ensure proper drying).

I will post pics as soon as I buy new batteries for the camera.

Bad Food day

It all started this mourning, when it was decided (am Im as much at fault for this one as anyone) to drive down to Sonic and return with breakfast. I load the kids in the wifes van (she stayed home), and we roll into Sonic. Only 1 car in drivethru - no cars in the parkign lot. We pull into a space, decide..and push the button. I shouldjh't have pushed the button - I should have run away in terror. Usually, Logan gets pissed when we go to Sonic. He wan't Burger King. He'll start a chant of SONIC SUCKS! SONIC SUCKS! Today, there was no such chant. He had been deceived by the darker side of the force.

(Push the button)

SONIC: "Hello, Welcome to Sonic, can I take your order?"

ME: "Good mouring - I'd like 2 orders of French toast sticks" (I pause) "2 breakfast burrito combos (I pause again) - "With tots...........dropped fresh please, I want them hot"..................."And Dr peppers for both drinks........no ice in either drink please"

(A long pause - like a minute long)

ME: "Hey, are you still there?"

SONIC:" Yes sir - just a second please"

(another 2 minutes go by)

SONIC: "Ok sir, so that was 2 orders of french toast......"

ME: "Yeah..."

(A 30 second pause)

SONIC: "And what else was there?"

ME: " WHat else was there?! Your fucking kidding right? There are hidden cameras somewhere, right? What do you remember of what I just ordered?"

SONIC:" Just the french toast"

ME: "NO NO NO Dammit! You got no other customers! What the hell are you doing in there that you put me on hold for 2 minutes and forget my order? Are you serious?"

Logan: (From the rear of the van) "Do you understand the words that are comin outta my mouth?!"(As he points to his mouth, just like Chris Tucker in Rush Hour)

SONIC: "Could you repeat your order sir?"

(I take a really friggin deep breath - out with the bad air - in with the good air...)

ME: (I repeat the order)

SONIC: "Will that be all?"

ME: " Oh hell no - you better repeat that back to me"

SONIC : (repeats it right)

(side note- Breakfast burrito combo=$3 each French toast sticks=$1 each $8 right? NO!)

SONIC:" Ok sir, that will be $12.73"

(I push the button once more, and get the same girl, who welcomes me to Sonic and asks for my order)

ME:" Look, you have got to be shittin me - there is no way in hell that an $8 order comes to almost $13. I know I aint be no good at math sometimes, but today aint one of those days"

(She corrects the total, the food arrives, and we go home. My burrito wrapping was s little bit stale, but the rest of the food was pretty good.)

FLASH FORWARD TO LUNCH:

We go to McDonalds. Now I don't know who the jackass is that decided to start puttin pepper on the meat, but they need their ass kicked. And right next to him, I want the bitch that dared call it "SALT". Aint no fucking salt! IT"S PEPPER! You can't even get away with calling it seasoning salt, cause it's JUST PEPPER!

I order 2 double cheese burgers WITHOUT PEPPER/SALT, but they fuck em up anyways. Luckily, I also bought 2 orders of nuggets, which fed the kids and I just fine. I call up the clown and bitch them out, and they offer to "replace them if I come right back". I ask them "How about replacing the rest of my food that's gettign cold while I drive all the hell way back there? How about replacing my gas?". All I got was the damn burgers, so I guess we'll be eating McD's tomorrow for lunch as well (sigh!)

DINNER :

There's a place called Genghis Khan's Mongolian BBQ. Nice place. The boys and I eat lunch there a lot. THey only charge me for me, so the boys eat free. Total with tip comes to $10, and you get a stamp for each meal (Collect 10 and your next meal is free).

They seat us WAY in the back. In the past, (durin dinner hours) as soon as my ass hit that seat, damn if a smoker didn't come in, sit down, and light up. I should mention that I was assured that the ENTIRE place was non-smoking. Today was no different.

I got there with the boys ( my mom was meeting us up there, but was late), so we sat down. They take us to the back. I go thru the "No fuckin smoking, right? ENTIRE place, RIGHT? No goddamed smoking?!". They assure me the entire place is no-smoking. So we sit, we get our soup and our food, and sure as shit, down sits a smoker 1 table over and lights up. I get the waitress, and tel her that someone is smoking. She gets the hostess, and they both dissapear in the back room. So I walk over the the guy and tell him taht "Im sorry, but this is non-smoking". He points to the ashtray that they gave him, and says "Sorry", but continues to smoke. Im fuckin fuming! No only is this guy an asshole, but the managmane and staff are nowhere to be found, and are NOT backing me up on this. I start swearing and throwing a fit that would make an angry black woman proud. I take the boys, and move to a table all the way in the front. Then I go back for our drinks and food. Along the way, a male manager sees me trasnporting the kids (Lance still in his highchair), and he tries to pat him on the head. I block his hand with my arm and shoulder, and tell him to get his goddamned hands off my kids. He asks what was wrong, and I tel him how pissed off I am. And that this kinda bullshit has happened before. Either you ARE or ARE NOT non=smoking. ANd nobody - and I mean NO GODDAMED BODY smokes around my kids. During this, my mom showed up, is clueless, and no help whatsoever. Furthermore, she hears my rant about smoker and my kids (and SHE'S partially responcible for my bronchitus - all that damned second hand smoke I got from her as a child).

We get situated, we eat, and my mom pushed the wrong button.

(I knowIm swearing a lot in the entry - but I'm trying to keep it real)

MY MOTHER

She has been annoying the shit out of me by snide remarks she makes after Logan says somethign to her. Admittedly, Logan had speach problems. He slurs words, he drops the second syllable sometimes - typical 3 year old stuff). But my mom always has to make a show of it, by turning away, shakign her head, and saying "Whatever, I knwo what the hell he just said" (or something similar).

You all know that you know your own kids vocabulary. In a few words, indistinguishable to anyone else, you can fully understand what you kids to telling you a story about. My mom mentioned his football shirt he had on. He told her that it wasn't football, that it was hockey - and that he has a football movie at home, where the guy gets picked up and yells "DOWN SHREK! DOWN SHREK!". (He is referencing the new Longest Yard " movie). I KNOW that we have told my mom, on several occasions, about that DOWN SHREK line, but she turns, shakes her head and says "Whatever - I can't make out a single thing he says".

Instantly, like magic, a quote from that same movie LEAPS from my mouth. Before I had a chance to stop it.

"You know, you really need to cut that shit out. It's getting old".

I explain, more sensitively, that she is being rude by what she is doing. And when Logan can sense that Gramdma is acting not nice, he won't want to talk to her at all anymore. "THis is your grandson. If you meet a starnger's kid on the street, and he talks with a mouth fulla shit, you can do the head shake and say you can't understand shit he says. But you don't do that to you grandson."

(Dada talked bad to grandma - I hope that Logan reads this later and sees that I stood my ground for him)

She gets all silent, and then says "I guess there never anything Ive ever done right, huh?"

Me "You got one thing right 35 years ago" (Im 35 )
HER: I'm starting to wonder about that.

The rest of the meal was pretty quiet, then we paid the check, said goodbye and went our seperate ways. Don't expect to be hearing toomuch more from grandma anytime soon.

(But the bitch better show up for easter. Her and I got into an argument before Logan's first easter, and she never showed up. I've also never forgiven her for that. Be pissed at me, but don't blow off my kid.)

Our food sucked today, we were exposed to cigarette smoke, and my mother got put in her place, but at least we got TONS of clean LAUNDRY!!

DEE DEE DEE

Today started off well enough. Got up before God did, played with the kids, but was running a bit of a fever, so I skipped breakfast. (I've had a fever off and on for the last few days - Im so damn DONE with being sick - I swear! --- And no, it's not a sympton of what my wife has).

I bought pvc pipe at the Bob the Builder store, so that the water leaving the washing machine (which I relocatd to our garage), would hook up with the main sewage line. Up until now, when we wash clothes, the back yard gets flooded. So Im out in the back yard, thinking that Im doing good: fixing the house - keeping the older boy busy and letting him help . All in the interest of not flooding the backyard anymore. Well, I didin't feel like cutting the last piece of pvc pipe, so I just pulled the OUT hose from the washer over to the connector. And in doing so (it was only 6 inches), I disconnected the hose from the bottom of the washer. SO, I flooded the INSIDE of the damn garage. Luckily, we had TONS of towels to be washed, all sitting around the washer on the floor, so the msasive flood was pretty well contained.

DUMB THOUGHT #1 : All this work to not flood the yard, and I flood the damn garage instead.

A few times (over the past years) , the part that controls the water intake (on the rear of the washer) has gone bad. It's a $30-40 part, but you can easily canibalize one from anyother washer, and hook it up. They all have the same wiring. SO our washer, I should saw, was in sad shape. I had to take off the back cover to get to the part the last times I replaced it, and I never did get it all back together the right way. During the spin cycle, even the dog ran and hid. BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM .
So, I decided that today was a good day to FIX the washer. (After Aikiso class. ) That meant removing it from the BACK of the garage, and laying it down in the yard, so I could better align the chasis. This meant 30 minutes of moving shit out of the garage, that was in the way of the washer's exit.

I finally get the washer out, I find the drill, drill bits, and new screws. When Im done, I think to myself, "This bitch is gonna be rebuilt tougher than my truck!" The boy comes over to say that he's hungy. Indeed it is lunch time. The wife comes out with the baby, and I decide to put the washer on hold while I get food for the family. Actually, for the boys. For some reason, Im not hungry (A DEFINITE sign that Im sick), but I know the boys need to get out for a while, so we (the boys and I) head off to Chickfila. I only eat half my food, so I brought the remaining half home for the wife.

We get home, and Logan and I head out to finish fixing the washer. VRVRVRTTT VRVRVRTT VRRRRRRRTT - 3 pilot holes on the bottom left - and 3 big ass screws to hold the bottom to the body. Tha's when IT happened. Friggin rain. I grabbed a tarp, and covered the washer, the boy, the dog AND myself. BUt I wasn't going to try using power tools in the rain - exspecially since the tarp was so old that it leaked. The boy thought it was a blast! I ran out in the now torenchal downpour, grabbed a shovel, and planted it in the middle of our make shift tent. It held the roof higher than my arms did. He thought it was like camping. We waited for the rain to stop - then waited for the rain to let up a little - then were finished waiting. We all made a bolt for the back door, and came inside. Even the dog ran in, who is strictly an outside dog. The boy and I brushed her down, and toweled her off a bit, then gave her a bone, and sent her back to the garage.

DUMB THOUGHT #2: ALL that damn moving, to not flood the backyard, and the WEATHER floods it for me!!


After a short time in the family, I needed to get away for a while, and knew where a leaky ass home made tent could be found. I hid in my fortress of solitude (kinda, the boy kept yelling at me from 10 ft away, out the bathroom window). But, I fixed the washer, and in the pouring rain, dolly's the sombitch back in the garage. In a failed attempt to re-hook-up the "water out" hose to the washer, the fucke rbit me and gashed open my hand (between my thumb and my pointer finger).

DUMB THOUGHT #3 : SHIT!

Cold water, antimicrobial soap, neosporin, and 3 bandaids later, (and a few well deserved WACKS being delivered to my foe), I finally got the washer "fixed". When it spins, you can barely hear it. It is solid, and balanced, and when it spits out water, it travels outside, down the pipe, and into the sewer. I had to wash 3 loads of clothes - all of which helped soak up the earlier flood.

Tomorrow, if it don't rain , i'll have to secure the drainage pipes TO the garage. Right now, they are propped up with anything I could find. But, if they fall overnight, the worst that could happen is that the backyard gets flooded - which it already is - which, compared to all my hard work and booboos, hardly seems like it could be an issue at all.

Night all

Your comments

All very good suggestions. Chewbacca really does need to chill out. She's gruff, very rough (verbally) when dealign with the kids, does stupid shit like shooting hoops with kids around (and then yells at them to stop when they try it too), and has a 5 yr old (or so) little girl of her own in with the other kids. And her little girl is a tyrant. Pushes other kids, is mean - guess the apple truly doesn't fall far from the tree.

Thinking of their attempt to boot me out, it sounded just like the Cantina scene. "We don't want your kind here. Males."

Next time we go there, I know I will here the cantina song playing in my head!!

ABOUT THE WIFE: Im glad that she'll get better. I'm sorry that she feels badly. I'm not happy about having another "kid" to deal with during the day. Today, she fell asleep, so I took the boys to the zoo so she could get some sleep. Normally, whenshe's home from work sick, she likes to clean. She can't this time. It would be futile. I'd have to go behind here and wipe down everything she touched. Kind alike washing the dished AFTER they come outta the dishwasher.

Oh well - I'm going early to aikido class tonight. One of the black belt candidates wants to meet before class and go over requirments.

QUARANTINED!

Well, it wasn't Bells Palsy - it had to be something slightly worse. She was recalled to the dr's again, and then sent to an ocular specialist, who diagnosed her with E K C. Which stands for :
Epidemic Kerato Conjunctivitus

Considering the first word is EPIDEMIC, it ain't good. It's highly contagious. It's course should run itself through in about 2 or 3 weeks, but before it's gone, she will temporarily lose vision in her infected eye, loss of facial muscles, and it will start to effect the other eye as well.

Considering the highly contagious nature of this thing, she's like "I can't imagine who I go tthis from". I'm like "Probably from the last weepy eyed-face paralyzed bitch that you came in contact with! Think back - any guys ink at you, and really went OVERBOARD about it? It's not that they liked you! It's that their friggin eye was paralyzed! "

I know - I know - it's not nice ot make fun of her - and I really am worried. But the way I see it, since she's quarantined with ME, I stand about a 90% chance of being the last weepy eyed winking asshole that the next person saw before THEY got it. WHen she came home from the hospital, I asked her if she had her house keys. WHen she said "Of course", I tried to make up some shit about burglars earlier today, and I had to change the locks, and we only have one key, and I lost that one - so maybe you can go stay with your mother?!

Stay with your mother - now that's some funny shit. As many times as I've heard women threaten to go stay with mother (not mine - when we fight, she threatens to send ME to her mothers!). I even offered to put her up in a hotel, but she got suspicious when she saw (thru the front window) that I was writing her one of her own checks. She's got at least one good eye left.

Oh man - just thinking back on that makes me laugh. Im laughing so hard, Im almost crying. I can feel a slight welling in my - eye - OH SHIT! (just kidding for now - but I got 3 weeks to go!!!!!!)

Shannon

ps. I havne't had any problems spending time with my boys at the YMCA the last 2 times I took them in. But the hispanic Chewbacca bitch has desided to treat me like a pedophile. Anytime any child comes near me and talks, or stops and sits down (even if it's on seperate ends of a basketball bench), she immediately calls the child to her, and sends them off in the other direction. Bitch.

Back to real world problems

The wife has had a weepy eye for 2 days . She thought it was allergy related, but today when she woke up, half her face was paralyzed. (Same side as the weeping eye). She didn't really notice how bad it was until she got to work. They sent her to the Dr's, where he ruled out allergies. He also ruled out "Bells Palsey"(sp?), which we've never heard of before. Appearently, BP only effects one side of yoru face, and her numbness had crossed over at her lower lip and her chin area.
The sent her to the hospital for an MRI, which came back negative (which ruled out stroke and anurism). AS the day went on, she started to regain partial feeling and control over the numb side of her face, but it's still there.

She had an appointment for Thursday to see a neurologist. When I mentioned her problem at sword class tonight, a woman said that it's probably Bells Palsey. She said (as also the wife was told at the drs office) that it's duration can last from a week to a month (and in some cases longer). Guess we'll have to wait and see what the neurologist has to say.


PROBLEM #2

Small, by comparison, but I've been seeing those tiny toilets that they use in daycares, and I think I want one for our house. I'm confident I can install it, but I can't find anywhere that sells one. I found only 1 online, and it was $300!! any ideas?

Shannon

Numerical anomolies and other stuff

This Wednesday morning (right after midnight Tuesday night), at 1:02 and 3 seconds, the time +date will read:

0102 03 04/05/06

This numerical phonominon will not occur again for another 100 years

(I cant get the normal font size back - sorry everything else will be in big bold letters!)

The "DADDY" effect
The wife had a half day today at work. We all met up forlunch and playtime. The zoo was out target, till it started to rain. So we went to a local mall that has a really nice and big play area. **(HEY ) I FIXED THE FONT!!)


I'm so glad that she was there. She got to witness first hand what I call the "daddy effect". I've heard stories of how Normal Jean could walk down the street unnoticed, but as soon as she internal projected herself", everyone immediately new she was really Marilyn Monroe. Today, I turned on my superpower for the wife to witness first hand.

The boys were had been playing for about 20 minutes or so. There were about 25 kids, of all age ranges/gender/ethnicity. My boys both ended up playing on what looked like a spilled drink (open at both ends). It was made of thick foam, and created a tunnel for the kids to go thru, or climb on. Lance was close to it, and Logan was ontop of it. I started walking towards Lance like a gorilla - arms in the air, legs bowed, swaying slowly back and forth (much the same way HE'S started to walk ). He laughed and tried to run away. Logan started to yell to me, so I went after him next. I was on the ground, but tickling Logan, and acting like a monkey.

All of a sudden, I look around, and Im surrounded by kids. What was moments ago a pretty even distribution of kids throughtout the entire play area (50ft deep by 100 wide), was now a concentraion of about 15 kids sitting on and around me. All watching me play with Logan and Lance. Some started to introduce themselves, ask me my name, and such. Instant interest. Up to this point , I had done nothing but play with my own kids.(And, of course, make a monkey outta myself). I had not talked to other kids - not ackoledged that they were there - and was not acting like a wil dman in that I was a danger to anyone. BUT - immediately, one mother walked over and took her child to sit with her on a bench - another mom came over and actually stood guard! She, I soon found out , had a 5 and a 2.5 yr old. Her son introduced himself, so I introduced the boys to him. That mom was weird. She stood there, like I was some kinda predator, but engaged me in pleasant and open conversation, as we discussed our kids and their abilities at different age levels. Im glad she was not rude, but I still got the impression that she was the guard, and I was the prisoner. She could "afford" to be nice to me because I was being "checked" by her standing there.

I've often told the wife how, if I cared or payed any attention to it, that playground moms need to spend mor etime "playing" with their kids, and how I get strange looks and reactions because I play with mine.

BTW- 2 things of interest about today's "gathering".

1. After noticing the flocking to me, Logan and Lance had a whole group of kids to play with - after introducing them to everyone, Logan had someboys to play with, and Lance had a few girls chasing after him!

2. My wife overheard 2 boys (one of which was the oldest son of the "gaurd" lady) asking their mom as they were "removed" from my area
"He didn't lift me up like that - I wanted to play too"
AND, ya gotta love this next one.....
"But mom, why doesn't daddy play with me like that?"

BINGO!!! What have I been saying!?! Dad's need to spend more time with their kids. Kids crave an male role model. Kid also crave a parental adult (time to include/blame the moms here too) that will PLAY with them on a PLAYground.
DEE DEE DEE

Aikido class was (GODDAMNED FONT IS MESSING UP AGAIN _ SORRY!) good tonight. Not sure if I blogged about it, but I will be testing fo rmy 5th kyu on April 22nd. Even thought I pretty much know up to 2 higher belt worth of stuff, I can only take one belt at a time. But at least Im running pretty damn good with the 5th kyu stuff. And trying to brush up on the 4th and 3rd mean that Im not so focused on the 5th stuff that I'll stress or choke. I had previously been told (by a student) that I might be tested (and promoted) for a higher rank than just the first belt. But the teacher said only 1 belt at a time, or the Japanese organization frowns on you.
(For those who don't know - in aikido, kyu ranks are those below black belt. There are only 5 of them. Most aikido dojos don't hand out color belts. When you start - until you reach black belt, you wear a white belt. Only your "status" changes based on your rank. The GOOD thing about this is that it seems to lever the ego field, since you never know what rank anyone is (cept black belts). I now think that colored belts are for kids. Also, the main aikido dojo in Japan issues you what's called a "passport", which certifies your rank and is honored at almost every aikido dojo world wide.

PASSING - OPPS, Lowering the bar

The city of Virginia Beach recently made concesions after losing/or had made concessions after being threatented by a lawsuit filed by the Department of Justice. It was alleged that the police depart unfairly reviewed and excluded participants based on their race. Not outright, but by exrcising discriminatory review practices. They had to RE-review those applicants that got the boot based on poor testing score, rescore them based on the NEW scoring method, and allow those who pass under the new scoring method the opportunity to continue down the road towards employment on the police department. Appearently, the MATH section of the test will be grade significantly less that before. Also, the city has agreed to create a Compensation fund for 124 applicants who failed.
In a letter received by the city on Feb. 7, the Department of Justice said that between 2002 and mid-2005, approximately 85 percent of white applicants passed the math test; approximately 66 percent of Hispanic applicants passed it; and approximately 59 percent of the African American applicants passed.
This begs that we ask the question: How much lower do we need to LOWER our standards of emploment to get enough minorites on the streets with guns to protect us?

It also add credibility to something I said back in college, that almost led to my being thrown out. I was taking a "diversity" class, and we were talking about "racially biased employment standards". The bitch teacher asked "what constitues a standard as being racially biased?" I answered
"A minority group that doens't feel like doign it, like rising to the level of the requirment. If the job requires a college degree, and minorities just don't feel like going to college, that requirment becomes racial biased. If you then require a high skool diploma, and minorites say 'eh, screw that - Im not down with skool', then that high skool diploma requirment becomes an ethically biased highing practice."

Needless to say, this fired up a shit storm with me in the middle. Actually, me on the only lonely end. No one else had the balls to say this. And here we have it playing itself out. Blacks can't meet a requirment, so they bitch, and that requirment gets lowered until enough of them can pass it to make them happy. At least the hispanic comunity has commented that they disagree with the Dept of Justice, and DON'T want the standard lowered. By doing so, THEY feel that it says that mexicans can't do math no good, and are incapable to doing better. Now THAT'S the attitude! Don't lower the damn bar! Raise the level of personal acceptance when you fail. Not that I hold cops in the highest regard anyways, but how low do we have to lower standards? How studiper do we want those high skool diploma'd, gun toting egomaniacs than they already are? Is there some guarentee that dumber minority applicants will be able to do the job better, or be less of an asshole, than those jackass white cops who are already partolling our streets? (I hate cops - I used to be one).
On second thought, I think the CIty of Virginia Beach may be pulling a big funny on those 124 applicants. They created a "compensation fund", with money in it, to be distributed to people who can't count worth shit. Let's see --- $250,000 - divided by 124 - holy shit! That's at least $300 for each of you! Enjoy!

PS

If you haven't done it already, set your clocks ahead one hour.

A full day

The inlaws were busy today, so instead of the wife takign off with the kids, they stayed home. It was just as well. In the morning, after eating breakfast at home, I took Logan to his first Gun Show. He liked all the guns and knives and "army man" stuff, but he was too short to really see into the many display cabinets that they had on the tables. So for most of the time we were there, I had him up on my shoulders. I bought him a camo hat, and a bb gun. Well, HE doesn't know it's a bb gun - he just thinks it's a plastic play gun that's 'his' size. It's one of those 'air soft" ones, and was only $3. Actually was the neatest thing that was the least expensive to get for him. I just made sure to duck the bb's when I opened the box for him, and he's none the wiser.

We left the gun show in search of lunch, when the wife called and said that my mom wanted to take us fo rlunch. So we came home, met up, and all drove off to Logan's Roadhouse for lunch. Our meal was pretty good - after they finished unfucking it. Luke warm fries - seasoning on them when I asked for no seasoning. Mayo for the burger that arrived half way after it was eaten. The last few times we've eaten there, it's really not been a great experience. THey even told us that they coulnd't find any stickers for Logan. Lame.

After lunch, we came home and played/dug up the back yard. I'm running plumbing pies from our garage to the existing exit port to the sewer. Bought all the connectors to do it, but the pipe was too small. Went back to Home Depot (Lowes was cheaper, but I had a giftcard), and found that the pieces that actually fit the pipe I alread had were MUCH cheaper than the ones I already bought. So, I bought all the pieces again, but in the cheaper stuff. What cost me $41 now cost me $14. And they even fit the pipe I had at home. Now I just have to return all the more expensive pieces.

Came home, and decided that we needed something for dinner. Logan took a bath whiel I made a quick run to Little Ceasers for pizza.

That's about it - OH, but I DID get a chance to watch Memoirs of a Geisha. Pretty good movie. I recommend it.

Shannon

Free pic from Walgreens

No April fools day joke - this is real

I registered online at Walgreens.com (free of course), and you can upload your pics to their store from your computer. If you take digital images in to the store to process, they charge 29 cents each. If you upload them from your computer, they only charge 19 cents each. AND, they give you 20 free pics with your first order.

More good news: I just got an email saying that if you enter the code NOJOKE when you check out, you can get a free 8x10. It's only good for April 1st, so hurry. I picked out a nice picture of the wife with the boys, and had it enlarged. Should be a nice suprise for her.