Adventures of Darth Daddy

Thursday, April 06, 2006


Well, it wasn't Bells Palsy - it had to be something slightly worse. She was recalled to the dr's again, and then sent to an ocular specialist, who diagnosed her with E K C. Which stands for :
Epidemic Kerato Conjunctivitus

Considering the first word is EPIDEMIC, it ain't good. It's highly contagious. It's course should run itself through in about 2 or 3 weeks, but before it's gone, she will temporarily lose vision in her infected eye, loss of facial muscles, and it will start to effect the other eye as well.

Considering the highly contagious nature of this thing, she's like "I can't imagine who I go tthis from". I'm like "Probably from the last weepy eyed-face paralyzed bitch that you came in contact with! Think back - any guys ink at you, and really went OVERBOARD about it? It's not that they liked you! It's that their friggin eye was paralyzed! "

I know - I know - it's not nice ot make fun of her - and I really am worried. But the way I see it, since she's quarantined with ME, I stand about a 90% chance of being the last weepy eyed winking asshole that the next person saw before THEY got it. WHen she came home from the hospital, I asked her if she had her house keys. WHen she said "Of course", I tried to make up some shit about burglars earlier today, and I had to change the locks, and we only have one key, and I lost that one - so maybe you can go stay with your mother?!

Stay with your mother - now that's some funny shit. As many times as I've heard women threaten to go stay with mother (not mine - when we fight, she threatens to send ME to her mothers!). I even offered to put her up in a hotel, but she got suspicious when she saw (thru the front window) that I was writing her one of her own checks. She's got at least one good eye left.

Oh man - just thinking back on that makes me laugh. Im laughing so hard, Im almost crying. I can feel a slight welling in my - eye - OH SHIT! (just kidding for now - but I got 3 weeks to go!!!!!!)


ps. I havne't had any problems spending time with my boys at the YMCA the last 2 times I took them in. But the hispanic Chewbacca bitch has desided to treat me like a pedophile. Anytime any child comes near me and talks, or stops and sits down (even if it's on seperate ends of a basketball bench), she immediately calls the child to her, and sends them off in the other direction. Bitch.


  • At 11:42 AM, Anonymous Joel s said…

    Hey! glad to hear your wife's face will recover! seems like the incidence of complications is pretty low too, so good news there! If you have to join an epidemic, at least it's a realtively harmless one :D

    Also glad to hear the YMCA is going better. I think chewbacca needs to take a pill.

  • At 1:10 PM, Blogger Mike said…

    Hey, get the wife to go spread the weepy eye stuff around the Y staff.

    Then when Chewbacca gets the eye funk, she will only be able to see you stalking kids half of the time.

  • At 3:39 PM, Blogger Phil said…

    That is some scary stuff! Glad to hear it's not as bad as it could be.

    On the Y situation, I now have this picture in my mind of you walking into the Y with your kids and all the staff there look like those aliens from the Mos Eisley bar scene in Star Wars.


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