Adventures of Darth Daddy

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Tonights words of wisdom

Let's see - I cruised the blog on my sidebear, and found one kinda relative to today. Phil over at A FAmily Runs Thru It was talking about the ongoing battle between "working" and "say at home" mother.

It's relevance to today was that the wife and I decided to take the boys to a YMCA that was further aay than the one that tried to kick me out, but was larger and may have more features/programs to offer. We arrived around 10am, and as wel walked up, surrounded by other moms dragging their kids along, I turned to my wife. I looked down and saw that she had sneakers on, but her sweat pants went all the way down to her shoes.

I told her "If you want to blend in with all the Yuppie mommies, who are ditching their kids to ChildWatch so they can have ME TIME in a yoga or spin class, you are gonn ahave to ditch those 80's sweats. You need the "new" kind, that are like Capris. (For all you guys reading, Capris are what women get to call pants that are above the ankle. On guys, we call them either TOO FRIGGIN SHORT, or highwaters. We also point and laugh. BUT, on women, we get to see some ankle, and that can be kinda sexy - )

It hit me then that the women at the other Y dress the same as the women at THIS Y. It's almost like there was some fashion dress code for escaping your kids. OK, I sound harsh on them for using childwatch. I will use childwatch too. But Ive at least taken to the time to see that it is as described - child WATCH. They dont' do shit other than sit there and watch the day go by. Other than slightly socialized, I won't expect Logan or Lance to leave childwatch one day and start spouting the alphabet, or show me how they learned to throw a ball better.

After spending 13 years as a children entertainer, and having a bs and a MsEd related to Psych and family (and the wife is a special ed teacher with an Msed degree as well - and I helped her study for her tests), i'm bitter to see that the childwatch makes no effort to interact better with the kids. AND, it angers me that the parents who drop their kids off are cluless about this.

Added to this is the "sterotypical look" that I'm seeing. I guess it's not enough for mommy to get her own time for spin class, or yoga, but there's also a dress code/dress competition. Must be a girl thing. I dress the kids well, but most of the time look like Adam Sandler with all my hocket jerseys. (Not a big fan of hockey, I just like hockey jerseys).


It's the big boys night night time, and Peanuts is coming on. It's an Easter special. So I (we) decide to let him watch it before goign to bed. We get comfy on the couch (Logan and I), the wife slips upstairs to email the world about her medical woes (I'll get to those in a minute), and we start to watch the cartoon. I was shocked at some of the shit we saw. The gang is walking thru a department store, and SNoopy and Sally decide to have fun trying on hats tht were on a display. They try on all the hats, and Charlie Brown comes up tapping his foot. He's not happy, and they all walk off together. Leaving the hats on the floor. Logan looks at me and says "Da, they made BIG mess. That not good". I agreed, and we continued watching. The opening scenes had Woodstaock upset because his nest got flooded in the rain. He complains to Snoopy, who tries to help, but Woodstock turns the nest upsidedown on his head, soakign him. Logan also thought that this was not nice.

Then, the final blow before we switched the station. Snoopy buys Woodstock a birdhouse. Woodstock cant fit inthe hole. Snoopy bores a bigger hole, and Woody refuses to go in. He refuses twice, before Snoopy gets mad, rips the house off of the tree, and bashes Woody over the head with it. (Thereby ending up with that ungreatful little yellow bastard IN the house where he was supposed to be). Unfuckinbelievable.

I've felt bad (like I was being a bad parent) for leaving the 3 Stooges on too long when the kids are watching. But this shit! This is NOT the peanuts we grew up on.


Ok, long story short, they misdiagnosed her, and she was able to do it better by using Dr GOOGLE. She DID have the EKC (epidemic Kerato Conjuncivitus). BUT, that was not all. The EKC was just a component of a bigger thing, that included bad fevers and some really really not feeling good. This new thing she ended up having, they say that you are genetically disposed to gettign it if exposed. And it will either stregthen your dna, or delete it. She's still here, so I guess it got strengthened.

I made a joke to her, when she asked me what I was doing, that I had spent all day on a science project. I was trying to combine matter and anti-matter, but so far, kept coming up with nothing (HAHAHAHHAHAAHA).
Never dreaming that my wife was going to either unravel at the cellular lever, or transform in a New Mutant.

On a good note, the facial paralasis never crossed her face to the other side, so her other eye was uneffected. She has made almost a full recovery (cept for blurred vision in the effected eye, that they said shoudl return- or they can treat it with steroids), she is virus free, is no longer contageaous, and can go back to work next week (after spring break is over).

On a bad note, she has so far been unable to exhibit any signs of mutant powers, like levelation or mind reading. Ok, the mind reading one scared me, but I was hoping for fire creation, invisibility, the power to lose 80 pounds at will, somethign cool like that.


  • At 6:48 AM, Blogger Jeff said…

    Couple of things....

    The Y: Sounds like that childwatch thing really sucks. Have you thought of approaching them with a better idea? Could turn into something for ya....
    Peanuts: Sorry dude.... these ARE the Peanuts we grew up on. Personally, I get upset when I'm watching Tom and Jerry with the girls and they've cut out Jerry getting knocked on the head with a frying pan only to leave a dent that looks just like him. Its all about explaining to your kid whats right and wrong. I watch The Stooges with the girls all the time.
    The Wife: Sorry about those mutant powers. Maybe next time. Keep an eye out for those Wolverine claws though.

  • At 8:25 AM, Blogger Mike said…

    We have a stack of 3 Stooges on DVD and T&J is usual lunchtime fare around here.

    But it is something that our kids watch, but if other kids from the 'hood are around, no way. I certainly understand why parents would not want little ones watching.

    So far the boy has not hit his siter upside the head with a mallet or a pan.

  • At 4:13 AM, Blogger Phil said…

    I'm avoiding the Three Stooges for my kids. They see enough slapping and poking with Laurel & Hardy and Abbott & Costello. Was it really funny back then to see two grown men slap each other in the face?


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