A review

I went back and reread my ymca entry, and realized that it was rather lengthy. I thought I'd summarieze, for those who don't like reading a novel.

I went to the YMCA, took my kids to the gym, that was reserved for the Childwatch program. My kids got socialized, and I stayed around to keep after non-walking Lance. after 3 months of doign this, I was confronted after walking in, and told I was not welcomed anymore. The kids could stay, but I had to go. I met with admin people, who told me that I had every right to be in there with my kids. There were some ugly parts, and parts where they tried their best (not the admin people - the regular staff) to make me feel like a real dumbass.

Im still not sure what prompted this event - parent (women) complaints about me, staff members not liking me in there, of staff members afraid that my interaction made them look bad for being such slackers. I realize Im an anomoly - no other parents bring their kids there to "play" like I do, and none stick around to observe/interact. All the mommies drop their kids off like they are delivering laundry - "I'll be back in an hour - make sure it's ready."

Regardless of the originating event, I have no other course of thought than to feel it was gender based. It happened, I played my card right, and my kids won. I wonder what they would have felt they could get away with if I had just left quietly?

OK - time to rant about other things:


BURGER KING -ADVENTURES IN STUPIDITY
Tonight, we went to Burger King for dinner. Logan wanted an Ice Age kids meal, and got a toy that has a sloth standing on top of a maze. There is a hol ein the top where you drop in a ball - and another hole in the bottom (at a different location) for retrieving the ball after you complete the maze. EXCEPT that there was no friggin ball. None in the package. So I took it to the front, where 2 girls half ass listened to my problem. One tried to look in the bags of 2 other identical toys, to see if there was a ball in there, but the other one yelled at her, and said to both of us "There's no ball in any of them - they just come like that." Just come like that? A kids toy - a maze - a hole to drop in a ball that it doesn't coem with? WYF? I hear Carlos Mencia behind me yelling "DEE DEE DEE!"
So I got back to the table and explain what happened to my family. Part disbelief, part laughing our asses off at not only the people who MADE this item, but what dubmasses the BK girl was for blowing me off like that. I played with every single toy that came thru McDonalds when I worked there (back in high skool). I liked to consider it "product awareness". So we're laughing and all, and I start to read the paper that came with it. Directions? Where the hell did THIS come from?? I read on - you're supposed to fill the Sloths left hand with WATER (not a ball), let it drop into the hole (and into the maze) , and you use WATER to navigate the maze. No wonder there was no ball. I feel stupid, sure. DEE DEE DEE! But not as dumb as the BK people, who tried to tell me that you just imagine a ball in the maze. (BTW - before we read the part about the water, we balled up a small piece of bun, made our our damn ball, and rolled the bitch around in the maze until it fell out the other hole. Logan suprised us both by showing very good skill at doing this (the maze navigating, not the bread to ball magic trick.

WIFE SWAP

Just finished watching WIFE SWAP, where they traded a Star Wars mom out with a stern religious mom. If you didnt see it, you'll be a bit lost at this entry - but if you did see it - remember that families name . Not the SW one - the other won. Some day, either that wife or those kids are gonna snap, and kill the father. Maybe even kill the mother too, just cause she was a meely minded nincompoop who felt most comfortable under the thumb of some tight assed, obsessive compulsive neat freak , who put his cleaning in front of his family. This guy has the warmth of a doorknob, and his wife the typical "abused wife type" that won't say shit to him, and actually PREFERS to be controlled. Uptight, self centered religious control freak
husband piss me off. But he'll collect his dividends - just bide your time. Oh, and it was cool to see that the SW family, although disconnected and problematic, had the most openess for accepting change that brought them closer together.


Jack Black and Nick Awards

Jack Black is the host of the Nick Tv channel awards show. I hate Jack. An overbearing, non-acting putz. I didn't see Kong, but I hope that big ass ape (Kong, not Jack) got eaten. Dont care if it was the gorilla, or the T-rex, or a group of displaced cannibal ribesmen from New Guinnie. But, if anyone has watched Nick recently, that song that he does "Jack is a bringin on the fun..."...that song is catchy. I like it - just wish someone else had done it.

Is that even his real name? I heard a while back about how Michael Keaton really was named Michael Douglas, but because there already was a Micheal Douglas in the actors guild, he had to change his name. Jack Black sounds like something I'd come up with on the fly when one of those annoying ass collection agency people get me on the phone.

Dr WHO?

Not really a knowledgable person on the show - but I tuned into the Scifi channel the other night and fell in love. I haven't had much use for the Scifi channel since they shafted Farscape, but BILLIE PIPER, an actress on the Dr WHO show, is HOT! She reminds me of Olivia D'abo. And I LOVES me some Olivia D'abo. HEY - I just did a search for them both, and came across a side by side comparison - Olivia and Billie (its about half way down the page)

THIS PLACE IS LIKE A ZOO

Ok - it actualy WAS a zoo. Today , I took the boys to the zoo. I got frustrated at how often Im chasing after Logan, at Lance's expense. When Logan was a baby, we spent loads of time at the zoo. I'd point to different animals, or bugs, or whatever, and say their names. I think it had a profound impact on his vocabulary and his general knowldge and awareness. Also, it created a love for animals. But Lance isn't getting that same opportunity. Whether Lance is in a backpack, or in a stroller, most of the time he's being whooshed around chasing Logan, who had run ahead. Today, I had enough. I warned Logan twice that if he ran ahead, and I had to yell for his to come back, that he was going into the stroller. And of course, it happened. He threw the biggest temper tantrum Ive ever seen (almost). He lost his friggin mind - yelling and screaming that he was a BIG BOY, and he was NOT getting into the baby stroller. Short story - he did. He was nto happy, and neither was I, but his ass stayed in that stroller while I pointed out all the neat stuff to Lance. Like the elephants (which Lance got a bit scared of, but was ok with once we waved "Bubye" to them. It was only about 15-20 minutes, but I really got a chance to see how much more of my attention Lance needs. I didn't ignore Logan (well, not really), but when he started to flair up a bit, I reminded him how unfair he was being to baby, and to enjoy the view from the stroller like Lance usually has to. At least he got to view things a bit slower, fo rnot having to chase after anyone. I hope today made an impact on him. I really stuggled with the idea of letting him out after a while. I'm a firm believer in "letting him have the chance to do better, not just punish him". But I also got the feeling that his temper, while full blown, was still superficial. So in the stroller he stayed, and after a while, out to the truck we went. I didn't want to beat a dead horse, but talked breifly on the wy home about how unhappy I was about what happened, and how I hoped that our next trip to the zoo would be a happier one. He agreed. Guess time will tell.

Oh shit - I just remembered - we went to Walmrt today, and I bought Memoirs of a Geisha. I shoudl be watching that. Gotta go ya'll - thanks for reading!

Before I forget

Thanks for the comment, guy from The Whited News. Always nice to connect with more dads out there. Welcome to the joy ride I call "parenting". Please stand up, unbuckle your seat belt, and fell to scream along as needed!!
btw -the ride will NEVER come to a complete stop.

Shannon

Ps. There's one shot on your sight of your youngest where I swear he could pass as my youngests twin. And I love that black and white of the boys together.

Face it, bitch - Im a better mommy than you are!

I came up with a shitload of titles for tonights blog. I want to share this story, because it can happen to any at-home dad, and this is the type of sexist bullshit that is mostly reserved for playgrounds. Ask any at home dad, and he can tell you a story of reverse gender based discrimination, by women, because we don't fit the society "image" of a primary caregiver.

Let me start by saying that I stayed calm throughout the entire process. I was (and still am ) raging inside over this. But, I had what has to be the best night of aikido sinc I joined, so I'm a bit calmer than I was ealier.

BACKGROUND: I have a 3yr old and an 18 month old. The younger is just starting to walk, but still mostly crawls. I wanted them to get better socialized, and learn social skills (unlike when they are with me and we all act like Klingons). Playgrounds and playplaces are fine, but they just haven't been cutting it lately. I think they older boy has progressed beyond the 3 minute social interaction, and I want him to learn to play nice with kids over a longer period of time. For financial and personal reasons, daycare is not an option.

For the last 3 months, I've been taking the kids (about 3 times a week) to the local YMCA. They have a childwatch program. The wife will sometimes put them in childwatch at night, when she works out, but I never actually "leave them" in the mornings. From 10am-12pm, the Childwatch program at the Chesapeake YMCA (Greenbriar parkway) has the gymnasium reserved. This allows them to take an overpopulation of kids out of a cramped playroom, and let them run all over the basketball indoor court. They have little flat scooters, balls, hoolahoops
- simple playthings for the kids. It's a cool deal. PLUS, with it being "reserved", adults can't go in there and play basketball. No fear of my kid getting wolluped in the face by a missed freethrow from some Jordan wannabe.

My younger, as I said above, it not yet 100% walking. This means that, if I checked them both into childwatch, Logan would get to go to the gym, and Lance would have to stay in the infant section. To make sure that Logan doesn't run amuck, and that Lance gets to play with the bigger kids (which he prefers- he screams if he's stuck with the babies), I've been staying with them in the gym. They've never asked me to "check in" the boys, so after clearing the front desk, we go directly to the gym. Logan grabs a balls and heads off for fun (and I can keep an eye on him the whole time), and I follow Lance (often times on my knees) as he crawls/walks around. Lance likes picking up the basketballs and throwing them. We've spent countless time lately playing "catch". *I should mention that, of course, other kids see this and want to play ball as well. Most times, they include Lance, and will roll the ball back and forth with him. So he's getting social interactions with kids as well*.

3 Months we've been doing this. One time, I overheard an older staff member saying how fortunate they were to have me in there, because they had so many kids, and I was able to occupy many of them by simply playing a BIG game of catch with them. AND, I should add, most of the daytime daycare watchers are worthless. They are young, and inexperienced, and have little to no interaction with the kids. They truly are child WATCH. That's all they do. Except when they try a few shots at the hoop. (I tell ya - just one rebound hits my kid, and I'll someones ass on a stick!) They cluster near each other, and talk. There are only 1 or 2 worth a damn. They are older 30/40 something year old black women. THEY will sit with the kids. I've seen them playing with the kids, singing songs, teaching letters/alphabet. They've done a wonderful job at not just babysitting the kids, but entertaining them while they educate them. My hats off to these 2 ladies.

Ok - enough background - today, the shit hit the fan.

We went to the Y, we signed in, and as we entered the gym, I was confronted by one of those younger shitheads I've mentioned above, and told that I had to go. The boys counld play, if I singed them into childwatch and brought them back (and them went away). The reasons?

• The gym was reserved for childwatch. She offered to provide me with a schedule to prove that.
• There are no other parents that stay in there, so only staff members should be in there
• There have been members complaining about my being in there.

Basically (paraphrased) "You're kids can stay - well, the older can, but you can fuck off. Go lift weights or something".

I saw red! But I kept calm. I softly whispered to her that this was sexist bullshit, gathered the boys, and headed to the front desk. This is where it gets even fuckin funnier, as long as it's not YOU that it happens to.

The same lady that just talked to the boys before we went in looked suprised that we were coming back so soon. She asked if everything was ok. I told her that I needed to make a complaint. I explained that I was told I was not welcomed in the gym with my kids. She tell sme that the gym is reserved for childwatch and not open to the public during certain hours. I say "I KNOW that - that's why we are in there. I won't take my kids in there to play when adults are throwing around basketballs. One would hit my kid in the head or something. Get this - she says "Well, Im not sure if the kids are throwing baskeballs, but Im sure the childwatch people have that under control". HUH? WTF? Are we having two different conversations here? I almost break into Chris Tucker and yell "DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUTTA MY MOUTH?! When I tell her that the kids are no throwin the balls, the adults would be, and that is why we prefer the childwatch time, she breaks out a friggin monthly schedule and tries to show me where it says that the gym isn't open to basketball playing members during the "childwatch hours". NO FUCKIN SHIT, LADY! GODAMMIT! IM SURROUNDED BY ASSHOLES!

She asks me if I want a comment card. I said "Yes - and I want someone to talk to. This isn't a postit note kinda thing". She says she'll see what she can do.

She disapears, and returns to feed me the following line of shit
"You see, you're not allowed in there because:

• Other parents see that you aren't a staff member, and have questioned why you are allowed in there
• They even tried to tell me that it wasn't only women who made complaints - which I knew was horshit. 99% of the "parents" (they always said the non-gendered term PARENTS, and never "moms") utilizing the childwatch program before the hour of 4pm are female. So she told me that it wasn't due to my gender.
• Get this: The staff members are qualified in childcare, and CPR, and other related certifications. I got no fucking idea what this has to do with anything. I HOPE they do, but it was a non-related fact.
  

I told her that she was off her rocker if she thought I would buy that load of bs. IF there were complaints, they were made by women. I doubt that any complaints would have been made if I were a mom , in there playing with my kids. And my presence has no bearing on how many or how qualified their staff members are. No one sees me coming and says "Alright, I can squeeze in a smoke break - the dad can cover for me". I calmly explained that what was being done to me was unethical, sexist, non-Christian, and against policy (I bluffed on the last one - but I figure GO FOR IT). I suggested that she get someone of importance to appear in the lobby. She checked, said that there was a big meeting, but she'd check to see if somone would come out (Im thinking "A meeting! Great - more then one person of importance. Show me the way! Im great at public speaking - I have a masters degree in education, 13 years experience in childrens entertainment, have beena certified police officer, AND have a spotless criminal background.")

We wait, and out from the back come a heavy set gentleman, who introduced himself. I start of with "Before we begin, can you please tell me what your status/station/position is here. Because so far everyone has been trying to whitewash this problem with smiles and rainbows, and I want to know Im talking to someone who can make an impact on this issue".

I explain my situation, and after listening, he tells me that I can stay in there, at least with Lance, if not with both kids. I tell him "Wonderful - you are now arguing MY argument for me. We sagree on this, but I'm being prohibited. What can we do together to remedy this situation?"

(I am so fucking proud of me for not only staying calm through this - and not swearing! - but also because I was able to keep Logan busy without doing the typical attention getting stuff (that is so wrong) - like, when he said "Dad - I want to go play basketball", I said " Just a few minutes more, honey. I've got to talk with someone, and you will.
Logan: I want you to play with me.
Me: Not sure about that - have to talk it over with someone, but Im sure they will let You play basketball regardless.

The reason I mention the above conversation is I've seen (tv and first hand) how some parents would have said the following:
Me: SORRY! I cant play with you . They said I cant play with you any more. Maybe you should ask them by daddy is a bad guy, and they won't let us play together anymore.

People who do this piss me off. They speak loudly, so everyone can hear them, and end up putting undue stress on the child, who not only isn't the problem, but has absolutely no control over the outcome. Dumb ass people. I swear.

Back to my story.

The guy suggest that we go have talk with the lady who is the head of the Child Watch program. So we take a walk down the hallway, he asks her to come out, and we chat. He gives her the cliffnotes on my problem, I fill in a few points of importance here and the there, and it ends with her saying :

• ANY parent, regardless of gender, are allowed access to the room that their children are in.
  
• I (me) have the right to observe, interact, play with - my children in the gym , even if the childwatch is occupying it.
• She's seen me in the gym before (this was a suprise for me - I don't recall seeing her before - and she was short, cute, and blond - so I'D REMEMBER!), and she thinks that I'm doing a commendable job with the boys.
• Any complaints from staff members, parents, or even the children, should have been brought to HER attention (as head of child watch services).
• In short, the staff had no right to uninvite me. (hurray!)

As we concluded, they asked "Are you going back to the gym? Or are you done today bcasue of this?" I explained that while I was WAY done with the place because of this problem (even though it was decided in my favor), our trip wasn't about ME, it was about the boys, and they still wanted to play with the kids. My feelings are secondary to their needs. (yeay ME!)

So they escorted us back to the gym, opened the door, and said really loud "Here you go - go on in and play, have a good time". Immediately, the staff flocked to her like she was handing out raises. Exspecially that mexican amazon bitch (that I've never liked because of her crude attitude with the kids - she'll toss a ball against the wall, and then yell at the kids who see it, and do it with her - She alone has been a deciding factor in my decision not to just dump my kids off and leave. I should say that the evening staff is much nicer - young still, but more childfriendly and responsible)

I sent Logan off to play with some kids, and followed Lance as he walked/crawled around. I gave the staff a few minutes to raise hell with the main lady and the guy, and mosied (is that a real word - mOwsied?) over to stick it to them one last time.

FLASH BACK TO YESTERDAY: The kids had linked 4 or 5 of those square scooter thingies, and I scooted them around the floor, while we all made train sounds. Logan and Lance were aboard. During that time, the staff sat on a side bench and did NOTHING.

Back to today: I approach the group and ask what prompted this? Did the staff have a problem with me? What did I do?

Amazon starts of by saying that parents see Im not a staff member, and are concerned that Im near their kids. She says she would have explained that if I hadn't of stormed out of there. (Mind you, I kept my cool when leaving, didn't get huffy, nor puffy, not threatened to blow anyones house down.

I countered with "Well, after being refused access, and told to leave, I'd hardly consider collecting my kids , not making a scene, and leaving as "storming", but I guess that's up to interpretation. WHat "d also like to ask is what level of interaction with the kids have I done that you consider innapropriate? Yesterday, for example (here it comes!), when i was on my knees pushing the scooters around like a train, and all you staff kids just sat on the bench doing nothing - was that something that you should have been doign instead of me? (ZING!!)"

I made nice with the childwatch people, superfician as it may be, because the boys like/want/enjoy/need to be able to play there. Im sure that there will come a time soon, when I can leave them, and have some time to myself. But right now, I don't need it. I get my ME time at night, when I go to aikido. (Gender dig approaching) - Im not one of those non-working child unfriendly bitches that joines the Y, dumps off my kids at childwatch, and never checks back on them until their ME time is over.

Some may argue that me and my kids have a bit of a dependancy issue. Perhaps. We enjoy each other. Logan likes to play with me, and with Lance. If I was to drop of Logan to play without me, he'd throw a fit for about 5 mintues, then be as right as rain (I tried ot once). Lance stayed more upset about the seperation - not sure if it was because of seperation anxiety from ME or because they seperated him from his brother (and put him in the baby area, whcih has no view of the big kid area). I have an opportunity that Im going to milk for all it's worth - the oppourtunity to bond with my kids.

I've often said that kids on playgrounds respond over-favorably to me, and I think it's because their own dad (or even both parents) don't give them enough attention. Taking your kids TO the playground, and actually PLAYING with them are two different things. Talk WITH your kids, even if they only say "da" and Ga" and "Girl" (like Lance).

I hope and dream that the time I invest with my kids will pay off in divdends over time. Like when they get older and have a greater sense of self - like when they grow up and always feel they can talk to me - like when they have kids, and raise them with love - and get to see their own kids do the same.


Today, in the grand scheme of things at the YMCA, was probably just a small ripple, and a diverted potencial of negative publicity.

But to me,

it was a TRIUMPH !

Oh LUCY - IM HOOOOOOOME

Im alive - Im pretty healthy - just been slack about posting on the blog. I was gonna pass it by tonight, but I wanted to make a list of things I hope to comment on soon.

The TV show Black/White

Lance has finally started to walk.

Memoirs of a Geisha - Actually, this oen will be a movie review. I so want this dvd, but the kids fell aslwwp in the car on the way to Walmart tonight. I'll pick it up tomorrow and let ya'll knwo how it was.


Aikido testing coming up in April.

What I didn't get outta going back to church,

Zen stories for the kids

Reconnecting with music from my past.

The boy's music favorites , and how they've changed.

How all the yardwork is defrosting with the weather - and multiplying the more I ignor eit.

Markie Post - what ever happened to her? She was hot!

I'll be back tomorrow..

Getting better

I tried to post the othe rnight, but Blogger had some isues, and wouldn't let me. It also wouldn't let me access any of the blogs I read that were also on Blogger. It did, however, let me access my martial arts blog. Weird.

The P-numonia and the flu are gone. I have remnants of the bronchitus still lingering. I'm drinking water, and having "productive" coughing, so I guess it's just a matter of time.

I went back to aikido class tonight - no major coughing boughts, just an annoying runny nose. Felt good to get back into the swing of things..


Let's see - the kids are well, as is the wife. The weather is still cool, so our daytime outings have been limited to the Ymca, or a fast shopping trip to the Walmart for snacks.

Guess that's about it for now, cept that I still havent received any word from my old dojo. I sent them a letter requesting a signed letter from them, saying that I was released from the contract. I think I will draft another one, and give them a deadline, after which I'll file suit against them. I shoulda never agreed to mediation. I got fucked. I shoulda walked outta that meeting with some financial compensation, at at minimum, a letter releasing me from the contract. If anyone reading this ever has to deal with mediation in a civil case, make sure that you bring friends...someone to sit in the background, not involved in the conversation, that can give you an overview of what's going on... with your best interests in mind. Or at least take a potty break to mull things over. Woulda helped me a bunch.

Road to recovery

My health is gettign better. Still got bronchitus, so Im coughing a lot. But at least the fevers are gone, and those fever dreams with them.

I can't seem to bring up my blog site. I can bring up the martial arts site, but not this one. I got in thru the back door to be able to post this.

Just a quick note to tell all that Im alive and getting better.

Tunnel at the end of my light

At least Im matching today - my snot, phlem AND pee are the same color orange!

The wife went to the Dr, and came home with a diagnosis of Pnumonia. Which means that I'm battling Pnumonia AND bronchitus.

Today has been the best of the last few days. I only napped a short while, was able to eat a bit, can laugh a little without hacking up a lung, and am in much better spirits. Still feel drained, but at least I think Im nearing the end of this.

I really have to give a thumbs up to the Walmart EQUATE brand of nighttime cold and cough medicine. That's some good shit!

Tomorrow, we have an appointment to have Logan tested for preskool. Weird - a test that we HOPE he fails. We decided that the socialization a few days a week would do him good, as well as give Lance and I more time to bond. So if he does bad tomorrow, he's in! Watch him channel Newton or Einstein. Just, hopefully, NOT Harrison Ford.

Fever dreams

Im done bein gsick. Not in the pysical sense - but I'm ready to throw in the towel.

The night before, I fell asleep listening to a commercial that allows you to view your credit report. In my delusional sleep, I printed up 10 copies of my report, placed them in different colored folder, and then spend the next hour arranging them. First by color, then by size, then in alphabetical, and so on.

But last night takes the cake.

I watched "What lies beneath", with Harrison Ford. FOr 3 hours, everyone I met in my dreams had to walk thru the woods, and dip their hand into this lake, or else Harrison Ford would get them. Sometimes he got them anyways. I woke up, realized I was in a loop, and tried to take a different image back in to the dream. I imagined judo moves. But shortly after falling asleep, all my judo partners had (like the others) to dip their hand in the pond, or Mr. Ford would seal their fate.

I finally woke up in a pool of sweat. It felt like someone had poured a glass of water on me.

Today, I felt better, and the kids did too. SO I ventured to the zoo to give them some fresh air. I was ine for a while, but then the fevver started up again, and we had to come home.

The kids are downstairs sleeping, as is the wife, and I plan to be shortly.

BTW- I finally got over that Harrison Ford glitch by imagining that I had a shotgun to return to someone. I can't explain it - but it worked.

Night all

My accomodating children

I feel dead! Achey head, runny nose, and this damn cough. When I laugh (or it sometimes attacks just because), I start to cough and hack. At the same time, the coughin causes my lower spine to hurt, which doubles me over (or more accurately put - ukemi (fall) to the ground in pain). I thought I was a step ahead for amoment- pu tit is smarter than me: When I felt the couch coming on, I would lay down on my back, and scrunch my knees to my chest. No lower back pain. But instead, my temples would POUND like a drum.

For most of the mouring, I was on the couch in a state of stuppor. I'd come to, now and again, and see that the boys were playign nicely. A few times, I'd wake up to find that one, or the other, or BOTH boys had crawled up next to/on top of me, and were sleeping too. We all are sick now.

Around 1030am, the front door started to open - which freaked me out. I just came too, still had the chills, saw tat both the boys were close to me, and had no idead who was coming in. I grabbed a jo and started stalking the front door, and found it was the wife. She also had been running a high fever, and got sent home from work. We all spent most of the day in and out of sleep - wherever we happened to be.

(Side note: fever dreams suck - last night, I woke up with the chills. I imagined that Bumbledor had granted me special exemption from cold, because the blanket I had on started with the same letter as the word "bear". I drifted back to sleep - still freezing. I dreamt that I woke up shortly afterwards, and trned on the heater. I really wok eup 30 minutes later, still freezing, with no blanket, no heater on, and no friggin magical exemption. Imagine my suprise.)

COURT STUFF: I mailed a very nicely worded 'request' for a letter of dissolution from th eold dojo. I'll give them 30 days to comply, and then will go on the offensive. And there aint gonna be no more bullshit mediation this time.

I'd chat more, but I feel like shit. Im off to bed.

I'm still alive

but just barely. Was feeling fine (the kids have colds thouhg) until I go tback fro Aikido practice tonight. A fever came out of nowhere - I got a runny nose, high fever, the chills, and a cough that feels like it is due to hacing swallowed a feather (and it's stuck in my throat). On the way home, I coughed so hard.. how do I put this.....I coughed so hard that my scrotum muscle cramped up. Sorry for the visual - but it was not a happy moment for me either.

The case: The short of it is that it was sent to mediation, and we both dropped our suits.

The long of it is, after a review and contemplation, that I was rushed thru the mediation process, and ended up dropping my suit, but NOT having a detailed list of what I "wanted to get out of this". We signed an agreement that we were simply dropping our case that day. They can sue again..and probably will. On the drive home I realized that I failed to have a Letter of Dissolution of the original promissary note included as part of the mediated settlement. DOH! I feel like such an ass.

On the good foot, I blind sided them with my concerns, as well as all the evidence I had to produce. I didn't show all my cards, but it was faster to do so in mediation than if they had requested a declaration of defense (a letter from me describing why I felt I didn't owe the money). Hell, that could have been a novel by the time I was done.

I will post again, in a while, about what all I had as evidence. Still not sure if they are tuned into this station or not. But let me say that she (they only sent the office manager - no husband, wife or lawyer), and although she walked in with a stack of papers/folders in her hands, all she could produce was the original promissary note and an email I sent (I of course had both of these in my folder as well).

Sun Tsu, in the Art of War stated :
When you are the anvil, be patient. When you are the hammer - STRIKE!

I really feel like I was the friggin hammer, and was still patient. I was armed for bear, they brought a bbgun, and I walked away with a draw.

My current plan. I have left a message for the office manager requesting a letter of dissolution of the promissary note. I also have mailed a copy of this request to them. If I don't hear bacl from them in a few days, I will resend the request via registered mail. If I STILL don't hear back from them, I'll know that they are simply regrouping, and may try this again.

This is where I feel confident. I still have a decent case prepared. I can always add to it. If I don't receive the requested letter within 30 days, I plan to go on the offensive and refile suit against them. It'll cost me $50, but if they crefuse to supply a letter, chances are that they will sue me again anyways. Sun Tsu also said that an army that has control of the battlefield (when and where the battle takes place , has an advantage over the enemy. Doggy barked. SHortly, doggie may bite.

Thanks for ya'll concern, and I'll post more later when I feel better.

Shannon