Thanksgiving

Shhh - not too loud. I'm upstairs at the inlaws - hiding. Too much family down there - too much turkey in here!
Oops - Logan just found me - now "we're" hiding.


Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

Wanted to jot this down

We all went to visit Logan's "great pa" in the hospital the day before he passed away. We saw him around afternoon, and he passed away that night. We had preped Logan for what he would see by telling him that greatpa would have an oxygen mask on, for air, just like firefighters. He seemed fine when we entered the room, and even wanted the wife to pick him up, so he could see greatpa better.

In the car on the way there, Logan had commented on how pretty the sky was, and that he was going to tell greatpa about it. The wife said that was fine, that maybe greatpa didn't have a window.

In the room, when the wife lifted him up, he looked down at greatpa and said "The sun came up today. It was a good day".

I hope to hear something that calming before I go.

Other goings on

The wifes grandfather passes away a few days ago. He was in his 90's. His passing was expected at any time, but as with all loss, regardless of the anticipation, it still strikes without warning.

The boys were on the best behavior during the wake and service.


Logan liked seeing "great paw" when he was alive. He's still much to young to grasps the concept of loss on this scale, but to prepare him for it, I tried to explain death to him. (There was no body at the wake or service - he'll be cremated. Not sure how Logan woudl ahve reacted to seeing a corpse ).

Anyways, I explained to him the within each of us there is a spirit. A life force. And that sometimes, that spirit wants to be free. Free from being sick, and from being old. He followed along, and acted like he understood.

But I think I did a much better job when I compared our spirit to batteries in a toy. I explained that just like when you remove battereies from a toy, that kinda what happens when our soul leaves the body. The battereies can go somewhere else to be recharged - and maybe even put into another toy - the the body of a dead person was like a toy without batteries. It used to move fast, then started to slow down , and now doesn't move at all anymore. We miss our toy. We miss playing with it, but the toy isn't sad anymore. It can't break, or be slowed down anymore.

A few times since then, he's seen dead people on a tv show, and commented not only that they were dead, but that their batteries had been removed.

Tonight (the church service was this morning), before he fell asleep , he informed the wife and I that his batteries were very strong. We said "They sure are, sweetheart - they'll last you 100 more years"

Letter from me

Sorry fo rmy absense. I've written several posts trying to explain what was goign on - and never posted any of them. I had hoped that there was still a way of working things out. 3 weeks from the initiating event, I trust that the reason I'm getting no reply is because the worst has happened, and they hope I go queetly away. Such is not my way.

For almost a year, I've had problems with someone at my Norfolk Aikido dojo. He's a real asshole. I was friends with him when he first arrived - I found out what an asshole he was, and didn't talk to him much more. He orchestrated a bunch of problems for me at the dojo, causing a bunch of people to not talk to me, or refuse to work with me. Nothing was spoken - it was like I was being shunned.
No one would talk about it . There seemed no way to "fix" the problem. Being quiet and humble wasn't working. I wrote a post on my martial arts blog in the hopes of stirring up whoever read it (enough to get them talking to me), but instead I got an email from the instructor asking me not to come back. I was deemed a legal risk to the dojo, and asked not to return until they could talk to a lawyer.

Since then, I have sent not only a letter of explaination, but 2 follow up letters, and have recieved no response. I originally posted my Freedom Of Speech post to show that I was not a legal liability, and hoped the dojo would encounter no action because of what I posted.

The farther we get from OCt 20th, and the lack of response from the instructor lead me to believe that I have been 100% officially kicked out of Aikido of Norfolk. The 'hands off approach', and 'letting us work it out' appearently only applied while I was being shit on. While I sat there with no partner - while people talked behind my back, while people organiazed partnering so that I'd have to sit there with no one to wirk with, - - - I was on my own. As soon as I try to do something to provolk change, I get booted.

I will miss the instruction. I'll miss Steve, Sean, Mark and Wendy. I'll miss the new guys who made comments like "I really enjoy working with you", and "Man, I wish I had partnered with you earlier - you really took the time to show me this technique. You'd make a good teacher."

I'd still like to hear from you , Jim. If there's a way of working things out constructively, I wouldn't mind persuing it.

I figured I'd write this post because it's bound to get back to the dojo. I'm not sure whether my emails are not being received or being ignored. I'm willing to sit down and talk about this - I'm willing to make compromises for the sake of maintaining the class atmosphere - but I'm not willing to be hushed when I have the right to speak out. And I should have the right to be informed if I'm being officially kicked out. Going to the dojo was my release of stress from home - it shouldn't have been allowed to become a source of stress.