Beaten down
Man, I feel so drained. The pressure in my head has lessoned a bit from yesterday, but now congestion as come to visit, and my chest is starting to feel like someone is squeezing it. I went to jujitsu and Kung FU practice last night, but stayed home tonight. Yesterday was kinda bla. And Im not sure if it was because of my cold, or if it would have sucked regardless of my health. There is a married couple in my JJ class. They are very nice, in the mid to late 20's or so. Sensei mentioned that she would like us to get some sparring equipment in the near future. I have tons of extra stuff from my YMCA encounter. (Background--I took a few months of TKD at the local YMCA. There were several students (adult and children) who were too poor to buy their own sparring gear, so I started collecting inexpensive gear from Ebay. I now only need 1 set for myself, and a small set for Logan to wear when he plays karate. I offered to bring in the gear, and give it to them at now cost. Admitedly, I put this off for 2 weeks, but there was no deadline on when we needed it. Yesterday, I brought in a few pieces, showed it and gave it to them...then found a very polite note (and the gear) at my bag after class, saying they appreciated it, but they wer talkign with the owners about buying some new gear. NEW gear?! Instanly, the word YUPPIE came to mind. The gear I have is not trash.....most is barely worn. Some peices are even brand new (foot covering and hand gear). I knwo that sparring gear can run into some money, expecially if you buy it from someone else, instead of hunting for the best deal. And it really burns my ass to know that they are more willing to pay twice as much for it (as they would if they shopped around) buy purchasing it thru this McDojo. They are very profit driven (the dojo owners). I try to help fellow students out, and all I get is a "Thanks..but no thanks". Well..it's their money. Let em squander it if they like. Oh oh oh...also, they only have 1 lightweight TKD uniform to wear. They want to get a heavier weight karate gi, and will probably end up spending 2 to 3 times more than necessary...if they listen to me and shop around. They love mine....a 14-16oz weighted one (brushed cotton...very nice). Got mine off Ebay (brand new) for about $45. It's almost identicle to the expensive version that sells for around $150. I'v always stressed to them, that if they want to buy something thru me, I woudl add no mark up at all. They would only pay what the item costs. Oh well..
Added to this feeling of uselessness, the kung fu sifu has finally started to organize his thoughts, and created some neat training patterns. Similar to karate katas. Some are just for a specific animal, some demonstrate the various ways to strike with the hands, and also uses various stances. Bad thing is, he's still in " trying to work it out " mode, so watching him do it , and talk thru it, is like asking a 5 yr old his detailed plans for when he grows up. Both are excited, and envisioning, and will tell you a books worth of, "if I do this.." or "maybe I will do this". Maybe it was just my cold making me groggy. I couldn't help but think.."Look ...work it out, then show me". Normally, I would have been right there with him, trying it out as we went. But I sat there on the mat, watching the clock instead. Hope I didn't miss an oportunity for enlightenment. It's hard sometimes, seeing that he is in the infancy stages of creating the structured "how to teach what I have learned"...not being able to help him out. I don't knwo what he knows....so it's hard to me to offer help. And when I do offer a suggestion on how to better get a lesson across to students, there have been times when MY way includes something that he doesn't want them to learn quite yet.
EXAMPLE: Karate and TKD teaches us (genreally) to strike with only 1 hand at a time. We were learning a double punch. Both hand move at the same time. Left hand extends to a backfist strike (high) , the right hand extends to a punch. A 10 yr old couldnt quite get the idea of moving both hands at the same time, so I asked permission(very important), got a stick, and had him hol dit. He held it on his right side (up and down.)...his left hand grabbed it high (thumb up)...his right hand grabbed it low (thumb also up). Now, when the stick it pushed away, and to the left, the hand execute (if no stick were held)a left backfist and a right punch. It worked great. The kid was able to do it without the stick in a few minutes. BUT, afterward, I got the feeling that I had done something wrong....as if I had taken the empty hand lesson of the sifu, and turned it into a weapons lesson . I got this feeling from the sifu, who started giving off a weird vibe after he saw I was successful. He has often said that once we learn how to move our bodies, we will be able to learn weapons so much easier....because the movements are the same...only with a weapon involved. I wonder if he feel I "jumped the gun" by using a hando. Oh well....no more teaching for me. I'll let him figure it out, and enlighten myself on the way.
HOME STUFF: We got a new stove(oven) today. The inlaws bought it as a christmas present to the wife. It's really nice. 4 burners (2 each side) and one in the center. It can be a standard flame burner, or cam be used with a cover as a griddle for pancakes and such. (It's a gas range, by the way).
TRUCK STUFF: I spent and hour yesterday with the new truck. I took off the bumper and most all the front"stuff" that was broken. I used a Gorilla bar to pry back the crushed sections. A pair of vise grips and a monkey wrench helped bend things back into place. The fender is salvagable, but the hood won't line up. It'll need to be replaced. Then I hit Ebay...so far I got a very nice looking grill for $90, and a set of headlights for $85.There is a bumper for auction that ends in a day or 2..total (if no one else bids) will be $45 shipped. That leaves only the turn signal markers to get. They have tons for around $30 (for the pair). I found the drivers side one to be in perfect condition....so Im gonn ahold out for a cheper auction that has only the passenger one. Worst case, I'll spend $30 and get a sportier looking pair of them.
Well....that covers martials arts, the junk in the driveway, my crappy day at the dojo, and this annoying pressure Im feeling in my chest. Time to eat and fall asleep to a movie.
Added to this feeling of uselessness, the kung fu sifu has finally started to organize his thoughts, and created some neat training patterns. Similar to karate katas. Some are just for a specific animal, some demonstrate the various ways to strike with the hands, and also uses various stances. Bad thing is, he's still in " trying to work it out " mode, so watching him do it , and talk thru it, is like asking a 5 yr old his detailed plans for when he grows up. Both are excited, and envisioning, and will tell you a books worth of, "if I do this.." or "maybe I will do this". Maybe it was just my cold making me groggy. I couldn't help but think.."Look ...work it out, then show me". Normally, I would have been right there with him, trying it out as we went. But I sat there on the mat, watching the clock instead. Hope I didn't miss an oportunity for enlightenment. It's hard sometimes, seeing that he is in the infancy stages of creating the structured "how to teach what I have learned"...not being able to help him out. I don't knwo what he knows....so it's hard to me to offer help. And when I do offer a suggestion on how to better get a lesson across to students, there have been times when MY way includes something that he doesn't want them to learn quite yet.
EXAMPLE: Karate and TKD teaches us (genreally) to strike with only 1 hand at a time. We were learning a double punch. Both hand move at the same time. Left hand extends to a backfist strike (high) , the right hand extends to a punch. A 10 yr old couldnt quite get the idea of moving both hands at the same time, so I asked permission(very important), got a stick, and had him hol dit. He held it on his right side (up and down.)...his left hand grabbed it high (thumb up)...his right hand grabbed it low (thumb also up). Now, when the stick it pushed away, and to the left, the hand execute (if no stick were held)a left backfist and a right punch. It worked great. The kid was able to do it without the stick in a few minutes. BUT, afterward, I got the feeling that I had done something wrong....as if I had taken the empty hand lesson of the sifu, and turned it into a weapons lesson . I got this feeling from the sifu, who started giving off a weird vibe after he saw I was successful. He has often said that once we learn how to move our bodies, we will be able to learn weapons so much easier....because the movements are the same...only with a weapon involved. I wonder if he feel I "jumped the gun" by using a hando. Oh well....no more teaching for me. I'll let him figure it out, and enlighten myself on the way.
HOME STUFF: We got a new stove(oven) today. The inlaws bought it as a christmas present to the wife. It's really nice. 4 burners (2 each side) and one in the center. It can be a standard flame burner, or cam be used with a cover as a griddle for pancakes and such. (It's a gas range, by the way).
TRUCK STUFF: I spent and hour yesterday with the new truck. I took off the bumper and most all the front"stuff" that was broken. I used a Gorilla bar to pry back the crushed sections. A pair of vise grips and a monkey wrench helped bend things back into place. The fender is salvagable, but the hood won't line up. It'll need to be replaced. Then I hit Ebay...so far I got a very nice looking grill for $90, and a set of headlights for $85.There is a bumper for auction that ends in a day or 2..total (if no one else bids) will be $45 shipped. That leaves only the turn signal markers to get. They have tons for around $30 (for the pair). I found the drivers side one to be in perfect condition....so Im gonn ahold out for a cheper auction that has only the passenger one. Worst case, I'll spend $30 and get a sportier looking pair of them.
Well....that covers martials arts, the junk in the driveway, my crappy day at the dojo, and this annoying pressure Im feeling in my chest. Time to eat and fall asleep to a movie.
posted by Darth Daddy @ 11/19/2004 01:14:00 AM
1 Comments:
At 9:14 AM,
Grant said…
You did the right thing by offering that equipment. They could not receive it because of Pride. A fatal flaw in their character...Grasshopper. Never stop being generious, because God's blessings flow through us, not just to us.
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