Adventures of Darth Daddy

Thursday, February 16, 2006

In fairness

Ok - Im a fair person - I received the following email from Steve - Blogger was messed up and woundn't let him leave it as a comment (not my doing- I woudn't know how to block someone if I tried) . As a father, I post this because it's from another father. All gayness aside, a dad is a dad in the eyes of a child.

Shannon, I don't condemn you at all.

I read your post about being a dancer. I thank you for your honesty.
There seems to be a problem with blogger, I can't leave a comment on
your site. Maybe I'm no longer allowed to, I'm not sure, but I send you
this email in good faith, if you would like to copy and paste it to
your blog as a reply, I promise you I will leave you alone. I wish you
no ill will BUT I cannot bow down and accept hostility or condemnation
for my family. I owe it to my own child to stand up for what I believe.
As a father, I am sure you can at least relate to that aspect?

Thank you for your honesty. The gay community is in no way related to
the gay strip club scene, anymore than the straight community is
related to Hooters.

This is my view, I would appreciate it if you would post it on your
blog, I won't go back to see, it's none of my business anymore. As a
family man, I just wish you the best for your family and hope that you
will afford me the same. But this is my view:

The Supreme court struck down sodomy laws. So I am legal (hell, for all
anybody knows I might be celibate, but people - not referring to you-
don't seem to ponder that possibility). I am legal. Period. I am a
taxpayer. Period. I should be able to enroll my child in a school
system funded by MY taxes without having to face condemnation for my
family. Period.

This is America where we, the minority, should be free from tyranny,
oppression or even just hostility from the majority. If an individual
such as your child wants to shout in my child's face that her family is
an abomination, yes that is your right and all I can say is damn you
for wanting an America such as that, but America is based on free
speech so my daughter has to be prepared for such hatred. And like it
or not, that IS hatred.

That's all I can say, this is shaking me up too much. I think you,
within your own family, should be free to condemn. You can tell your
child that homosexuality is wrong and you can raise your child to
believe that, however I disagree that I or my daughter should have to
face that condemnation in a public place supported by my tax dollars.
Whether you like me or not, I am a legal, law abiding taxpayer and that
is supposed to afford me some rights in this country.

Why can't you teach your child tolerance? That doesn't have to equal
acceptance you know. It's just fucking tolerance. Why is that so hard?

I wish you the best Shannon and I'm sorry for getting you upset. I'm a
gay parent and I will continue to visit parent blogs, I have that
right, but I promise you I won't bother you again.

Now, to addreess some of those comments, (not pick them apart) and then I promise, back to the boring stuff.

1. Ok - gay nightclubs aren't the best representation of the gay lifestyle. A flagrant and WOOHOO one, but perhaps not a mean (or mode or median).

2. Freedom of speech, as I refer to it, doesn't cover the right to shout things at another person. Especially children - even coming from children. There IS such a thing as manners. It's ok to speak your mind, but shouting hostilities in antoehrs face is wrong, and posibley illegal.

3. Freedon of speach does, however, extend to my , my kids, and anyother person (you and yours included) the right to disagree. Perhaps openly. We have the right not to like someone because they wear yellow. Im not saying that this is right - but we have the right to like or dislike whoever we want, for whatever reason.

4. My child would probably be the first one sent to the principal office for knocking someoneelses little "darling" on their ass , for yelling and screaming at another person. I hope, one day, to be able to see my child stick up for another child. Handicapped, younger, gay, whatever. Heroics are heroics.

5. Again, disagreement is automatically termed as hate speech (you mention: tyranny, hostility, oppression, shouting in a childs face, abomination, condemn). I knwo that we have enbarassing people who do this, but there seems to be no middle ground. No where for people who have tolerance, just not acceptance. We are label "hate mongers", and told that we "just don't get it". I get it - I tolerate , but dont' accept. At least not for my kids. If not accepting is not "gettign it", so be it. We simply define "getting it" from our own narrow minded perspcetive. But to go aroudn staing that "Im glad that there are at least some people who get it", as Ive seen posted as comments on a blog or two (at least), is an insult to those of us who "get it", but simply disagree. There are those of us out here (perhaps a few) that have made a rational, intellignent, and well thought thru desicion. To say that we don't get it is an insult. Much as offended you would be if we said that YOU don't get it for seeing thing from your perspective.

I noticed that you posted on Father Knows jest, and probably followed my comment back to this blog. I wonder if you would ever have visited, if not for that comment I made. I also wonder if posting about gay topics is why the Visitors numbers quadrupled.

As a father, feel free to stop back as often as you like. Perhaps we should agree to table this topic. It'll make it look that you are not seeking to get attention, and will allow me less of an oportunity to feel bad about pissing off people I've never met. If you dont drop back in - I'll still be here. Being myself.

My final say on this is that , regardless of who we are inside, it's who we are in the eyes of our kids that is the most important.


  • At 1:08 AM, Blogger Steve S said…

    I actually came across your site by the Beans Dad blogroll, just clicking around parenting sites. What you originally said, that made me comment, was hurtful. Obviously I hurt back, and obviously neither one of us intended to.

    I also found Father Knows Jest from the blogroll and seeing your comment there was coincidental. I actually saw that comment after I read your posts here.

    Just because we all get curious as to hits our site gets - I don't know the reason for your increase. I never linked to you here, except your name does in my comments. I've never talked about this outside of our two blogs, all instances of which you are aware of. However, both days I did pop back over here maybe 10-12 times each day to see if there was a response (I work from home, I have the free time), so if you count a hit each time then that much is me. As for the rest of the increase, I don't know.

    I know you want this topic to go away. We both agree with freedom of speech. Perhaps someday you will address the topic of the right of one child/family to condemn another child's family. Especially when that condemnation comes from 10s of millions. It does create a societal effect with extreme adverse consequences.

    My final say is that I don't think disagreement is automatically termed as hate speech however I think condemnation against the core of a person is. It ties back into being born gay, something you mentioned you don't believe. As a gay person, I just look inside to see if I was born that way or not, and I come to a different conclusion. So hopefully you can see what I'm labeling as hate speech. Speech that condemns the very core definition of a person. Their orientation. It's not disagreement that I'm referring to but condemnation of the personhood. Hopefully that helps to explain where I was coming from better. Thank you for your time and for the discussion we've had.


Post a Comment

<< Home

Site Meter