Adventures of Darth Daddy

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Back to the hot topic

I really don't like addressing hot topics on a blog (kinda) - not because I don't like spouting off about issues that I feel strongly about, but because it too easily becomes a stage for someone elses play. But, as this is indeed an issue that my children will have to deal with (as is organized religion, though a seperate topic), let's endeavor to retouch on the topic. When my kids read this (when they are older), hopefully it will allow them an insight to myself .

Short Story first:
I always wanted to go into law enforcment. My plan was to get a degree, get experience from local Polie depts, and apply for a federal level position. Unfortunately, at the time I was preparing/prepared to do this (the work part - I already had the degrees), there was a hiring freeze on. SO no matter how good I was, I wan't going to get hired. And when they opened up the flood gates, I'd be competing with everyone who had "extra" time to prepare their resume, as well as all the minority hiring requiments (and Im pretty much a white guy).

I started working as a male dancer - in straight bars. The pay was good - the job was awesome - and it really allowed me to psychologically tie up some "loose ends", as I really wasn't the guy that girls chased after until then.

Long story short, I expected to find that all the bars were dens of drug users and escaped mental patients. Much to my suprise, night after night, I found that they were just people. Some druggies and alcoholics (of course), but for the most part, just normal people dealign with day to day issues - and looking for a momentary escape. My view of people changed.

The base pay when I danced was only about $15. The rest of your income was tips. So if no one showed up (ladies), you got $15 for all your hard work. That sucked. I was contacted by a local gay bar, and asked if I would like to dance a night or two (on male dancer night). I really didnt know what to think. Great - a fag bar. Then, they told me that the base pay was goign to be $40. I reconsidered - and confirmed that all state and local laws would be strictly adhered to.

*In Virginia, no touching at all is allowed between the dancer and the customer. All tips are HAND to HAND only. A marked, and physically divided stage area is also required - which means no leaving the dance floor and performing lap dances.

I figured, when I dance - I dance. Not that I was very good at it, but I really didnt care "who" was looking. I never saw myself as a "sex object", even in the straight bars. I felt that I was an entertainer - if you watched me dance around in overalls and a straw hat (to Thank God Im a Country Boy), and were entertained - great!

After my first night, a strange thing happened - and no, I didn't turn gay. The nameless "fags" became real people. Also, I should really mention that the first night I danced, I was very weary of the customers - afraid of being propositioned or whatever. The second night (and each time after that), I started carrying my Beretta. (I have a concealed permit). Not because I was afraid of the customers - but because I was afraid of some stupid ass 4th grade educated red neck trying to kick my ass as I went from bar to car. It wasn't the gays that I was worried about, but all the ignorant fuckers that weren't. I sure didnt want to get jumped outside the bar by a group of Billy Bobs, who didn't realize how straight I was, and could provide references!

I also noticed, by being in that environment, how lopsided non-gays were with respect to tolerance. By this I mean that gays can call each otehr gay - or fag- or make any joke they want (much the same argument can be made for blacks who call each other nigger). I straight guy, in a gay environment, if accepted by the community, can also be viewed in humor over names. But as soon as I was out of that environment (and in a college enviroment, where you'd expect more tolerance), I was a gay basher for daring to use words like "Fruit loop" and "fag".

I really feel bad for anyone caught in a situation where they don't have the support (moral) of their family. It bothers me to see the gay lifestyle almost glorified to children who do not have a sense of who they really are, and will give anything a try. It bothers me to hear of children disowned by their parents for choosing a lifestyle other than what the parent thinks is "the right one".

I don't think that mainstreaming gays in the media or movies are going to make the average american parent feel any better about their kids saying that they are gay. We all have hope and dreams for our kids. Grow up to be a good person, to be healthy, to be successful. Being gay is rarely one of them.

I also feel that the issue is seriously lopsided in temrs of open discussion by anyone other than Pro gay activists and Religious people. There's an entire middle demographic of people who have feelings one way or another, that are NOT based on religious doctrine. I don't want my kid to be gay. Not because the bible told me so, or the church told me so. I simply don't want it. ANd Im sure that there are others out there who feel the same, and wil not toe a Bible as their reasoning. The media doesn't seem to know what to do with this class of people. We don't sell papers, I guess.

There are things that I am aware of as an adult (being gay, wife swapping, open sexual relationships) that are all of a sexual nature, that I just don't want my kid exposed to. At least until they are of an age that I (the parent) feel not only THEY are prepared to learn of it, but that "I" as a parent am ready to discuss with my kids. Every topic has it's time - I hope that trying to properly choose the time of these topics' exposure to my kids - makes me a caring and concerned father.
TO Steve - ya, you ruffled my feathers a bit, but Im a big boy . No hard feelings here. I even stopped by your blog to check it out.

Now - while artfully avoiding any topic that deals with Childcare and Pet care, let's add sexualy prefernces to the bonfire of "Shit to avoid". I'll get back to all that dull stuff, like using the line from Rush Hour in drivethru yesterday :


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