Crappy day - funny post

I had a few witty thoughts to post today, but Logan had such a bad day that I can't think of a thing. He finally got a grip with reality around 6pm, when we went to the Y. The day care attendants told me that both the boys had a really good day. I asked if they were sure they were talking about the right kids - MY kids. They assured me that they were. The wife had a fitness meeting that ran long, so I stayed and played with them till she was done. Indeed, they behaved.

I belong to a Yahoo group called Expectant and New Dads Club. Got a recent posting that was very funny. Figured I'd copy it to here for your viewing pleasure...

WANT KIDS? TAKE THIS SIMPLE TEST...

MESS TEST

Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the
wet flower bed and rub on the walls. Place a fish stick behind the
couch and leave it there all summer. Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos.
(If Legos are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken
bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a
blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream (this
could wake a child at night).

GROCERY STORE TEST

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you
as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for
anything they eat or damage.

DRESSING TEST

Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag
making sure that all arms stay inside.

FEEDING TEST

Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from
the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert
spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the
mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the
contents of the jug on the floor.

NIGHT TEST

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 to 12 pounds
of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and
hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm
for 10:00 PM. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have
ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00
AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up
for 5 years. Look cheerful.

PHYSICAL TEST

Obtain a large bean-bag chair and attach it to the front of your
clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10% of the beans.
Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT

Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how they
can improve their child's discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet
training, and table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve.
Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run
wild.

Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the
answers.