Adventures of Darth Daddy

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

non- eventful Tuesday - well, kinda

Freinds of the inlaws were in town today, so after a pretty pleasant day with the boys, we went over her parents house for dinner. Somewhere between the start and end of dinner, I think the following may have happened: 1. My motherinlaw made a lasagna that included peppers and onions (I detest both), and made some comment about "I thought You'd like it". Yeah - same way I'd like my nuts crushed by a tube of frozen cookie dough. I admit, Im a picky eater, and I really do wish there were more choices for dinner than sem to be presenting themselves lately. But anything , regardless of how NEW it is, that includes peppers and onions aint worth eatin. 2. I think my son became victim to the inlaws determination to inject religion on the boy, and also became center stage at a horse and pony show for their friends. Let me explain - They are catholic - the wife is catholic (kinda), and although raised Catholic (Byzantine Catholic for church, and Roman Catholic for skool) I now find that I despise most organized religions. Let's say that if religion is the opiut of the masses - I weened and am now clean and sober. Ive often considered the issue of religion and how to introduce my son to it, how to introduce the topic. Church just aint for me anymore. ANYWAYS - the iwfe has started taking Logan to church ( from time to time) on various Sundays (with the inlaws). I have no problem with this. They usually say grace before their meals (no problem here either). But it seems that lately, they have been making it a point to say grace. Not so much as a matter of their own religious choosing, but as if they feel they are God's appointed religion installers. Don't want the poor child to grow up a heathen , and go to hell cause daddy never bothered to teach em bout Jesus. They have been, under the supervision of my wife, been teachign Logan to bless himself (making the sign of the cross). Again - no big issue here, cept that they really made it a point tonight. Almost like "Look what WE taught our Grandchild to do". This is starting to piss me off the further we get from the incident. The other day, he refused to do it, and I made a joke that "I guess today he's a Buddist". Today, he didnt want to do it, and I said "Today, he's a Hindu". Still, they pressed the issue, till he "performed" for the friends. Logan went along with it - had he gotten upset, there would have been an open fight. Daddy dont take no shit when it comes to his babies. (ONe note of neatness that I can mention: Roman catholics and Byzantine catholics bless themselves differently. Both make the sign of the cross, but Romans go UP-DOWN-LEFT SHOULDER- RIGHT SHOULDER. Byzantines go UP -DOWN-RIGHT SHOUDLER- LEFT SHOULDER. Logan , by trying to mirror what he sees, has actually been blessing himself the Byzantine way, not their Roman way . If they correct this, there again will be an open argument.

So I guess this raises the issue - and I invite anyone to pipe in here with personal stories, on how to:
1. Introduce religion to a child?
2. Religions aside, what age is best for introducing the concept of God?

I believe that there is a God, but that he has mor eimportant things to worry about than you and me. Pray all you want to , He won't make your sports team win, or hold off the rain till your cookout is done. He doesn't have time for bullshit. If there is a hell, I think the road to it will be paved not with good intentions, but with the self richeous, who thought les of others who didn't have "THEIR" religion. With people who thought you can be a complete shit all your life, and then turn to God at the last mintue, and be "saved". People who simply thought that they were the focus of God, and bugged Him with so much simple petty shit, that He simply had enough.

I have had a recent (past 5 years) run of even temperment with the inlaws, and have enjoyed not havin to put up with all the trouble they gave me sicne I first started dating their daughter. But if this religion issue is pushed, before I (As their Dad) am prepared to make decisions on it, I have no problems stating my opinion, and declarin war. Hate to do it , for the sake of the kids, but I'll not have outside influences (even family members) determining how my kids are going to belive (when it comes to the issue of God). I know that it must seem like Im being a hard ass - and perhaps I am - but it's one (of a few) issues where I draw the line.

Anyone have situations develope with family members reagarding their kids and some kind of relious trouble?

DOJO NEWS: Will be testing for my green belt in jujitsu next wednesday ( white-orange-green-blue-brown-brown-brown-black). Very confident about the material, just hope my endurance has improved since my last test. Took a kung fu class (JJ teacher #2 on vacation), and had one hell of a class. Only students were me and an 8 year old, but things went very well. Reviewed previous stuff (5 animal set pattern), went over 12 level fists, and learned somethign new : 18 deadly (or earthly) hands. Really neat shit. The 18 hands incorporates the use of 18 different animals (a stance and a hand shape for each). Not sure if this was taught to the Sifu, or if he just made it up, but it's pretty neat. I'll see (once I get it down pat) if I can record it and post it online somewhere.

Well - been up here for a while - got to go check on the kids before turning in.

May the Force be with you....



  • At 9:10 AM, Blogger Chip said…

    I think you just need to be honest with your kids about what you believe and don't believe. You can't get them to believe something that you yourself don't.

    It seems that the in-laws might be doing some of your work for you though, if they keep pushing this stuff he'll be a hard-core heathen before you know it!

    I don't think it's ever too early to start talking to kids about this stuff, even agnosticism / atheism, etc., explaining that people believe lots of different things, that that's cool, but not so cool to try to force your beliefs on others, etc. You can also look at the religion stuff he is getting as a kind of cultural education, he doesn't have to believe it but it's good to be familiar with some things...

  • At 10:21 PM, Blogger Darth Daddy said…

    Thanks for the input-

    The wife and I talked about this topic the other day, and she brought up some good point (for having us rejoin the Catholic Club).

    In our area, when it comes to outting, camps, sports groups, ect - there are many more opportunities for our son thru church groups than though non-chrcuh groups(like the YMCA, or Parks& Recs for the city).

    Another factor is looking further down the road. If we at least get them baptised Catholic, either son will have the option of a church wedding (like we had) if they want it. Not something Id push on the boys, but a very nice option if they choose it.

    I was raised Byzantine Catholic, and we have 1 small church locally. The priest stated that we'd have to attend regulary for at least 3 months before he'd baptise the boys. Benefit of Byzantine catholic is they bump out baptism AND confirmation at the same time. Roman catholic make it 2 sepreate ceremonies - meaning the confirmation is done when the child is around 14 or so. SOOOOO, if we get in the Byzantine catholic club, it means less work for the boys in the long run. Hate to look at it like that, but I really want the least amount of "hoops" for them to jump thru. Who knows - maybe they'll decide that Im wrong, and they WANT to be Catholic.No biggie.

    It'll be a hard road for me, though, either battliing bullshit catholic doctine (or biting my tounge till they are old enough to understand). I really believe that I can teach my sons more about God and the universe in a 3 hour trip to the zoo (and a wooded park), than a priest can do in 14 years of Sunday Masses.

    Maybe the best thing for me to do right now is to bite the bullet, go to church , get the kids baptised, and save my "Fuck off - they're not your kids" speech for when they are older. Just no more horse and pony shows using my kids. And I really wish they'd stop with all that damned Grace before meals - I can thank God for the food, but until Jesus goes to the cabinet and turned a can of green beans into a box of Hohos, Im set for leaving Him out of it.

    More to come later...


  • At 3:33 PM, Blogger Chip said…

    I think you're right about what you can teach them vs. priest as mass -- and I say this as someone raised Catholic with Catholic schooling... I did have my kids bapt'd mainly for sake of my parents and grandparents, daughter even did first communion, but then when they reach that age and start asking questions, and thinking, I couldn't lie, so now our Sunday "worship" consists of going to the bakery...


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