And my heart just sinks
WARNING: Sappy, mushy 2am rambling about lost loves--if you read on, you cant say I didnt warn you.
I've mentioned,. from time to time, about a girl back in grade school that I had a big crush on. BIG BIG crush, over many years. I attended Saint Stanislaus grade school, in Cleveland, Ohio. Unlike the schools here in Virginia, that only handle kids for about 4 years before passing them off to another building (grade skool - middle skool- elementary skool- THEN high skool), back in the late 70's, you went from 1st to 8th grade with many of the same people. Some were assholes...I imagine they grew up to be bigger assholes. Thomas McCarthy, Jimmy Feeney, David Simpson...hope ya'll rot in hell. Anyways, back to present time...
I often do Google searches on peoples names - my sons, my own, old girlfriends-- just to see what I find. No pictures of me so far, but it will refernce my business website on about page 3 (big whoop). Tonight, I was searching for Cathy Grams (old childhood crush girl), and came up with Cathy Grams Ziegler. Also some info that implied that her huby was a DR, she was an RN, and they have a boy and a girl. Good for her. Always did wish her the best (meaning myself), but I guess a Dr aint too bad, sicne she wasn't interested in me in the slightest.
It's weird how some things just stick with you. I cant remember what I had for lunch last week, but I still remember:
Stacy Lee Dick - the Avon Foxfire perfume that she wore, her smile, Baboosic Lake Dr in New Hampshire. Baboosic seems to be a word that will stick with me till I die. Perhaps it will be by "Rosebud". I'll utter it as I die, someone will overhear and say "What? Baboon? You want a monkey?" (moron)
Catherine Grams - Again, that smile - how her eyes lit up when she smiled - and , of course, black and red plaid Catholic Grade School uniforms (schwing!). I remember she stayed home sick for a few days, about 5th or 6th grade, and I took her some flowers. I remember standing outside of the door (to the 8th grade classroom), sweating bullets, on Valentines Day. I had a huge chocolate filled heart to give to her. I think I told someone to ask her to meet me, handed it to her, and ran off. (My communication skills with the fairer sex indeed needed an overhaul.
Jeanie Cobisky - My best friend introduced me to his girlfriend. He came over the house with her and a guy friend, and we all walked up to the movie theatre to catch a film. He acted cold to her, and was distant. He ditched her at my house, so I walked her home. ON the way, we stopped off at her best friends home, so she could "hook me up with her". I didnt like the friend, but Jeanie and I semed to hit it off. When we got to her house, she called by buddy. He accused her of messing around with me (he later INSISTS that he knew nothing went on, and was just trying to get her riled up). We figured..if ya gonna get blamed for it....go for it! So we made out on a waterbed. We dated, then broke up. One day, she appreaed on my doorstep. She had family problems, and was staying at a local teen halfway house. I let her in - and the sparks relit. The short story is that she went to New York on a class trip, came back a complete bitch, and we've hated each other ever since. To this very day, I have never visited NY, and refuse to let (haha-let-she'd get a kick out of THAT if she read it) my wife go there. She later attended my high school (Lake Taylor), where we were able to hate each other at my convenience. Her and that bitch friend Tamara. I think that I saw Jeanie at a resteraunt a few months ago. I didnt say anything - it would have been ackward.
I guess what really get me sad the most is shen I think back to my old highskool and college sweetheart. We did everything together. I went over a freidns house, and met his younger sister. Ove time, we became best friends. We'd wrestle, we'd go to movies, not nearly a day went by that we didnt see each other in skool, or talk on the phone. We were in German club together, we shared the same friends, had the same lunch - it was meant to be. Her brother got pissed about me dating his sister...and the mother till this day thinks that I used her son to get to her daughter (I did no such thing). This girl and I took walks on the beach, boat rides in a nearby lake, and had such a great time just being together. I miss that. I miss her. If I could trade in my wife for that girl, I would in a heartbeat. And the funny thing is, I dont have to GOOGLE for a recent picture of her, or wonder how she's doing today. She's asleep on the couch downstairs. And I cant for the life of me think of what happened that could have made the twinkle in her eyes go out. I think back and wonder "What did I do?". I know that "life happens". That we all get boggged down with our jobs, and our bills, and the routine happenings that each day holds for us. But you have to remember to laugh - take time to see the good - the beauty - the purity in some things. I cherish my children because they allow me to view the world with such simplicity. To appreaciate things that normally would go un-noticed. A passing cloud - puddle stomping in the rain - watching them sleep. I can't wait till my wife goes back to work. Maybe one day, she'll go to work....and my girlfriend will come back home. I sure do miss her.
Shannon
I've mentioned,. from time to time, about a girl back in grade school that I had a big crush on. BIG BIG crush, over many years. I attended Saint Stanislaus grade school, in Cleveland, Ohio. Unlike the schools here in Virginia, that only handle kids for about 4 years before passing them off to another building (grade skool - middle skool- elementary skool- THEN high skool), back in the late 70's, you went from 1st to 8th grade with many of the same people. Some were assholes...I imagine they grew up to be bigger assholes. Thomas McCarthy, Jimmy Feeney, David Simpson...hope ya'll rot in hell. Anyways, back to present time...
I often do Google searches on peoples names - my sons, my own, old girlfriends-- just to see what I find. No pictures of me so far, but it will refernce my business website on about page 3 (big whoop). Tonight, I was searching for Cathy Grams (old childhood crush girl), and came up with Cathy Grams Ziegler. Also some info that implied that her huby was a DR, she was an RN, and they have a boy and a girl. Good for her. Always did wish her the best (meaning myself), but I guess a Dr aint too bad, sicne she wasn't interested in me in the slightest.
It's weird how some things just stick with you. I cant remember what I had for lunch last week, but I still remember:
Stacy Lee Dick - the Avon Foxfire perfume that she wore, her smile, Baboosic Lake Dr in New Hampshire. Baboosic seems to be a word that will stick with me till I die. Perhaps it will be by "Rosebud". I'll utter it as I die, someone will overhear and say "What? Baboon? You want a monkey?" (moron)
Catherine Grams - Again, that smile - how her eyes lit up when she smiled - and , of course, black and red plaid Catholic Grade School uniforms (schwing!). I remember she stayed home sick for a few days, about 5th or 6th grade, and I took her some flowers. I remember standing outside of the door (to the 8th grade classroom), sweating bullets, on Valentines Day. I had a huge chocolate filled heart to give to her. I think I told someone to ask her to meet me, handed it to her, and ran off. (My communication skills with the fairer sex indeed needed an overhaul.
Jeanie Cobisky - My best friend introduced me to his girlfriend. He came over the house with her and a guy friend, and we all walked up to the movie theatre to catch a film. He acted cold to her, and was distant. He ditched her at my house, so I walked her home. ON the way, we stopped off at her best friends home, so she could "hook me up with her". I didnt like the friend, but Jeanie and I semed to hit it off. When we got to her house, she called by buddy. He accused her of messing around with me (he later INSISTS that he knew nothing went on, and was just trying to get her riled up). We figured..if ya gonna get blamed for it....go for it! So we made out on a waterbed. We dated, then broke up. One day, she appreaed on my doorstep. She had family problems, and was staying at a local teen halfway house. I let her in - and the sparks relit. The short story is that she went to New York on a class trip, came back a complete bitch, and we've hated each other ever since. To this very day, I have never visited NY, and refuse to let (haha-let-she'd get a kick out of THAT if she read it) my wife go there. She later attended my high school (Lake Taylor), where we were able to hate each other at my convenience. Her and that bitch friend Tamara. I think that I saw Jeanie at a resteraunt a few months ago. I didnt say anything - it would have been ackward.
I guess what really get me sad the most is shen I think back to my old highskool and college sweetheart. We did everything together. I went over a freidns house, and met his younger sister. Ove time, we became best friends. We'd wrestle, we'd go to movies, not nearly a day went by that we didnt see each other in skool, or talk on the phone. We were in German club together, we shared the same friends, had the same lunch - it was meant to be. Her brother got pissed about me dating his sister...and the mother till this day thinks that I used her son to get to her daughter (I did no such thing). This girl and I took walks on the beach, boat rides in a nearby lake, and had such a great time just being together. I miss that. I miss her. If I could trade in my wife for that girl, I would in a heartbeat. And the funny thing is, I dont have to GOOGLE for a recent picture of her, or wonder how she's doing today. She's asleep on the couch downstairs. And I cant for the life of me think of what happened that could have made the twinkle in her eyes go out. I think back and wonder "What did I do?". I know that "life happens". That we all get boggged down with our jobs, and our bills, and the routine happenings that each day holds for us. But you have to remember to laugh - take time to see the good - the beauty - the purity in some things. I cherish my children because they allow me to view the world with such simplicity. To appreaciate things that normally would go un-noticed. A passing cloud - puddle stomping in the rain - watching them sleep. I can't wait till my wife goes back to work. Maybe one day, she'll go to work....and my girlfriend will come back home. I sure do miss her.
Shannon
posted by Darth Daddy @ 8/24/2005 02:07:00 AM
1 Comments:
At 2:21 AM,
Idaho Dad said…
Hey, great post!
I had a HUUUUUGE high school crush on a cheerleader/gymnast named Julie. She was absolutely gorgeous, and a 4.0 student too. I was completely in love with her all through 10th grade, but after working up the nerve to tell her how much I liked her, she told her friends that she thought I was too immature for her. Big burst! Oh well... I still lusted after her for the next two years. She was just so PERFECT.
Twenty years later, I get our little reunion booklet in the mail (I didn't go) and look up her address in it. Turns out she lives about 40 miles from me today.
The weird thing is... I'm about 2000 miles from where I grew up. What are the odds of her being so close to me in this rural little corner of the country?
Well, I'd love to see her, just to see how she looks after all these years. But wouldn't want to be a "stalker"...
About your wife. Try making some changes in your own life. Do something for yourself that will change the way she sees you. Then do something special for her. And keep doing it until she notices. Don't let too much time pass before trying to get that spark back!
Post a Comment
<< Home